My wife and I both have
psoriasis. My wife’s is a more severe form than mine. I have mention once maybe twice about how my wife and I visited a church and one of the members of the church reacted badly to a psoriasis patch…and responded by saying to the man beside her “If we have to hold hands to pray …I am not holding hers. That spot looks hideous.”
I haven’t thought a lot about that moment for a while until today. My son walked up to me this morning, and I notice a relatively big psoriasis patch near my son’s eye and a few other around the rest of the face along with some on his back. Normally his psoriasis is mild, and we react to it and treat it but this was beyond what my wife and I saw on our own bodies let alone on his until this point. That is why the situation at that one church came flooding back.
Seeing first-hand how people can react to psoriasis in the most negative fashion, it makes me want my son to never feel the rejection by a person based upon a skin disorder that he can only manage and he can’t cure.
Yes, I realize that he one day must face these types of people and that it could strengthen him. It just hurts to think that one day some one will hurt the feelings of this child. This child is one of the most selfless, friendly and lovable children I have ever met. I see him full of self worth and benign to the idea that physical beauty even matters in this world. It is one of the qualities I love about him. He finds his way to bring joy to those that the world would deem undesirable -the mentally disabled, physically handicapped, and the economically challenged. He just goes up to them and shares his happiness and when he leaves the people are beaming a smile ear to ear.
I am so amazed because he is only 5. The thing I would hate the most is to see that brightness and joy ripped out of him because someone willfully takes advantage of his nature and rips his self worth and view of the world right out and stomps on it…to tell him he is is nothing. When the exact opposite is the truth - he is a jewel...he is unique.
But I guess that is my fear. No matter what I do to prepare my son, one day I will have to explain to him sometimes people are cruel. I have to pick up the pieces and help him put them together, knowing my son will never be the same again….
I know that he will move on and learn something (good or bad) from it...but my son will be changed forever and that is...just one father's fear.
True 
Comments (10)
i hope you have this fear until he grows old.
He will grow, just hold onto his happiness while you have it.Psoriasis seems to fit the descriptions of leprosy in the Bible better than anything else. I have wondered about that as I have a bit of it also.
I'm so sorry but you're right he is going to learn sooner or later that people are cruel. The best thing you can do is talk openly and honestly with him about it and give him some strategies for how to react and information he can share with the other people. Forewarned is forearmed. And while kids CAN be cruel they can also be open, generous and incredibly understanding, even moreso than adults. Their initial reactions may be rude or shocking but in my experience once they understand the difference they are pretty accepting. It also helps to let all of his teachers know about his condition so they are prepared to deal with anything that may come up. By seeing you approach this issue directly he will learn how to stand up for himself when he is old enough.
I, myself, suffer with psoriasis pretty badly when I don't treat it, and I frequently wonder if my two children will end up with the same fate.
my dad has psoriasis.... it makes me sad and very lucky that I didn't get it.
People are cruel, and I'm sorry for that.
Good luck, and good job! It sounds like you are a wonderful father and that you have a wonderful son!
Man I'm really sorry about that. I couldn't imagine having to watch that. I thank God every day that my daughter was born smart, athletic, and beautiful. I was always the kid that everyone picked on (I was fat!) and I'm so glad that I won't have to watch my daughter go through that. I'll pray for your son. People should never be cruel because of appearances, but they are. The saddest thing of all is that the cruelest people are always children. Adults have learned to hold their tongues most of the time, but when you're young and your self esteem and character are still building other children always rip you to shreds. :-/
I'm a little weepy after reading your post. I've suffered from psoriasis all of my life and know what you and your wife have gone through and what your son will go through. It's effected my career, relationships, self-esteem, everything. Having such a severe case (covering up to 70% of my total skin surface at times) makes me so very thankful that my four boys don't suffer any at all. I'm so very sorry that your son drew the psoriasis card in the genetic shuffle.
There's some hope that he won't always have to suffer, not with the psoriasis nor the unthinking cruelty) of others. I read on the National Psoriasis Foundation's website that there are over 70 new treatments for psoriasis in the works in addition to the ones that we already have today. The Human Genome Project, too, might yeild answers to effective treatment (if not a cure) in your son's life time.
Until then, remember that your son knows that you love him no matter what his skin condition. That love will take him a long way. And the psoriasis may not spoil his sweet, loving nature. The cruelty he may endure because of psoriasis might (probably will!) make him stronger. And it will strengthen his compassion and his generous, giving spirit.
Knowing what it's like to be different because you have a difference can be a good thing. Maybe, deep down, your son already knows this. My youngest sons have seen my psoriasis at its worst. They've asked me about it. We've talked about it and, as young as they are (5 and 6,) they know and understand. Just seeing what I go through has made them more sensitive about differences in others.
They aren't likely to pull away, or cry out in disgust when they meet someone who isn't "just like everyone else." They're often curious, but not in a mean way. They'll ask honest, interested questions and then incorporate honest answers into their lives and way of thinking about people in general.
I hope, for your son's sake (and yours) that his psoriasis never gets really bad. If it does, though, there are people who understand. Not everyone will be cruel...And there is always hope for new treatments.
Good luck!
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