I hope that you guys bear with me for a minute while I explain my story and situation. It all started about 4 years ago...
In the fall of 2008 I went to broadcasting school. One of the people in my class was a girl, let's call her "T." From the moment I first saw her, I knew that T was extremely beautiful. However, I never thought we would really get along that well. At first glance, I thought we would have nothing in common. But a few months into the class, I found that I was wrong and that she and I had tons in common. We hung out some and had tons of fun together.
Our time together at broadcasting school ended and I thought that that would be the end of our friendship. So you can imagine my surprise when we kept on hanging out outside of class. Then, in the summer of 2011, I got a text from her telling my that she was pregnant. She told me that a guy at her work had gotten her pregnant, that she wasn't going to get an abortion, and that he wanted nothing to do with her or the kid. She wound up having her son on Christmas Eve. I've seen her quite a few times so far this year, and we talk quite a bit. We still have tons in common, and I've come to realize that I have very strong feelings for her and her son.
I recently officially asked her out on a date, and her response was, "It's funny you bring that up, because it feels like we've kinda been on dates already." On top of that, a few years ago on New Years Eve she told me that we should get married since we have so much in common. I realize that the New Years Eve text she sent me was a drunk text, but do you guys think there was any truth behind it? Also, do you guys think I should take her comment about us "already dating" as a good sign or not?
I really do care about her and would never hurt her. I can picture, in my mind's eye: me, her, and her son all together and being extremely happy. It's something that I want more than I can say. I'm hoping some of you moms (maybe specifically single moms) can give me some advice about what I should do. If I should tell her about the feelings I have I have for her or not.
The reason I'm posting this here, is because I would like to get the opinion of mothers out there.
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Comments (14)
So you asked her out, did you actually go on a date together? I'm feeling like she is signaling you back.
Awww, how sweet! You should tell her. And I do think that if she thinks you've already been on dates it's a good sign.
A friend of mine recently went through the same thing. They got married this past summer, and they're all extremely happy together. And the way you speak about her, it sounds like you two would be happy together, also. Why not give it a shot?
This single mom says, go for it! Who else would be so good for her? Ask yourself if you would be ok to see her with someone else. Take the mom part out. Would you hesitate to ask her out? If not, why would you hesitate just because she's a mom.
If you already asked her out, and she said yes, you already told her about her feelings. Go for it, and good luck.
Whoa, answered this one on datingish awhile ago.
Humm. This is a tough one, considering the fact that I'm a 20 year old trying to give advice on this lol. If I were you, I would date her. You two know each other well, and it isn't a "bar scene" situation. Definitely go for it
As a single mom---
I say approach this situation as you would any other relationship. Her status as a single mother should not determine your relationship. It will inform it, yes. You will have to be there if the father ever comes back, you'll have to provide for three, instead of two.But honestly, if you love her, you love her. Does anything else need to be said?
Date her. Have fun with her. If you want to marry her, have a long engagement. Try the shoe on.And if in the end, she's still it. Then you have your answer.
I'm not sure why you are seeking advice strictly from Moms. Am I missing something?
To answer your questions from a girl's POV, however, yes. She is signaling back. You should follow through with the date you invited her on. And let her know your feelings, as it feels right to you. It sounds to me like she may be feeling the same way.
However, before jumping into anything, I know the heart can be a tricky minefield. Ask yourself some questions, the most important of which is this, I'm guessing: can you be happy with her as is, no changing involved? It seems like she likes to drink & such, and I'm not sure that's healthy. However, she also decided to keep the baby even when she faced raising it alone. I'm not sure why she allowed herself to have sex with a jerk, but you seem promising. So, take it slow, and follow what you know is right. Think things through, and not just with your heart. :)
Best wishes,
~*Akarui Mitsukai*~
As an anti father, shop vac that shit, and start fresh....
I think she sees you as a fit father for her child, or she wouldn't have you near him. I think that's an honor. When a babies involved, it changes everything, which may explain why you didn't get along before, but get along now.
Go for it.
If you love her, she may already know this, but tell her anyway.
I am a stepmom of two kids and have strong and loving feelings for my stepkids, but their mom was in the picture. Is this father in the picture at all?? If so, you must decide what you want to do. Being a stepparent can be challenging, but it sounds like you have a good relationship with this little boy already. This relationship is a two for one deal.. her little boy is definitely part of the package.
If you love this woman, can you see yourself living without her? What do you love best about this relationship? What are the qualities of your girlfriend that you really admire.
It's time to tell her...when the time is right for you. Tell her what you love about her. Make a bigger commitment when you are ready.
And yes, sounds as if you have already been seeing each other even if you didn't think you were on 'dates"..
Tell her how you feel and see what her reaction is.. She may already know that she loves you, too, but has been waiting for you to say something first.
Good luck and may you have continued happiness..
PS We have been married 34 wonderful years and I don't regret one day of our time together. It's been amazing.
Christy