Sunday, 06 September 2009
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What to do With the Excess of Kids
Well it’s back to school season. As I was helping my younger sister prepare for going back to school, she bought to my attention that some of her beloved educators will not be returning this year due to budget cuts. This of course puts a strain on the school. It means a higher student to teacher ratio, which usually means more uneducated, pregnant, drug using teenagers running around. I have a proposed solution to this problem…
I think that we should adopt a one child policy like China. Except I don’t mean that you can only have one child. You can have as many children as you want, go ahead and do it like bunnies. I think we should just have a ONE EDUCATED CHILD policy.
Yes that’s right.
I think that families should start investing all their resources into one educated child. If you send only one child to school it does many things.
One, you will only have to check one kid’s homework, therefore saving time. Two, you will only have to go back to school shopping for one child, therefore saving money. Three, teachers will have less children to deal with, which means less work for them, which means that they will have the time to find good wives and husbands, therefore decreasing the chance that they will sleep with your child. Four, the whole sibling rivalry thing will become extinct, as the other children will not have to fight for attention, they will automatically know you don’t love them as much. There is just an infinite number of reasons to do this that will take too much time to discuss.
What to do with those other, uneducated kids? That is a good question. You should turn them into slaves. You can have one child do the housekeeping, one do the cooking, and another do prostitution on the side to bring in some extra income. And if all else fails, you should just send them off to China. The Chinese are very skilled in the art of figuring out what to do with unwanted children.
Yes, this is a great idea. I am personally going to write to Obama and ask him to put a rush on it. If I hurry, maybe he can approve it before the upcoming school year; you know he is soooo efficient. That way if he passes it, my sister can stay home all day and clean, as I am clearly the more valuable child.
This is soo much easier than asking for more money to pay for the educators of our future. C’mon asking for more money for education is beginning to sound like a broken record. And questioning why they can find billions of dollars to build new stadiums in NYC for our sports teams, and yet have no money for teachers seems like I am betraying my precious Yankees. And I do not want to do that. I spent hours staring at ARod’s bum, obviously that means more than my sister’s education; after all this new plan benefits me anyway.
Yup, this is how we should solve this. Yup…
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- From: The_Aimed_Wanderer@xanga
- Name: The_Aimed_Wanderer
- About Me: I'm scared messed up lost girl. I think I'm a good person, loyal, moral, reasonable, but for some reason I always seem to get myself into trouble...
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Comments (22)
Ya that's horrible, as a mom and teacher myself.. it's very frustrating. Kids' education should come first!
Um, wow.... that's really fucked up.
"That way if he passes it, my sister can stay home all day and clean, as I am clearly the more valuable child."
LOL! Yes, I feel the same way. Let my little brother stay home and clean. He doesn't even try in school anyway.
But seriously, funny post.
I agree, however, the more money they ask for, the less results I see. Coming from the Cleveland area, I've seen those school pumped full of so much money that it sickens me. They have been given money to build new schools, update old ones, pay new & better teachers, retrain old ones, makes curriculum improvements, pay for more books, increase extra curricular programs, increase and better the arts programing, buy new buses, fix up the old ones, and even more on top of all this so that they can try to put a smack down on the teachers and force them to perform thus bringing out results and better standardized test scores. None of the above worked. Our kids scores did not get better, schools were not kept up (maintinance) thus wasting our $300 a year extra in property taxes for that levy. We haven't seen a decrease in drug use, promiscious sex and teen pregnancy, suicide rate and teen involvement in extra curricular events didn't change.
Throwing money at the schools just isn't the answer. There is another answer, however, I don't know what that answer is. Maybe we can work something out. We need to downsize our economy anyway. It will force us to go back to a one income family. Would suck for all those kids who want to marry another uneducated child cuz they'd have no way to make money. We could just bulldoze all the houses and buildings and go back to Little House on the Praire times. Nothing like good hard labor to make a nation grow!
Nice post though. money isn't the answer.
The Prophet Muhammad (Salla Allahu Alahi wa Salaam) said:
"Seek knowledge even it be as far away as China."
In another Prophet Muhammad (Salla Allahu Alahi Wa Salaam) said:
"It is the duty of every male and female to seek knowledge from the cradle to the grave."
All children deserve to be educated. People in the West should feel lucky that they get to go to school to get an education and get to go to college. Many people in the world (i.e. third world and second world countries) don't get that luxery.
This is one of the reasons that my husband and I have decided to homeschool. It's just....all messed up.
Are people not getting that this is a joke? I think it's hilarious!
Funny post! I get what you're saying, too. Although I think all kids deserve a shot from the beginning, some would do better if trained up other areas. Academia isn't for everyone. I'm sad to see skilled labor and apprenticeship be disregarded. Everybody can't be lawyers and doctors. Somebody has to build these buildings and drive the dump trucks.
Sweeeet lol.
@XxFireXboltxX@xanga - Ditto. My only regret being that it's just not feasable to homeschool the older boys that have come to live with us, but we'll definitely be homeschooling our daughter.
I agree that it's sad that skilled labor and apprenticeships are being disregarded. It's part of the infrastructure problem the country currently has ... nobody to do the work :(
Mike Rowe (from Dirty Jobs and Deadliest Catch) Mike Rowe started a website as a PR campaign for hard work and skilled labor. The site recently launched a “Trade Resource Center” which is an informative and interactive resource center for people in, or looking to explore the trades.
In Mike’s words … “Dirty Jobs has reminded people of a time when hard work was not seen as a thing to avoid – when craftsmanship was lauded, and Master Tradesmen were seen as role models …”
Check it out and see what else is happening at …http://www.mikeroweworks.com/mikes-office/
*snort*
(I'm going with thinking this was sarcastic... yup, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.)
As for real solutions - privatization (remember the days when the little towns would pool together their own money to pay for a teacher for their one-room schoolhouse? They saw the results they wanted with no major goofy interference from some random person 5 states away...) and personal responsibility (in everything - raising kids, your finances, marriage, literally everything). How does that play out in my house? We homeschool, take responsibility for our decisions even if we do make a sucky one here and there, hubby goes and cuts down firewood to heat our house for the year, I garden my little exhausted heart out in the backyard to preserve as much food as possible to last the year and hit up my local network of growers to fill in the gaps from my garden (oh, like peaches which do not really grow well at all in my town), and monetary savings in case of something unexpected, like being laid off. Then again, I have yet to see an incidence where the gov't stepping in has actually done more good than harm, but hey, I'm still a young 'un since I'm younger than 50yo.
When spend more per pupil than any other industrialized nation to educate our children and get the poorest results. The problem is not finding money to pay teachers and the solution is definitely not throwing more money at the "problem" as it hasn't done any good yet. Rather the solution is cutting back on administration and wasteful administrative excess. The solution is a back to basics education that focuses on core knowledge rather than wasting money replacing curriculum for every new fangled theory some bureaucrat (who's getting kickbacks) throws down the pike. This is precisely why I am no longer a public school teacher and why I am homeschooling my own children. My salary as a teacher had nothing to do with it.
I hope that you are just posting this as satire. All children can be well educated and have a good future. It will take lots of work on the part of the parents working together with the school systems and their children. We need more people who care to make a difference. It should be a commitment between all concerned. Teamwork is what is needed. There are lots of resources and ways to cut back on certain things that everyone including the school system should look into today, not tomorrow.
This is one of my many reasons for homeschooling, then my children will all have a much lower teacher/student ratio, because I am not giving birth to 25 children! :)
@LannaM@xanga - Sounds good. Exhausting, but good.
@Karen - Awesome! Thanks for the info!
@LiberalArmyWife@xanga - Life's exhausting - might as well make it worthwhile and fun on the way.
This was really great. :D
Wow, though, this would screw America up so badly.
haha, how jonathan swift.
Teachers should be given training to discipline young school children with bad behavior, Here are parents top 3 issues they worry about.
Clearly this is satire. But wow.
I think that it would be wonderful if all facets of education had a purpose. I like the idea of apprenticeships, and wish that implementing that started young, not in college or beyond.