Thursday, 06 December 2012
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THAT Couple: Are They As Perfect As They Seem?
I see you. Yes. I do. I see you, perfect couple cruising the Grove (The celebrity frequented upscale mall, also home of E! interviews) mid-day on a Sunday. I see you with your orbitz stroller, ironed clothes, handing your toddler a whole Foods snack as you both chit chat back n’ forth as though you actually care about what the other is saying. Yes. I see you.I see you, in your Banana Republic casual best, showing your edge by sporting your white, lace less converse, without a scuff or spec of dirt on them. And your husband, with his news cap and light army green cargo shorts, showing that he’s a man of golf and x-box.
I see you both as you hover over your toddler at the bookstore, flanking his sides at the kiddies table, eyes intent on a book, sharing one of your many favorite common interests, your prodigal son, as he points his finger at a picture of a cat and says “mow, mow”, you both nod joyously in approval. Who cares, if that’s not what a freakin' cat says. He’s adorable! Am I right?I see you. I see you as you dab a tissue with your tongue to try and get a spot of something off of your white linen blouse (really? White? With a toddler?) As your male part of the perfect coupling masterfully places the bright orange Alien looking stroller into the trunk of your Lexus SUV. I see you. I see the other stroller in your trunk too, the Bugaboo, the creepy Rosemary’s baby one. Good choice going with the pastel Orbitz on family day. Props.
I see you. And I’m glad. You were becoming an urban myth. I was growing concerned that you were to truly exist only in my imagination or rather my misperception of perfection. I know now, that you only exist to make me feel like a total asshole. To feel frumpy in my Old Navy skinny jeans (which in all honesty, is questionable that I should even be wearing them in the first place) and my 2 year old black Converse (con laces). To make me rethink my earlier choice to not accessorize with a loose neck scarf for just a splash of color.
To make me feel disconnected and disenchanted with my own children at the bookstore’s kiddie table as they read and I completely ignore them and Facebook. I know your game. I see you. I see your dinner parties and event list. I see how you have the sign above your bed that reads, “Always kiss me Goodnight.”I see you. Barf.
But, here’s the deal, weird, perfect couple. I would be lying if there wasn’t a part of me that wanted to be you. You both are locked so perfectly into a stereotype and all that goes with it, like being supremely happy and in love, bills paid, never on your last roll of TP, sans stress.
I mean, do you even exist? Am I thirsty and seeing a mirage? Am I high? Did someone slip me a Mickey at Umame burger?
Did I walk into a Nora Ephron movie? Is Jen Garner my bestie? My once a year splurge to the Grove with my kids is now just a part of your weekly routine. Is me staring at you ruining your day?
Cause, I’m lost in you and I can’t. Not. Look. Stop. Staring.
Then, wham. Some kid on a leash slams into me. As I steady myself, grab my kid’s hands and watch the two year old with the teddy bear backpack, it’s “tail” (leash) dragging behind him as he books it down towards the escalator. The look on his face is of pure freedom, the wind in his hair, his laugh, which is joyful and slightly terrified as his mom barrels after him, her screaming his name, rocks me; my kids cover their ears and start to laugh hysterically. I think to myself, with a single tear in my eye, “run little man. Run.”
I feel reality again. I look back to you perfect couple. Did we just share a moment? But you are gone. Where did you go?
And everything is back to exactly as it should be.
Are you part of a "Perfect Couple"? Do you know this couple? Did you think things would be different after marriage and a baby? Or are they exactly as you had hoped?
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About the Author
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- From: JessicaToday@xanga
- Name: JessicaToday
- Location: Los Angeles, California, United States
- About Me: A humor writer, comedian and single mom living in Los Angeles and trying every day to find the funny in things that are most likely not funny. You may not "get" me and that's okay. Life can be hard, challenging, beautiful and ugly. I choose to laugh, be silly, vent, love and live authentically. If you'd like to watch my stand up ... Http://www.vimeo.com/jessicagarvin For more... http://www.3stagesofgirl.com Follow me on twitter! @3stagesofgirl
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Comments (22)
No, I am not a part of a perfect couple. I do not know any personally, either. I do believe the "Perfect Couple" are actually 2 people who are great actors, they know how to hide their problems in public better than non-perfect couples.
Who cares about the others, focus on your own, you'll be happier and less disconcerted by the success and happiness of the others around you. I think this was an incredibly selfish, and immature post and am slightly disgusted. Money is not what primarily makes your kids happy, it's first and foremost having you and your attention.
Judging someone negatively for positive outward traits doesn't make sense. All they're doing is looking good and interacting with each other in a happy way. There's nothing wrong with that.
There is no such thing as the perfect couple, only some who do not choose to take their bad times public.
Heck yes I'm part of a perfect couple. Know why? Because I'm perfectly happy with my messy boys and quirky wife and misfit teenage brother-in-law. It may not fit the "perfect" stereotype but it fits my criteria of what "perfect" is. We're happy. Extremely so, so, yes, I am part of a perfect couple.
@WaitingToShrug@xanga - lol all I can think of reading this is the word that comes to mind: Jealously. Why not just pass by minding our own business and letting people be? My wife and I have sensed times with certain people reminiscent of this that we have to hold back details of stuff that's going on because we know if we share too much they will become jealous. There is always going to be people out there different, perhaps richer, better, smarter, whatever. Good for them I say.
Rose told me it is the differences in people that attract them to each other. Within reason. Both gotta be in love with each other and stuff.
Φ ≡
I agree with @lonelywanderer2@xanga, there's no such thing as a perfect couple, because there's no such thing as perfect people. So to envy that is to envy something that is unattainable. Things DEFINITELY change once you have children. But it doesn't have to change for the worse. My wife and I are sometimes complimented in public by other couples (usually older) who see us with smiling faces in spite of having 5 children (ages ranging from 17 years to 20 months) in tow. It's almost as if they think we've cast some magic spell on our kids to keep them from being chaotic.
Truth is, seeing the bright side and being mindful of how you behave in public is a choice. This doesn't mean we don't have moments where we have no more patience to spare. But as @Jenny_Wren@xanga mentioned, we're genuinely content and happy.
Perfect couple?
The only romances I care about are the ones I'm a part of.
Try it sometime. Those are the only ones that can really benefit you anyway.
The grass is greener on the other side because they water the lawn, and fertilize it instead of standing at the fence observing your lawn.
Being the writer of this blog, it's not often I will respond to comments, but I feel that I've pushed some incorrect buttons and the humor was greatly missed. Let me clarify. This was not written from a place of jealousy OR envy for that matter. This was purely an observational piece. My internal dialogue during 20 minutes of my day when observing a couple. As a writer, I often wonder about people, who they are, what they go home to, how they live, what they talk about. This goes for all people in all walks of life. My interest in this couple, was simple. Hmm. Are they as perfect as they seem? Well knowing that "perfect" is a relative term. Like celebrities or people in high positions. For instance, ever wonder what Barack Obama talks about over dinner? Is he silly with his girls? Does he hum Lady GaGa while he brushes his teeth?
I don't take myself too seriously. I work hard to find the funny in as much as I can. This couple was perfectly lovely and I hope that they ARE as happy and "perfect" as they seem. This was merely a play on the word "perfect", a tongue in cheek take on what we, growing up, with magazines, television, internet and movies show us,is IS "perfect". THEY are what I thought, I was supposed to be. But as a grown up and a mom, I realize that "perfect" is what I define it to be. If you looked up "perfect" in the dictionary, there should be a big WTF there. I'm an extremely happy person, totally connected to my two children, content in my life, with my friends and loved ones. Are there struggles? Hells yes! But, you wouldn't know, just by looking at me and that was the point of my blog. Human interest. I respected this couple, this was not me tearing them down or tearing down any happy couple for that matter. This was just me, wondering what made them tick. Was what was on the outside their truth? And I wrote it to be taken lightly. I hope you will read it again from a different place and see the humor. If you don't, that's okay. I respect your comments. Like I said above, things are exactly as they should be, which for me, IS perfect... by my own definition.Thank you for reading!JessicatodayThese people that you portrayed all sound like average couples to me, minus their supposed name brand stuff.
Ha! I had a Lexus SUV and bright orange alien looking stroller and another stroller in the trunk. But I assure you I do not wear white linen when toting my kids around; thought I do look forward to the day I can. :)
I dunno... maybe the lady with her wild and crazy kid and husband who loves her but is a little bit of an airhead, always getting lost in the romantics and not the practical... maybe they're even HAPPIER than the other couple.... maybe BOTH are perfect. I mean... maybe the couple in this scenario is exactly as happy as they seem... I don't think they're hiding anything dark... I don't think that they have to be faking...
There is more than one kind of perfect, you know.
This seemed more like a tale of envy of expensive things rather than how well the couple are together.
..maybe that is just me..
@JessicaToday@xanga - I got the humor, and I definitely didn't think envy or jealousy. I thought-- 'that's hilarious'
There is NO perfect couple.. Sometimes there are lessons to be learned and you make the best of it. You learn to communicate.. You have times when you are more in love than other times..but you push through the lows knowing that the highs await you..There is a certain level of comfort in knowing he loves you, but you keep nurturing that relationship, just as he is doing the same.
No, life is not perfect and there are many sad events and other situations you will encounter, but you work on them together.
He disappoints you, but you keep pushing through because you know he's worth it.
34 years later...you look at each other and realize you are a team...you love each other and you look forward to the future.
Everyone is different. Don't worry if yours is not perfect...but keep striving for that perfection. Love each other without question and love your kids. It will pay off.
Christy
I understand this is supposed to be funny, but wow, jealousy much?
I'm usually so lost in my own thoughts that I hardly even notice other people when I'm in public, so this is strange to me.
And yeah, I don't believe there is any such thing as a perfect couple. I do, however, find it refreshing to see couples in public who at least look happy and put together. Much better than being stuck around that couple who can't stop arguing even in public and just exude misery and malice wherever they go.
Bahahaha. I have the sign above my bed, but it's about the only part of "Perfect Couple" I have going for me.
@JessicaToday@xanga - Don't worry, I understood it! & what a wonderfully artful piece. At first I was kind of like, "this is a little creepy.." But you tied it together nicely and I got that it was just a lighthearted observational piece. I think a lot of people's problem is they don't read the article fully, just the title & the bold words, then they comment.
Anyway, good piece. =]