Monday, 15 October 2012
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Realistic Mother's Advice
Perfect does not exist. Real Moms accept this.
This is a top 10 list I wrote in my friend's Mother's Day card when she had her 1st about 3 yrs ago. She was very concerned about everything being perfect. When anyone asks for Mom advice this is what I tell them:
1. Perfection & other people's opinions don't matter more than making it to the next day with your sanity intact. This is priority #1. You have a precious soul that depends on you.2. Sleep or at least lie on the couch with your eyes closed when the baby sleeps. You will need rest any way you can get it.
3. Pay attention! Learn your babies cues, patterns, likes, dislikes, and quirks. It will make your life so much easier if you can anticipate.
4. Every baby is different. So don't be afraid to try different things until find something that you & your baby is comfortable with.
5. Your baby, your rules. The parents have the final say. Don't be bullied. You have to live & deal with the child you raise. All those other people don't.
6. Don't try to change your baby based on some "sure fire/popular" method. Sometimes, even if it works, you're too tired to enjoy your success much less keep it going. Do what comes naturally. The "right way" is what works for you.
7. Bend or your precious little screamer may break you.
8. You must own that magical piece of baby gear which you strap your beautiful one into. They have to love it and you must be able to drag into the bathroom. It's the only way you will maintain the level of hygiene to which you are accustomed. You're going to feel like crap on many days. No extra points given for looking and smelling like it, too. (Sorry.)
9. Don't be shy in asking for help. No one does it all by themselves. At least not well.
10. Remember to pray, breathe, laugh and of course love. It goes so fast, you want to enjoy it. Celebrate the little victories! What things look like on the outside can be overrated. How you feel on the inside is not. So find a way to balance the two for yourself and your little sweetie. You are the first example your child will have on learning how to deal with adversity. Don't mess this up!!! They are watching and it is a very important life skill. Teach by example. No matter what parents say, children believe what they see. And what they see shapes their world. Happy Mommy = Happy Baby.
P.S. Being overwhelmed sometimes is normal but many Moms don't like to admit this. Stay away from those mommies. They are fake witches. You've been warned.
Which advice number is your favorite?
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- From: bgenuine1@xanga
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Comments (5)
This is all great advice! If I had to pick favs, #4 & #5.
It's all good so I don't have a favorite. I'll have to keep this in mind for advice for when my kids have kids as it is said so eloquently.
These are great. I can't pick a favorite. I would add that your relationship with your child will grow and change, trust yourself and your instincts and you will figure out what you need to know, do, things change, or things to encourage in your child.
I love them all and have given advice like these suggestions to friends when they were struggling. I do like number 8 a lot mainly because I have run into quite a few mommies out there who could really benefit from implementing the advice. As long as baby has all their basic needs met, there's nothing wrong with strapping them into a bouncer for a few minutes so you can take a shower. Is it really going to kill them to fuss for a few minutes so you don't smell like a swamp? Eventually, all moms have to resume some sort of normal existence which includes taking off (and possibly burning) that pair of sweat pants and the ratty old t-shirt, hopping into the shower to wash the funk off and making oneself look presentable.
I would like to add an additional tip if that's alright. Try adding a new baby's needs to the existing routines as much as possible. I think this would apply best to moms who are welcoming a second child. A friend of mine has two small children who are about 5 years apart. Every aspect of life revolves around the younger one, and my friend often wonders why the older child somewhat resents the younger sibling. There are times when one child's needs outweigh the wants of the others, but ending a scheduled playdate after only 5mins because baby's bored seems a bit extreme to me.
Number 6. Don't try to change baby according to someone else's rules, or even successes. Also, the baby equipment? Are we talking about a carrying device? Because I wholeheartedly support those, however, my little grand baby hated his. We thought, "Well, okay, we'll try a different one." He just wasn't into those. I was disappointed, because I was the one who bought them for the whole family, assuming we'd have easier shopping trips, and wonderful bonding time.