Monday, 02 April 2012
I love being a nanny. I love being so intimately involved in the lives of children and helping to shape who they are. Though it can sound intimidating to have such an impact on someone, I really think I do a good job and I really do try very hard at what I do. I always try to make sure that the two children I watch, who I'll call Anna and Ryan, are well taken care of. Anna is a spunky, intelligent 4 and a half year old and Ryan just turned 15 months. But I need a little bit of advice/help when it comes to Ryan.
You see, I am also a parent, to a beautiful 19 month old son, who I'll call Jake (sorry, I'm very private--no real names). Jake is amazing. He has done everything early and is very smart for his age, not just according to friends and family but according to his doctor as well. He's also just a really fun child. Always laughs so loudly and is always doing something new and interesting. Although it is not fair to compare Jake and Ryan, I do anyway. Ryan is really far behind. But not just far behind, he cries all the time. And well, to be honest, he's just no fun.
I know he's a baby and that he can't be held responsible for his actions the way that an older child can. But I'm going to be honest about my feelings. I don't like him. I do care about him and I am very nurturing to him, making sure he's constantly stimulated. However, no matter what, that boy is always whining and wailing. I sit him down--here comes the high pitch screams and crocodile tears. I take away something--he just loses his mind. I tell him, "No", and he goes haywire. That boy has a meltdown over everything. He also screams a lot. As in, just sitting there playing with his toys, and just looks up and starts screaming to the top of his lungs. Not mad, not happy. Just screams.
He falls all the time as well because he just runs into things. Mentally, he acts like my son did at 10 months old, yet he's 15. It makes me so mad! It's so frustrating when I'm trying to spend time with Anna or just cleaning up around the house, and he falls ever so slightly and he starts screaming. I want to be like, "Ryan, get a grip!" It's hard for me to feel sorry for him when I feel like he needs to just be normal and calm down. I want to give him the care and love he deserves, but it's hard. It's really hard. I have been told I am an extremely patient person. I never yell and it takes a lot to get to me. But I am with this boy 10 hours a day, 3-4 days a week, and let me tell you, it gets to you after a while, especially when your ears are ringing from his constant screaming.
So I'm wondering if anyone has ever dealt with a child like Ryan? And also, does it sound like he has a mental problem? He doesn't really say any words and doesn't really even babble. He screams, and says "mama". That's all I've ever heard him say. If there is something wrong with him, then it would help me to deal with him because I would be more understanding and less mad. I am not comfortable enough with his parents to tell them that I think something is wrong with their son. I've tried hinting things here or there but I think that it makes them uncomfortable to talk about it. I think they are aware that something is different, especially since he is so far behind where Anna was at that age. I really just want to enjoy my job and not come home with a pulsating headache every night. Please help!