Friday, 12 October 2012
I’m SO happy & excited to be pregnant & I cant wait to hold my little one...but if I could do some things differently, I would. I wouldn’t change my situation or anything about the baby at all, just a few side things after I found out I was expecting.
1) Keep the name choices to myself. My husband & I chose baby names before we were pregnant to plan for the future. When we found out, we already had the first boy & girl names picked & gave the baby a nickname for now so we wouldn’t have to call the baby “it." When people asked me the baby’s name, I said “we picked X X for a boy & Y Y for the girl." We got a few positive reactions, with questions, because the names we chose weren’t common but have deep meaning for us. One friend, however, made a face & said the boy name we picked was old fashioned & he would be teased for it & asked why we picked it in the first place. Then she told my husband that the first boy was “supposed to be named after him” & reiterated the teasing part. All of this caused quite a few arguments between me & my husband. I was hurt he chose to talk to her about not being fond of the name & for trying to change it because of someone else’s opinion that didn’t even matter.
In the end, we kept our original names (after he stonewalled about picking another one & seeing how upset I was getting). But definitely for the future kids, we’re not telling the name until after the baby comes.
2) Wouldn't tell my mother in law so soon. I admit my relationship with her wasn’t the best from the beginning but I tried to include her into things to show that I was trying to include her & be a nice daughter in law. After she caused a scene at my wedding & had a fight with my husband, I was ready to write her off but I figured telling her about the baby would change things. Big mistake!! This is the first grandchild on her side of the family & all she cared about was getting the rent on time (at that time, we were renting the basement). I cried when I found out she said that. Then every time she saw me, she would comment on my weight or give name suggestions. It got so bad that I left the house & went back to my mother’s because I refused to be treated so badly & risk losing the baby due to stress. Now my husband is so mad, he refuses to tell her anything else about the baby or tell him the address to where we’re at now (we left the state so good luck finding us).
3) Wouldn't buy a ton of books. This is my first baby & when I found out I was pregnant, my mom was hundreds of miles away & I had no trusted female mom friends nearby, so I loaded up at Barnes & Noble. Don’t get me wrong, I got great books & a few magazines but mom told me to stop buying all that & just ask her even if she’s far away because I’ll waste money! My friends said the same thing. Thank God for texts & social networking. At the time, I wanted to wait until the second trimester to tell people but when I got too antsy & needed to talk to someone, I let a few friends know. Best decision ever! :) It made up for the in-law fiasco.
I also found out that there are PLENTY of sites with pregnancy info that are SO helpful & FREE!! I use those more than the books & many of those sites have free phone apps for when you’re on the go! My favorites are babycenter.com, thebump.com, babiesonline.com & parenting.com
4) Less worrying. There’s only so much you can do while pregnant & worrying shouldn’t be one of them. Once I let go of some of my fears & built up confidence, I felt SO much better, even with the aches, leg cramps & weird sleep patterns! I just pray for the best & coast through the rest. As long as I follow doctor’s orders & do the best I can with everything else, I know baby & I will be fine!
5) Wouldn't wait so long to buy maternity clothes. I waited until my clothes were too uncomfortable before relenting. At 5 weeks I needed maternity & sleep bras because mine were tight & strangling me. By 8 weeks, I needed looser pants but not quite maternity pants so I got some underbelly yoga pants (and scored a BOGO sale so that helped!). I ended up needing new shirts & pants within a month so now I know to dress as the need demands but not to spend a ton. I noticed that overbelly pants are more comfortable & I can probably wear them my whole pregnancy so I will buy a few key pieces & hopefully that will last me. I must admit though, I’m jealous of those lucky ladies that didn’t need maternity clothes until at least 6 months.
What are some things you would do differently for your next pregnancy? Do you have any advice for how to deal with rude comments regarding baby names & weight gain? I’ve all but cursed people out & I’m very tempted to at this point.