I'm going to admit something, and it's not easy. Deep breaths... I'm a homebody.
I know, I know, a writer who's a recluse-- like that's new. No, this
is new. It happened about, oh, 17-months ago. Strangely enough, it coincides with the birth of my daughter. Imagine that! It started with me terrified of the germs that could harm my little bundle of joy. I got over that real quick when I started to feel like the walls of my house were closing in on me.
No, the real reason I'm a homebody is because of the absolute pain in the rear it is to take a child out and about. Errands that should take ten minutes wind up becoming huge ordeals that involve tears, stares from strangers, and poopy diapers changed in the minuscule post office bathroom. Does this sound familiar to anyone? Show of hands?
Here are my Top 5 Most Annoying Things Parents Deal With While Out Alone with the Kids:
1. The dang door. I mean, really. Does it get any more basic? You walk up to the door and sigh. You then have to twist yourself around so you are backing up to the door. You then (very gracefully and in no-way a ridiculous or unattractive way) stick your butt out, smashing it up against the glass to prop it open, and then awkwardly waddle backwards pulling the stroller through the opening. Chances are, the door will slam onto the edge of the stroller because you don't rip it out of the way fast enough. Then, once you and your little darling are both 100% inside the store, you realize they have dropped their pacifier/sippy cup/FAVORITE TOY EVER THAT IS IRREPLACEABLE on the other side of the door. Cue defeat. Begin again.
2. Arm fatigue. I took a trip to Kohl's recently to purchase a gift card for a friend. I figured we would be in and out quickly, and didn't want to lug the stroller out and mess with it, so I carried my daughter into the store. Strength training and a quicker in-and-out. That's a win-win. My daughter weighs around 25 pounds, but by the end of that errand, I swear she had gained an extra
500 pounds. I stood in a line with exactly one customer in front of me, who couldn't grasp that there was in fact a limit of two on the discounted fuzzy socks for a good 30 minutes. I shifted arm to arm, hip to hip. When I finally got back to my car, I literally had to drive all the way home using only one arm, because the muscles in my right arm were too strained. This could be a typical annoyance for parents, or it could just mean I really, really need to get my butt back into the gym. Yeah... nahhh.
3. The fact that you are one person. When cloning comes back into style, and we start experimenting on humans, sign me up, because if I can have one more of me to sit in the passenger seat and hand my daughter back the pacifier she throws on the floor, the bottle she throws on the floor, her toys she throws on the floor, I'd be in heaven. Me #2 could turn around and play peek-a-boo with her while I navigate traffic, and keep baby girl from entering total meltdown mode. Sadly, we have not arrived at this Twilight Zone utopia, so she has to be content with me reaching my arm back and blindly flailing my hand around until I connect with her foot and give it a "hang in there" squeeze. Has that ever calmed a tired toddler down? I didn't think so.
4. Panicking when lines are long. The post office at Christmas was a prime example of this. I gave all of the customers waiting a hilarious show while I pulled out all of the stops to keep her happy. Funny faces, funny noises, tug of war with her pacifier, blowing in her face until she giggled (yes, she loves it, and yes, I know she's weird). I could feel the stares, and I am a NOTORIOUSLY shy and introverted person. But at that moment, all I cared about was keeping her happy for the 45 minutes I stood in line to buy Christmas stamps. Next year, everyone is getting the Liberty Bell.
5. Keeping up with everything. Besides the baby who is mobile and that adds a double layer of fun to the game, the sheer amount of STUFF I have to take with me, keep track of, and make sure it makes it back into my house is overwhelming, and that's not counting anything I pick up while I'm out. From the cart cover to distraction toys to sippy cups to diapers/wipes to her jacket to her shoes that she rips off at the first available moment... too much stuff. The kicker is when I do manage to keep everything together for the baby, and make it to the register, only to remember that my wallet is on the counter in the kitchen back home. Ahh... domestic life.
So, I'm not afraid of germs, I don't hide because I don't like strangers touching my kid (DON'T TOUCH my kid!), I stay home because... honestly? It's just way too much work and stress. Very rarely do I have an errand that is so pressing it can't be done after my husband gets home from work, or on the weekends when we can tag team the chores together.
The saddest part of all is that we only have one kiddo so far. My brain can't even wrap around the thought of two. Two little people to entertain. Having to lug two people's stuff around. Oh gosh, the horror...
How do you tackle the errands that need to be run? Kids or no kids?
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Comments (15)
Lol this was adorable. And furthers my theory that when I have kids, I'm dropping them off with my parents at least a day a week, called Errand Day! ;] Hopefully they stay in the tri-state area..
Leashes help. People who've never had kids before think they're awful but trust me on this one; it's a lot better than lugging your kid around on one arm or having them take off on you when you've just told them to "Stay right there." Ha! Toddlers obey about as well as cats do. Such fun! Kind of glad I'm past it now. Hang in there.
This was a great and funny post! I remember dreading shopping trips...I had three little ones to transport and each trip brought it's own challenges. But, looking back, I just took it in stride and I totally miss those days now!
It seems hard when I see these moms lugging around those strollers and items. Glad to know I was not imagining it, they truly are amazing to be able to handle that! Talk about super strength
I, too, have felt the burn at Kohls. Specifically.
@Ampbreia@xanga - Do they really help!? I have always steered away from them, and I think with one kiddo, I would feel silly, but if we decide to get really crazy and go for two, I could see myself purchasing one...
@rachelengel - Oh yes! Even with one. That way you can put her down now and then without her running away or being stolen. With mine it was essential: I had two toddlers at the same time (a year apart), was usually on my own with them, and when they decided to take off it was it would always be in opposite directions.
I'd say either a) leave them with someone else, or b) get a leash! I don't have kids of my own, but I was a nanny for two little ones, and a leash definitely would have come in handy for the little girl.
My kids are older and it still drives me crazy to run errands with them!
OMG! I agree with all of these! Running errands with four kids is like public suicide for me! My kids are great but I hate doing it!
Wow. Poor you.
Have you ever heard of babywearing? Get a ring sling, or a mei tai and ditch the stroller. I never had any of the troubles you've listed. Baby/toddler/pre-schooler is safe, up high where they can interact with mom and strangers and the real world and not get bored or banged in the head with briefcases or cigarettes, no pain or stress on my back or hip by holding babe unbalanced with only one arm, I had two arms free all the time....
And, on top of all this, babywearing is fabulous exercise, so I never had to do a separate workout! Climbed to the top of the Rock Wall on a cruise, never having worked out a day in the previous 10 years, LOL!
you could give your baby a good work out laughing, running around and playing, and maybe she'll be tired and complacent enough to take out somewhere? does this work?
I can relate to much of this, and we have 3 kids who are only 3 and a half years apart. Every shopping trip with them turns into a chore, even when they're all behaving well. The oldest, who's 6, is usually the best behaved, but there are times when she acts like a toddler, and it makes me want to tear my hair out. Our middle child, who will be 4 next month, can never decide if he wants to walk or ride in the cart, and almost always announces he has to pee when we're nowhere near a bathroom. The youngest, who will be 3 in March, cries when he's put in the cart nearly every single time, but even with his harness, he's still a pain to deal with (yeah, he'll sit down on the floor and refuse to walk or will keep walking even when I've stopped, and falls down). Running errands with kids is a pain in the butt for sure!
Absolutely everything you mentioned in this blog is absolutely true! I`m a young mum -25 - with two boys (yes, boys, which makes it even more interesting), one is 1 year and 2 months the other is almost 6. I have to run errands all the time because by the time my husband gets home it`s way too late to go out and do what I need to do. Also, unlike you I love to get out of the house as being a stay-at-home mom I am inside most of the time and I get restless so I look forward to errand day, but not to taking the kids with me! When my 1 year old isn`t reaching into my purse to try and eat my wallet or throw my lottery tickets on the floor cause he thinks it`s funny, my 6 year old is wandering down the isle looking at the cookies going `mommy, mommy, mommy, can I get this, mom, mom, mom?". So while trying to keep my baby from throwing all the belongings of my purse onto the floor I have a whining 6 year old who cries if I tell him "no cookies". And, I'm not one of those moms who gives in and buys him whatever he wants to shut him up. Then oh the lines...I've done the same stupid faces and stupid sounds to keep my baby from crying, only to sometimes do nothing at all. Then I have to pick him up out of the cart because he won't stop crying and somehow try to push the huge heavy shopping cart, while holding onto him and making sure my other one doesn't touch absolutely everything in the cash line. It's very annoying and from now on, I think I will just wait til the weekend when my husband is home and throw the kids his way. I normally don't do that cause I just get so bored during the week and like to spend my weekends with him. Plus sometimes I just might really need something and have to go out - like diapers or wipes like I did the other day - so really I'm stuck between a poopy diaper and a hard place. I FEEL YA!
i can
totallyrelate to this post. i have an 11 month old daughter and she's
verydemanding on times. (like most children, i know) but doing something so simple as going to the store can be really difficult when i'm alone, so i've now pretty much come to the decision i almost
nevergo out alone. its much easier when you've got someone to keep your child quiet while you sort your shit out.
don't get me wrong, i love my daughter more than anything, but hell, everything takes x10 longer.