For about two weeks now, I've noticed that my son has been having a regular amount of tantrums and not wanting to take naps, or go to bed when he's clearly tired. He will scream, kick his feet, and hit people. I've become really worried that this isn't normal because he is a sweet boy, but I don't want him to always have tantrums.
He is teething, and I give him teething tablets, and Orajel for babies, but it just doesn't seem like it's enough. He's still fussy. I'm going to bring all of this up with his doctor later this week at his regular check-up, but has anyone else had this problem?
He's my first, and I'm doing it alone so it makes it ten times harder. Especially when I (try to) put him down for a nap. When I leave the room he freaks out and screams. So I'm stuck in the room until he finally falls asleep. Please help!
Do you have any advice or encouragement? Is this normal for a 9 month old baby?
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Comments (15)
He sounds like a typical babe to me... Hopefully its just a stage and he will grow out of it..
Orajel scares the heck out of me.. I would never use it.
but other then that, he is 9 months old. And honestly, you might just have to let him cry it out. I went through this with one of our little guys.. and I over about a week I moved from beside the crib, to the door, to the other side of the door, to the door being half closed, then totally closed, and then I just didn't stay by the door. You have to be persistent.
At that age my daughter went from a sweet, happy baby to a tantrum-throwing, out of control monster, lol. She would hit me in the face, throw herself on the floor and scream, get so angry that she turned purple.. Everyone reassured me that it is completely normal. She grew out of it! She goes right to sleep now, but she does throw fits still, like when I tell her no. It sounds very normal to me. The best thing I found was to just use prevention.. like stop leaving my purse on the floor where she can get into it, because then I have to take it away, and that results in a tantrum. There is not much to do about the teething and sleeping though. Just love him and I promise he will get over it soon. :)
@LadyGwenivere@xanga - Why does Orajel scare you? We used it a few times but it never seemed to provide any relief.
My daughter is 9 months old & we only use the Naturals orajel....its safer by far.
My daughter doesnt want to nap or go to bed at bedtime either....but I guess I dont think of her disapproval as an actual tantrum bc she is only trying to let us know that she doesnt want to do certain things the only way she can. She doesnt throw things or hit tho.
These moments fly by so fast so try not to get discouraged. :)
He sounds like a typical baby to me. It seems rather common around 9 months of age or so for babies to start throwing tantrums. They know what they want and don't want, but are still to young to verbalize their feelings, so they do the only thing they can do: scream lol. It's probably just a phase possibly magnified by teething, and it should get better. If not, the only thing you can really do is let him work things out. I know many parents don't think this is okay, but I truly feel that saying "no" in a firm voice to a child 9mo and older can nip certain behaviors, like hitting, in the bud. I've dealt with infant tantrums, and know how frustrating it can be. All you want is to help them, but don't always know how. Most of the time, though, all you can do is wait it out and try to refrain from giving in. For example, if it's naptime, put him in bed. It may take some time for him to fall asleep and you may have to stay with him for a little while, but eventually, he'll get the hint and putting him down for a nap will get easier. You'll have good days and bad days, but just try to remind yourself that this will pass.
What happened with my grandson was teeth. Horrendous pain from teeth, and it's still happening, because it takes quite some time to get all those buggers in. Or, she may be frustrated, and obviously unable to communicate with you her frustration. I don't believe in the cry it out method, simply because of what science has taught us in the last 30 years, and children's abilities to read and function very well. I would give her some time with me, I mean, nine months folks. You aren't going to teach her anything by leaving her alone other than "I'm all alone and frustrated." After spending some time alone, walking outside maybe as a diversion, if she's still upset, then put her to bed for a while, but not for the rest of the day. She's too young to comprehend discipline, and you haven't got a handle on what the issue really is. Age 2, easy, time out. 9 months? Much more difficult, and in need of something specific. Also, during bad teething times, we discovered our grandson scratching his face during tantrums, to the point of bleeding. I can't think of any theory around there that says that is hunky dory, so we started using EITHER, infant tylenol, or colic calm, an herbal remedy for colic, that actually relaxes baby and gives him a chance to rest a little and feel better. Right now we are working on 6 molars, and it's brutal, and from an old hospice nurse, I do not believe pain teaches children anything. Feel around her gums for swelling. Take her outdoors in the stroller for 10 minutes. Put her in the tub for 10 minutes. All diversionary tactics that usually work wonders for me, before I resort to the pain med, and sometimes I need that as well. But do NOT immediately let her cry it out. It teaches her nothing.
@LondonsMommy - it scares me because if the little one is a drooler while they are teething the gel can go onto to tongue, causing it to go numb. If the baby cannot feel their tongue they could choke on it and it can also affect swallowing and the baby's gag reflex. . We had a very bad experience when my goddaughter was a baby. I will never use the stuff again.
@LadyGwenivere@xanga - Hmm that makes sense. Wonder why they never warn us about that. Sounds dangerous, especially when they are sleeping.
@LondonsMommy - IMO the stuff should be taken off the market... its not safe. I don't know why there are no warnings about it... I know in the pkgs we have here there are warnings about swallowing it.
my son is 8 months old and does the same thing. i think its just normal for little ones to be fussy.
i would recomend being careful with those teething tablets. a lot of them contain bella donna - a highly posionous plant. as long as you stick to the correct dosage those things are fine, but dont overdose.Orajel and similar products don't last long. I think I went through multiple tubes of the stuff while my dentist and parents were torturing me with wire work for a couple weeks. (Ripped the damn thing out twice and they gave up.)
If you haven't, I suggest trying cold teething rings. There are also frozen fruit teether thingies that might be worth looking into.
Babies go through these very big mental and physical growth periods. It makes it very difficult for them!! Right before my son started crawling at 8 months, he went through a very cranky, not-napping, being generally tough to deal with phase. He was frustrated! He was on the verge of a major baby break-though! Once he started crawling, things got better.
Around one year - RIGHT NOW - we're going through ANOTHER growth period. He is throwing tantrums, his sleep is off, he's being very challenging. He's RIGHT on the cusp of walking, as well as saying a few new words and really grasping concepts like "cleaning up" or "sit on your bottom". Once he starts walking and once we get over this learning hump, he should go back to normal.
He also needed a nap schedule adjustment. He ended up going from 10 hours of sleep a night to 12 hours of asleep. So instead of our old schedule of two, 2 hour long naps a day... he now needs two 1 - 1.5 hour naps a day.
All my babies begin throwing tantrums at around 9-11 moths. Surprisingly my girls were a lot worse. My girls are seven and four and I remember that their tantrums started much sooner than my boys. I have more than a few kids so my mother (teacher of the century) recommended putting them on a strict schedule so that their body and mind could correlate sleepy with naptime. I also noticed that with my kids, 9-11 months was about the time they seemed to know what they wanted and start to get cranky if it takes me too long to figure out what I need to do for them. My third boy was the worst, but looking back I've come to realize that maybe he was just turning into the needy child he is now. I would expect that this would pass. I have a little boy that's around this age and I'm notices with him is that his tantrums are communication based. It's sometimes hard for me to tell what he wants through all that baby babble. My kids grew out of it.
Although, I do have an eighteen year old brother whose tantrums were unbearable. He turned out to be Aspergers, and I'm thinking that maybe my nine-year-old may have it too. His tantrums cooled down around 28 months, but I can see him becoming irritated when it's hard for me and my mother to process what he means. I've heard "that's not what I was trying to say" followed by doors locking and hiding behind his violin too many times to count.
I wouldn't automatically assume that there's something wrong with your son but if his tantrums don't filter out by three-years-old, then I would be concerned.
Update:
We went to the doctor. He said it's normal, hes fighting a little bit of a cold so that could be why PLUS hes getting all four front teeth on the top of his mouth. It is causing pain, but he said to give him Popsicles throughout the day when he's fussy, and when he has a tantrum to just leave him and give him space.
I feel like when I do leave him alone, I feel like a bad mom. All I want to do is pick him up, and make him feel better. But I do partly have a feeling that if I do, it shows that I'm giving in, and letting him make the rules, which obviously no parent wants. He does A LOT of fake crying too, which is funny because I was the queen of fake crying and fake tears to the point of people believing me, even my own mother. But when you look at him when he fake cries, he laughs about it. It's cute, but I don't want it to become a habit either.
check for ear infection at the dr. otherwise, see if a comfort item helps, like a pacifier, empty bottle, blanket, stuffed animal or teething toy. holding your baby can work and regardless of what you do, eventually they will get super attached to you soon anyway so, comfort! distract with toys. wet washcloths in the freezer. tylenol. and sometimes, cry it out/take a break! you can love your baby to the moon and back, but mom needs a break from crying sometimes too, just 15 min or so sometimes, it's okay to leave baby safe and walk away for a few minutes!