Thursday, 08 November 2012
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You Do WHAT Still!?!?
That's usually the first thing people say when they hear that I still nurse G. At 14 months old, she is still breastfed on demand. She eats some solids, but not much. She nurses more. Why? Because she wants to. I have no intentions of weaning her any time soon. I plan on letting her wean when she's ready. I figure she'll be ready before she walks down the aisle."She's too big!"
"She's walking!"
"She has teeth!"
"There's no point!"
"There's no benefit to her any more!"
"She's too old!"
None of the above reasons are good enough to wean. Who says she's too big? Who cares if she's walking?! Teeth? That doesn't mean anything at all. There's no point, or no benefit to her - since when? Did my milk turn the day she turned one? If that's true, then broccoli, peas, carrots, etc aren't good for us anymore, right? It must be true. As for her being 'too old," that's simply a matter of opinion. To me, a one year old is still very much a baby.
Why is it that in our culture, breastfeeding is seen as taboo? Why are people offended by women feeding their babies? Why is it considered gross? Why is it acceptable to scoff and make faces? To suggest we feed our babies in the bathroom? To put a blanket over their faces? Would you want to eat your lunch in the bathroom? Would you want to put a blanket over your head? Especially if it were hot out! No! You wouldn't. Why make our babies do the same?
I nurse out in public. Without a cover. If I even tried to cover up, she would make such a huge fuss that everyone would know what we were doing. 9 times out of 10, no one knows that I'm feeding her. They think she's asleep in my arms. Unless, of course, she's doing her Toddler Gymnurstics and trying to put her toes in my nose
And even then, people just think she's being a toddler and crawling around. I've been fortunate to not be met with a ton of criticism. Sure, I've had my share. I've heard all of the 'reasons' above, but it doesn't impact my decision. My decision isn't going to scar my child, or impact her negatively. In fact, it will help to secure our bond, give her nutrients she can't/won't get from food, will help her immunity, and so much more. Yes, she bites me. But it doesn't happen all the time. She sticks her fingers in my mouth and nose far more than she bites. She doesn't yet talk, so she can't necessarily ask for it. She does, however, stick her hands down my shirt or try to lift it. Baby girl knows what she wants. And she knows she will get it when she wants, regardless of where we are.
I don't expect everyone to understand. I'm not asking for you to. In other cultures, women breastfeed up until their children are 7. Personally, I don't understand that, and think it's far too long. But it's not my place to judge. I don't have to understand why. But I do support them. It's their choice. Their kids, their breasts, their decisions. All I know is there is no way in hell I would say something negative to this mom:
And I'm even less exposed than she is:
I don't demand you to cheer me on. We've had more struggles than most, and we're still going strong. We have used formula briefly, so I am not against formula entirely. We also use donor milk (that's an entirely different issue!). G is alive, and thriving, and the healthiest she has ever been. Of course I only want what's best for her. And for us, that means breastfeeding for as long as she wants to.
You can either support me, or stay out of my shirt.
Did any one else extended breastfeed? Did you get negative response to it?
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About the Author
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- From: Italianmama32103@xanga
- Name: Italianmama32103
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- About Me: SAHM of 3 (semi)wonderful kids
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Comments (31)
Good for you! Your child is so lucky to have a mother who cares more about the health benefits for her child than what 'society' thinks about it. I also breastfed until my daughter she was 14 months but then I got pregnant and my milk dried right up. I would have kept going but had no choice. There are so many lasting benefits to BFing and I think its horrible how people can knock something so natural and beautiful.
I wouldn't question that mom either! Nice machete, mama! Love it!
(Anyone who doesn't know me, that might seem sarcastic... no, I really do love it.)I don't understand why Momaroo insists on posting these GO BREASTFEEDING blogs.
Cool, you have boobs and you feed your baby. I still don't want to see what's under your shirt so don't take it off and make me feel involved.
And the constant posting about it on Momaroo and pushing it in my face doesn't make me change my mind so I don't understand what the point is.
@SHEERROSE@xanga - We here at Momaroo feature the posts of users (and sometimes a syndicated post or two). Breastfeeding IS a mothering topic. You can't tell me that it isn't. If you don't want to read this article, you don't have to. No one is making you do it.
The last pro-breastfeeding post? One week ago we had a newbie Mom touch the subject.
Your sensitivity to the subject makes you see an agenda that doesn't exist.
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - Wow. I know breastfeeding is a mothering topic, I'm not stupid. I didn't say it isn't. I'm saying all these post with bitey moms talking about breastfeeding there's no information that's being passed on just the same scenario, she feels that breastfeeding is her right she doesn't feel like women should cover up and she gets stares. If you want to talk about breastfeeding give advice not just say the same things over and over.
@SHEERROSE@xanga - If you want to bring something different to the table, you are more than welcome to submit a post. We encourage it. We love it!
Extended breastfeeding, past one year, isn't all that discussed. I just literally met someone for the first time who breastfed for longer than a year in real life (other than myself). I'm 32, and have known hundreds of mothers - it is an unpopular, judged activity to "extended breastfeed."
It also showed a picture of a mother from another culture breastfeeding. International parenting differences, cultural parenting differences - two topics not frequently discussed here.
I am explaining this out of respect. And reiterate - if you want to bring something different to the table, submit your post.
Good for you! I nursed my daughter until she was 21 months, at which point I couldn't anymore due to pregnancy. Now that my son is born, I pump out extra for my older one every once in a while and pour it over her morning oatmeal. :) I think it is so important to develop selective hearing as mothers. I've always just ignored the comments about my children's age and number of teeth when it comes to breastfeeding. Seriously, if I had stopped when my daughter got teeth, I would have had to cut her off when he was only 4 months old!
@SHEERROSE@xanga - I didn't take my shirt off. You can clearly see it in the picture. And like I said at the end of my post "If you don't like it, stay out of my shirt"
Sarah is 100% correct- You don't HAVE to read it. You want facts? The WHO recommends exclusively breastfeeding until a minimum of 6 months. Why? Because of Virgin Gut. Look it up. It's recommending to breastfeed until 2 years of age, minimum. Below are some more facts about breastfeeding beyond the first year.In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:<li>29% of energy requirements<li>43% of protein requirements<li>36% of calcium requirements<li>75% of vitamin A requirements<li>76% of folate requirements<li>94% of vitamin B12 requirements<li>60% of vitamin C requirementsI don't think 14 months is terribly old. But I would think that she needs more solids. Just like babies who are on formula, at one year of age they need to have a majority of their diet from solids. My sister ate absolutely nothing but breast milk until after her first birthday and now, at 9 years old, she will only eat pasta and fruit.
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - Not sure. She's just ever been able to stand the texture of any bread. She eats some meats. Her mom thinks its from waiting too long to introduce any solids.
@LondonsMommy - That sounds more like sensory food aversion. Are you familiar with that?
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - I've heard of it but no, don't really know anything about it.
I'd figure that once their teeth push through, it would a little more painful. I'm not a mother, though, so I'm just using my imagination. This topic reminds me of mothers who chew their food and feed it to their youngsters either via mouth or via spoonful - also a bit of a controversy.
@Italianmama32103@xanga - Wow. Once again, you both really didn't read my comment. No even replying to you being a smart alack.
I'm trying to say as someone who reads Momaroo I want to see more than just the same posts over and over again. I wasn't referring to the topic as a problem I'm referring to the posts all being the same. It's always I breastfeed in public people stare story. Okay tell us something different. It's not giving us anything.
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - I get what you're saying but you don't seem to get what I'm saying.
These women who/post and comment here are very smart women with good live experiences. They give great advice and coming here and reading their blogs/comments helps. I want to read that stuff, so I read almost every post on Momaroo and read it especially for the comments.
Maybe you felt like you wanted to bring awareness of extended breastfeeding to the table, okay, I read this post and I didn't feel like it was about extended breastfeeding and more about breastfeeding in public which is a dead horse debate that no one will ever agree on. That's why I commented the way I did.
Also if over 1 year is considered "extended", my cousin breastfed her youngest slightly over a year. In eastern cultures (generalization) they breastfeed till 2 or 3. I don't think there's anything wrong with it unless it's a hindrance to your child in some way. It's the quickest and easiest way to get the nutrition they need. It's like someone juicing. I'm not against kids having that while they're still little. After 3 I feel is too much, they need to be eating regular food and they need to get used to daycare or preschool type setting so they can be in school. I mean that's not a must some people home school but I'm just saying I think it should stop at 3 simply because it's time for them to move on to their next stage.
One thing I would like to know though, seriously honest question. How do your husbands/boyfriends feel about your breastfeeding? Do they feel left out? (From both the level of intimacy of you and your baby and miss out on feedings.) My boyfriend has expressed concern with feeling left out in the future. We are planning on having kids in the next 2 years.
@ChainBracelets@xanga - I work in a nursing home and I saw someone do that for an elderly person... I'm not sure why they get fed 3 meals a day and if they can't chew their food is puree'd . Anyway I'm not a fan of the idea we have the technology, so we don't need to do that...
Im all for BFing as long as possible.. (although I haven't gone through it myself, being a foster/adoptive mom, hope i get to one day)... my only concern is that she is not eating a lot of solids and this could (and i say "could") lead to food issues down the road... BF as long as you can with her, but I would start pushing more solids. (just my opinion tho)
It's your business, but, I've always felt that if a child grows up and remembers sucking on his/her mother's breasts that maybe that pushed the limit. I think you are fulfilling your need. My dear friend breast fed her boys for over 3 years, and they would just walk up and pull her shirt up and start sucking. She was the one with the agenda to do it, and when her kids started asking her why they did it and nobody else did, she started thinking about it. And then it was still a huge issue, because nobody would go to bed on time without the breast, and all the milk was bothering her. Of course it was bothering her! It's called weaning.
Good for you!
I would suggest something though....in your first paragraph, you say "At 14 months old, she is still breastfed on demand. She eats some solids, but not much. She nurses more. Why? Because she wants to".....that's what people have the biggest issue with..."because SHE wants to". People will automatically think you're a pushover parent who doesn't set any limits and they fear for your future. Never reply to this question with "because she wants to" :)
I'd also recommend teaching the baby sign for nursing. For most kids, it's making a fist and squeezing, moving it up and down, like milking a cow (I KNOW. LOL. But it is milk!). Also teach her to say thank you after (tap the chin with the palm side of 4 fingers together, and pull them away).
@ChainBracelets@xanga -
teeth are not used in breastfeeding at all. THere's no issue once teeth come in. Some babies bite while teething because there's new feelings in their mouths and the pressure is also good at relieving pain.
@ChainBracelets@xanga - As long as their latch is proper, there's no pain at all. Gianna bites me, like I said before, but that's when she's not actively nursing. And once she bites, she's done.
@LondonsMommy and @LadyGwenivere@xanga - - Technically, as long as she's breastfed, she doesn't need solids. I always offer her solids first, but she only eats a bit of them. She prefers to nurse, and I'm okay with that. Also, she so far is the only child of mine that is NOT picky. She will eat anything and everything I put in front of her, but again, only a little bit.
@Pollypinks@xanga - Average child weaning is between the ages of 2 and 7. It's only in America that we see breasts as purely sexual, when their first and foremost function is to nurture. And that is exactly what I am doing. She's still very much a baby, and she still very much needs the nutrients and immunity that only my milk can provide. Seeing that she has a blood condition that affects her immunity, this is only benefiting her. In the words of a friend of mine "I think she is wrong though, having memories of cuddling with my mama and having her nourish my body and soul would certainly be a fabulous memory to have. Granted, I don't have that memory, but I still think it would be great."
@TracyKVM - She does a few signs, but they're modified versions. We do 'all done', 'thank you' and 'more'. I've tried to do 'milk' with her, but it looks the exact same as her hi and bye, so I need to modify that one as well.
This response does not attempt to answer the question you posed in the final line of the post, it addresses the questions you posed in the "why is breastfeeding considered taboo" part of your post.
The people that you get disapproving glances from out in public are most likely not mothers like yourself. They are most definitely people just like me- in that they do not have children of their own, they do not want children, and possibly like me they may not even like children at all. You ask "why should I have to go feed my child in the bathroom?" and the disapproving folks are asking "do I have to go eat my lunch in the bathroom to have any hope of not having to witness breastfeeding out in public?". I cannot venture to guess who should be sent to the bathroom in the end, and this is because I do think that both points are valid.
After reading your post I do sympathize somewhat with your predicament, I know I don't want to eat my lunch in the bathroom, but know that your disapproving onlookers are not devoted parents like yourself. As for breastfeeding after a certain age I have absolutely no opinion, though I imagine that those you are most critical of your decision in regards to breastfeeding age ARE parents like you and hence think that they know every which right-a-ways to do everything. Hence they will be more critical of you in that regard.
Why is it anyone's business how long people breastfeed?