Tuesday, 30 October 2012
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Husband During Pregnancy
I think that I am a fortunate woman. I have a husband who is good to me and has been pretty awesome during my pregnancy. Not every woman gets that, and not every man knows how to be around his pregnant wife. We can be crazy buckets of hormones sometimes. I can't say how much I appreciate my wonderful husband.We had started to suspect that I was pregnant after I started feeling ill. You see, it was normal for me to have a longer time between my cycles, so that didn't tip me off right away. But when the sickness started, we were wondering if something was up. My husband helped me pick out pregnancy tests that seemed easier to understand. It was late, so we planned on using them the next day. In the morning, after he left for work or something, I decided I couldn't wait so I used one of the tests. It came out very positive. I was kind of shocked (and nervous) so I called my husband. He was sweet and asked me why I didn't wait for him. He wanted to be there for me if it was positive so that he could reassure me. I waited til he was home before taking the second test. That one changed to positive very quickly as well.
From the beginning, he was supportive, even though he and I didn't necessarily feel ready to have a little one come into our lives. That was so important to me.
In the following days, the sickness got worse and worse. I was throwing up every day and couldn't stand the smell of food cooking. If I moved too quickly, I felt like I would vomit. I am very glad that at this point in time, I was not working at a job. I don't think I could have handled it. Between the exhaustion and throwing up, and the hormones wreaking havoc on my emotions, it would have been torture to have to go somewhere to do something. During this time, my husband would peel an orange for me before I got out of bed. When he got it quick enough, sometimes I wouldn't throw up. When I threw up spaghetti in the shower, he cleaned the tub. He helped with the household chores and even made an attempt or two at making dinner. He looked up remedies for nausea and tried to get things to help. He made trips to the store when he was tired to try and find something that would make me feel better. Most of the time nothing worked. But he tried very hard. And he held me when I was in bed feeling awful.
So when I was feeling terrible, he took care of me. He showed me gentleness instead of expecting me to do all the things I did before. The house didn't look as nice as it did before. And my husband was tired from taking on extra work. But he did it.
During the beginning of the second trimester, I was still feeling ill for a while. I was getting acne and I felt like I looked more fat than pregnant. This was a hard time for me because everything about my body that I knew was changing, and I had no control over it. I didn't feel like me. I still had little energy. I was starting to get aches and pains. And I had to pee so much! I still have to, but have just gotten used to the inconvenience. Actually, the having to pee all the time started in the first trimester. It just got a little worse as the baby got bigger and started kicking my bladder.
My husband didn't try to talk me out of the weird food items that I hadn't eaten in years. He made sure to take me places with bathrooms nearby, or was willing to leave so I could pee. He worked harder and continued to care for me when my days were difficult. He took over doing the vacuuming when I couldn't do it without hurting my back.
Now I am nearing the end of my pregnancy. It really could be any day! My husband has done research and listened to all the research I dug up. He has comforted me often when I freaked out. Who wouldn't be nervous about the baby coming out of there? He has held me when I incoherently babbled about my worries. He has comforted me when all I could do was cry. He has been nice to me when I have been mean. He has been the strong one that I have been able to look up to. I feel protected by him. And when labor happens, my husband plans on being there through the difficulty.
He has prepared himself to be as useful as possible when this baby comes. He has educated himself and helped make important decisions.
All in all, my husband is quite full of awesome. I am so glad that I have him through this hard time.
How was your husband/partner during your pregnancy?
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About the Author
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- From: HazelBug1@xanga
- Name: HazelBug1
- About Me: Right now, I am a young woman who is about to have her first child. This is a blog about my thoughts and struggles related mostly to pregnancy. Though my blog may change a bit when little one is here.
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Comments (10)
He's been mostly perfect. I'm 13 weeks pregnant and still sick. He's made multiple trips to the store for me, in the same day even. Other than work, I rarely go out now. I'll spare the details, but I can't do much without retching, heaving, puking. He's started putting his hand on my back, even if I'm in the shower and it gets his sleeve wet because he can't pull it up far enough. It helps. I haven't done any housework in probably six weeks. Any. At all. Too much vomiting, and I'm sooo tired, even if I weren't hurling.
I recently changed jobs and am in training to do the same job he does. He's been driving me because I hate driving, even though he works from home. My current training schedule is 7am - 4pm. His is from 9am - 1pm and then from 6pm to 10 pm. He's been staying there during my shift, and working his first shift in-center, and taking some overtime. (We're in disagreement about tomorrow since it's his day off.) We get up at 5.
And he's been so nice about it, somehow. When I've cried and apologized for being useless, he's been patient and reminded me that I took care of him when he had surgery. I still think he's very much getting the short end of the stick here. Then again, having a baby was more his doing.
Me: Uh, you should probably use a condom.
Him: Nah, we want kids anyway.
Me: Erm... (okay, well, I'm not ovulating, so it's not too likely...)
What a jewel !!! My husband was terrific, as well. We will keep them.
Christy
It was my first husband, 36 years ago, when I had my first and second children, and he did the best he knew how to do. Far from perfect, he still managed to be very good when we brought the babes home, and did diaper, bathing, all those duties included. Managed to get me a nap in here and there. It will be years down the road when you really see the support and concern, as they grow into little people so fast, and maybe the two of you may disagree on things. Then you will learn to negotiate, and work out parenting as best you can.
That is such a blessing. Glad you feel protected and supported. That probably translates into being a good father, too. Happy life with your new one when s/he comes along!
That's sweet! What a great husband you have!
awww he DOES sound like he's full of awesome!!!! Imagine how great of a father he'll be :)
12 weeks pregnant. He's trying...
Husband is so full of awesome! He is totally in love with our little baby now. Our son was born 8 days ago, and husband really doesn't want to return to work. He just wants to sit and be with me and baby. But of course he needs to go back soon. Husband is so good at reminding me to eat and helping with changing baby. We call diaper changing bonding time. It isn't all about poo. It is about being with your little one when he or she needs you.
I know that I am a most fortunate woman. I love my husband so much.
We're expecting our third baby in January. The first baby, my husband was very nervous and excited and extremely protective. He tried to help out with the sickness and cleaning and such, even though he was in college and working two jobs. I was tired but had some energy and more physically fit body so I was able to still do many of the things I did before pregnancy. (like a ballet performance at 5 months pregnant.LOL) He tried to hinder my physical actions because he was worried I would hurt myself. With the second baby, he was more laid back but still very protective. With this baby, his out look is more emotionally protective than physically protective. He understands that I know my own limitations and respects my decisions about what I do. When someone is judgmental about the housework or something I may or may not be doing, he's very quick to defend me. I've only heard him remark "Are you sure you should be doing that?" a few times this pregnancy. I think he's less verbal and more active about my physical comfort. We have laughed more and worried less with this pregnancy than we did with the previous two.
wiwith our first he was helpful supportive cleaned me up when i had uncontrolable bursts of vomit attacks. with our second he was helpful in the begining but became neglective when i was put on bedrest. we had all cought swine flu and he wasnt able t see how bad me and our two year old daughter were because he was so ill himself.
this time around. the third time hes been a crybaby pain in my ass. he is uninterested in the baby and more trying to get into my paints every second. lol its flattering but i need a break and he needs to have a little bit of a realization that there is another one coming to take up our last hours of energy.