Friday, 19 October 2012
I did a blog recently about a teenage son and the connivery of his breed. Fictitious in the event, yet true in the possibility. I have raised three sons without shackles or restraints, and have found, after much observation, that the easiest thing in life is the simple act of being stupid. But, the most difficult endeavor in life is to be that of a teenager, (listed just below parent of teenager). These funny and enchanting adolescent boys, upon turning 13, wake up one morning and scream out loud, “I’m going to make my parent’s life a churning cesspool of contorted emotions, demands, and unrealistic conversations!” You may have a different interpretation for when your own child morphed into demonic teen-hood, but this may very well be close.
Your son’s running around the neighborhood with the guys playing basketball, skateboarding or piling in the back of a parent's car for a day at the beach or public pool. He devours his dinner and then plays video games or watches South Park. He smiles a lot and he laughs a lot. Then one day….he hates you, his hair, this clothes, this butt, and his life. He becomes obsessed with hair gel, sport shoes, how he walks and smells. His bedroom becomes the focal point for exorcisms and serves as the gateway to hell‘s domain. His walls are covered in posters of bizarre looking psychotic rap heroes and million dollar models dressed in band-aids. He now flaunts an earring that changes location, every few days, to a different part of his anatomy. He frowns a lot and he complains a lot, and hears very little.
The mother will say it’s only a stage he’s going through….but, if that’s being staged, I dread the friggin finale! It’s like saying insanity is just a temporary bump in the road on the way to being eighteen. You find yourself constantly asking him, “Did you just hear what you said??” Then you realize, as usual, he wasn’t paying attention to himself, much less to you the parent!He now spends so much quiet time in the bathroom that you’re beginning to think he has a bowel disorder. You meet his coming of age friends and soon you’re lost in trying to comprehend the language they’re speaking. The boys are annoying and the girls are frightening. They all move in a herd-like manner, say the same words, wear the same clothes and if commanded by the alpha teen, would attack and eat you down to your bare bones, then they would all go to McDonalds.
I know….we all went through it and generations after us will do the same. Someday, when they are grown with teens of their own, they may very well approach you for your wise and experienced advice in dealing with their demon-teens. It makes convents and military schools sound awfully good….just sayin.