I've never seen someone abusively hit a child. I have, however, seen a mother smack a hand, or give a brief swat on the behind of an older child. Neither of those are abuse or out of line, and so no, I wouldn't say anything.

My husband and I use spanking if our son is being destructive to himself or others (like ripping up library books, hitting his baby cousin,  or running into the street). But for something like throwing cheerios? No, I'd just stop giving him food! Anyway, we prefer not to spank at all in public, because you are right that it is humiliating. If our kid is really out of control, we just remove him from the situation.

I smack my son's hand for hitting, touching the stove, messing with the dogs or coffee pot. Pretty much anything that will hurt him or if he is out of line. I don't quite think throwing cheerios on the floor warrants it though. I mean, if he purposely chucked one at her head, then yeah but, he's a kid. Tell him NO in a firm voice, make him pick it up and throw it into the trash and don't give him anymore.

It depends.  Often, it's just a difference in views.  If you would have said something, it may have become confrontational with that mother and who knows what would be the end result.  Parents like that just need to learn.  It was obvious the kid didn't want a Cheerio. 

I've smacked my kids in public.  But I've never had to do it twice.  A parent has to explain things, even to toddlers.  They're smarter than we think.  Once, when I was out with my family, my daughter threw her fork on the floor of the restaurant.  I smacked her hand, picked it up and told her, "if you don't want your food, don't eat it.  You don't have to throw your fork on the ground.  It makes a mess that someone else has to clean up."  I got some nasty glares from a few people, but she didn't throw it again.  It's funny, because if I did nothing and she kept throwing it, people still would give me nasty glares.  And they'd probably be the same people.

I thought spanking and smacking of hands went out when all the literature came out to prove it didn't help the kid's brain grow at all.   Does anybody read anymore?  A toddler acting out is going to stop because he gets smacked?  Really?  Are you serious?  And in front of other people, like, total humiliation, with no thought process required on his part?  Remove him from the area he's acting like an animal in, hold him tight, or, put him in a short time out in wherever, a crib,a bed, a bassinet, and talk about it.  My 17 month old grandson was head slamming routinely when he was frustrated, not getting his way, etc., and we all agreed on short time outs for each head butt.  Know what?  A week later we had maybe one head butt every two days, and we are still making headway.  He hates it, knows exactly why he's going there, isn't left there more than 2 minutes due to his age, but hell, it's working.  I cannot imagine hitting him after he's already hit the floor with his head.  And when mine were little?  Scream in the store?  We'd leave and come home sans all their favorite food supplies for the rest of the week.  Leave the theater.  Leave the restaurant.  No enjoyment, just leave and come home and go to their rooms.  30 years later of studies have proven spanking does not do the brain cells any good at ALL.  Period.  End of discussion.

yes on holiday quite a few times Spain, Mexico (the only problem is the language barrier) we won't say anything because things might get nasty.

For fuck's sake, she slapped his hand.  It's not like she stripped off the kid's pants and belted his bare ass in front of an entire store.  Maybe get off your high horse a little and realize that not everybody parents like you.

I've seen it. No, I wouldn't say anything. Not my business, and I don't believe a smack on the hand is harmful to a disobedient child. Young children cannot understand verbal reasoning. As someone who has worked with children of different ages, I know the difference between children who are disciplined and children whose parents only use words. The only words ones are the ones who are impossible and uncontrollable and who disrupt the classes of people like me who have to teach them. Of course I don't know if this particular mother is a good mother or loving and consistent on a daily basis, but no one seeing her one time can really know that. I respect that she at the very least wants her children to behave, whether they're home or out. 

I know that consistent discipline, including physical, doesn't destroy a child. I was disciplined that way, and I know many people who were. It has led me to have self-control, perseverance, respect for authority, and an orderly life, as well as confidence that I can do what I set out to do. I'm grateful. 

There is a lot of judgment in this post, and I say this not even being a mother. 

Making fun of another woman's baby? Okay, I know a lot of people have the 'ugly' baby talk.  Being annoyed by baby language another mother uses? Fine (although, I would expect better from someone who is a mother and might've been able to see the bigger picture there).  But all this over a mother smacking a child's hand? Seriously?

I was slapped as a child, many a times across the face in public.  The lesson that I learned from it was not to fear mommy's hand, but was to understand humiliation as a consequence to my bad decisions.  As I grew older, it wasn't the sting of being slapped or spanked that made me cry, it was the embarrassment or humiliation that was attached to it, and such is real life.  Will I use this technique when I become a parent? Who knows--I'm not against spanking, but I won't be spanking or slapping my child on the face probably.  But unless it is abuse, or something truly outrageous and immoral, I WILL NOT be passing judgment on other parents in the immature manner in which you have in this post.

Hearing a mother scream at her child, or hit her hard puts a knot in my stomach. I think that's what some people call an "abuse trigger".

I think that sometimes behavioral problems could be solved if the parent would take a second look at their own behavior when they are disciplining their child. For instance, I've seen parents get in their child's face and cuss at them for back talking. Umm, okay, the kid probably could have used more respect when talking to the parent, but look at what example is being given. The kid thinks it's okay to mouth off because you're screaming in his face. Or when a child gets spanked for hitting another kid. I've actually seen a mom swat her kid and say "We don't hit other people." Talk about conflicting messages.

@greene_lily@xanga - I like that you see that there needs to be calm explanation about why what they did is wrong, and how it needs to be coupled with discipline. I was spanked as a child, but I think my parents did it in a very constructive, helpful way. They always, without fail, would send us to our rooms for a couple of minutes so we *both* could cool down, then they would come in and hug us and tell us why we are being punished. They would assure us that the love us, then ask us to bend over--we'd get a few swats, and then they would immediately hug us and assure us they love us after the spanking, until we were done crying (if we cried). I always felt it was done out of love, even though I hated it. My dad would even start crying sometimes because he didn't want to do it, but he felt he had to do be a good parent.

Just like using time outs, spanking can be done in a wholesome, calm, loving way. I think most people equate it with abuse when it often is far from it--at least in my family's case.