Friday, 25 January 2013
-
My Mother's Prayer
Dear God,Tonight, I won’t pray. Tonight, I will plead.
As a mother, the world today is overwhelming. The news is today as it was yesterday - heart wrenching and terrifying. Adults abusing, killing, torturing children. People, in whom the ones in their lives have grown to trust are lying, cheating and damaging souls. Or even removing them completely from this world.
I’ve grown more weary of strangers than ever. I scowl at someone who smiles at my children, as I pull them closer, protectively. The gas company technician, here to just check my heaters pilot light, is a threat. The elderly neighbor who waves to my children every morning, is now a pervert. The deadbolt on my front door, is now an illusion. My children’s school, feels ominous and vulnerable. I’m uneasy until they’re back in my care.
So, God, tonight, instead of my usual prayer, tonight I plead with you. I acknowledge that you don’t bargain and can’t make promises. And my understanding is that there is a method to your madness, a reason for everything. And that you will take care of us. But, tonight? My worry is bigger than I am, and my inability to ultimately control ANY outcome is striking. So, I ask you, I beg you, this:
Whatever you have planned for me, whatever joy, love, success or good things you have planned for me, I willingly give up, if you would ensure the safety of my children. If there is anything you can take from me, take it. If there is anything you can give me to bear, I will bear it, but please, please, always protect my children. Please keep them healthy and safe and joyful and blissfully unaware of the world's ugly.
The world is so serious right now, it’s so big that I can't even begin to wrap my mind around it and when I do, I’m unable to breathe for a minute and I feel it is just me that stands between my children and the world - and that makes me scared all of the time.
My trust in you is unwavering, but I’m confused. My worries have always been quieted with knowing that there is a greater good, a grander plan, a reason for everything. I’ve seen the bigger picture.
But today, I feel blind.
Thank you God, for everything that we have and everything that we are.
Has your faith been tested? Are you more fearful these days? How do you protect your children?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to momaroo's Momaroo Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in momaroo's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: JessicaToday@xanga
- Name: JessicaToday
- Location: Los Angeles, California, United States
- About Me: A humor writer, comedian and single mom living in Los Angeles and trying every day to find the funny in things that are most likely not funny. You may not "get" me and that's okay. Life can be hard, challenging, beautiful and ugly. I choose to laugh, be silly, vent, love and live authentically. If you'd like to watch my stand up ... Http://www.vimeo.com/jessicagarvin For more... http://www.3stagesofgirl.com Follow me on twitter! @3stagesofgirl
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 8 58 Views: 69608 786879 Comments: 70 821 View all posts by JessicaToday@xanga
Comments (3)
This piece so touched my heart. We as parents and grandparents can only do our best. These times are very scary for all of us. Being a Baby Boomer, I often wonder if the world has changed or the new media has grown so much that we are bombarded daily with bad news. Stories then were not as horrific or terrifying as they are today.
But, I also realize that there are so many more contributing factors today that did not exist when I was raising my little ones. So, it is natural for parents to be more fearful and less trusting of people outside their home. And, sadly, even people inside the home present a danger to their children.
How do we protect our children? Having a two grandchildren, both in their teens, the only advice I have is to be vigilant. I am not a religious person, but I do believe in God, and I have often questioned how he can be letting our small one's be lost or destroyed,
I will add my thoughts and prayers with yours. Maybe God will answer them someday.
My faith has been tested many times, but I've never really been one to blame God for things that happen in this world, nor do I go to Him asking why they happen. I know many people do, and I do not begrudge them that. I want answers just as much as the next person, especially when something happens to a child/children, but I just ask the perpetrator (well, not in person, but I've been known to yell at the tv).
Since becoming a parent, I'm more aware of my surroundings, the people around us, and downright discriminatory when it comes to the influences in our lives. For example, if you swear around me, that's fine, but watch your mouth around my little ones. If you're a drug addict/dealer, peace out. If you do anything that I feel is not in my child's best interest, have a great life without me in it. I keep a very watchful eye on my children wherever we are, and never assume they're "just fine" when they wander out of my sight. I wouldn't say I go as far as considering every stranger a threat or anything like that, but I'm not as trusting as I was before having children. I would never leave one of my children with a stranger because, well, ya never know... I still assume there is good in everyone, though because chances are, the guy at the grocery store who played peek-a-boo with my son last week was not thinking he'd like to snatch my kid and run. I guess I wouldn't qualify myself as fearful, just aware.
I want my children to feel safe and secure, even in this world with so much fear and terror and hatred. I want them to grow up knowing that despite the bad seeds, there are some really great apples out there, and those are the people we try to focus on. I don't want my babies to fear ever stranger. I don't want them clinging to my sides when we're out in public. I want to teach them to be aware of their surroundings and to go with their guts. I truly feel our instincts are our greatest asset, and if I can successfully instill this knowledge in my kids, I will be satisfied.
I loved this post, too. It was so honest and open and raw. Thank you so much for sharing your feelings. I think we've all felt this way at least once in our lives, and I can feel the devotion and love you have for your children.
You're an amazing mother. I wish I can be like you someday