Friday, 30 November 2012
-
Ten Things As A Mom, I Never Thought I Would Hear Myself Say
1. Get off of your sister.
2. Nothing goes into that hole. Nothing. That is an exit only hole. Understood?
3. I don't have a tissue, just hand me your booger.
4. Don’t flush, I need to look at it.
5. I’ll give you 20 dollars if you stop talking.
6. Just spit it into my hand.
7. Good Lord! What did you eat? A dead person?
8. (To my daughter) Careful on that pole sweetie, it's wet.
9. Do NOT lick the wall of a public restroom! You know what, don’t lick any walls. Anywhere.
10. No, it wasn’t a raisin. How bout you don’t eat things you find on the ground at the park?
What have you said to your kids that you never thought you would say? Do you say the same things YOUR mom said to you? Have we become our mothers?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to momaroo's Momaroo Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in momaroo's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: JessicaToday@xanga
- Name: JessicaToday
- Location: Los Angeles, California, United States
- About Me: A humor writer, comedian and single mom living in Los Angeles and trying every day to find the funny in things that are most likely not funny. You may not "get" me and that's okay. Life can be hard, challenging, beautiful and ugly. I choose to laugh, be silly, vent, love and live authentically. If you'd like to watch my stand up ... Http://www.vimeo.com/jessicagarvin For more... http://www.3stagesofgirl.com Follow me on twitter! @3stagesofgirl
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 8 58 Views: 65672 782917 Comments: 70 821 View all posts by JessicaToday@xanga
Comments (19)
Hahaha, those are great. I can't wait until I become a parent, it sounds so rewarding.
Wow...wow....sounds dangerous. But...LOL for me this time..
LOL!!!!!!
11. Get your hands out of your diaper.
12. Get off the dog
13. One of these days your sister is gonna smack you in the head and Im not going to do a thing about it!
Every day I hear my mom's voice coming out of my mouth. I find myself repeating things that she said to my siblings and me on a regular basis. I never expected to hear myself talking like her. LOL
14. We don't lick people. Or cats.15. You put WHAT in the toilet? Only poos and pees go in there!
You'll also find, as a parent, that you discuss poo more often and in more awkward locations (such as the dinner table) than you EVER thought you would. I was even asked once by a new-mom sister-in-law to come look at my niece's poo because "it doesn't look right." LOL
I've probably said the second one to my husband.
I have younger siblings and Mom baby-sat a lot of kids when I was growing up, so I think I'm pretty braced to wind up saying things that may sound bazaar.
I think the favorite one I've heard, maybe it was on here, was something like, "Are the underwear on your head clean or dirty?"
I'm pretty sure I've said a few of those when my child was younger :)
"Don't let the door hit ya where to good lord split ya," made me want to pat myself on the back.
Hahaha these are funny
If you do that to your brother one more time I'm going to let the wolves raise you.
Heheh I love it. I've said 1-4, 6, 8, 9 working at a daycare!
...and maybe 5.
Oh My gosh I just died laughing. I have said every one of those.
LOL! Gotta love kids!
Haha, good stuff. Thanks for sharing :)
"Don't dig in your butt!"
Ah, life with toddlers.
ive actualy managed to raise a decent daughter.. her fault not mine, but im deathly afraid of any future grandkids cause i know my mothers curse will win out...may you have kids just like ya!
Oh this just made my day!
7 and 9 just made my day! I love it!