Thursday, 25 October 2012
I am a stay at home mother, which I'm sure you all know what that entails. During the day, I spend time with and take care of my son. I play with him, discipline him, feed him, change him, the whole nine yards. His father works from 9-5 each day, and comes home at night to take care of him for the last part of the day. He'll feed him dinner, change him for bed, and get him off to sleep. Now, one would think our son would be affectionate towards both of us.
But the way it usually goes is that when my husband comes home, our son gets incredibly excited to see him, runs to him, hugs him, and generally shows him more affection then he does me. I know that being a mom is an experience filled with joys, sorrows, tantrums, laughs, and more. I don't believe that I am the only one that has experienced this before. So is it natural to feel a little hurt and a little jealous of my husband?
I am aware that my son is only two years old, and probably doesn't grasp the concept of either of those. Sometimes, I even think he believes it is a joke, because he'll run away from me laughing right into the arms of his father. What I have been doing is telling him that I also love him very much, and that I would like a hug or a kiss. Sometimes he will give me one, other times he won't. I am kind of hoping that as he gets older and matures more for his age, he will begin to understand a little bit more. I want to raise our son to be a compassionate and caring person, and I want him to learn to treat every single person equally, no matter what.
I think maybe some of the reason why my son favors my husband over me is because I am the one who is with him during most of the day, which means I'm fun to play with, but when he has done something wrong, that means I have to discipline him. Perhaps he doesn't like that part of me too much. I do not want to be the mom that spoils her children rotten and tells them they do no wrong, otherwise he will grow up to have a warped sense of the world around him. I don't want that for him at all. I want to prepare him for life as much as I possibly can, and if that means I have to sometimes be the "bad guy" and discipline him to teach him that he has done something wrong, then so be it. As of right now, I'm pretty sure there is nothing that I can do to change his mind. He is a two year old, and he is going to be the way he is. We all know how the terrible twos are, I'm sure. I can hope for the best, is all I can do.
Have any of you experienced this with your toddlers? If so, how have you dealt with it?