Thursday, 27 September 2012
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Stress of a Mother
Missing the days that went by so slow yet were so full. Missing the moments of wide eyed understanding. Missing the only known emotion of unconditional Love.
~AlejandraI think back to my childhood and am more hurt now than I was then. I was always so forgiving, but not anymore. Why is that? I feel like I am falling into that terrible cycle of parenting. The one that causes me to feel the disappointment I have now. I never want my daughter or any other child to feel the sadness I felt as a child. I was so lonely, and now I notice this occurring in my daughter, too.
No child should ever feel lonely and unloved.
How do I balance my life? How do I love my children enough? How do I discipline without damaging my children? How do I feed my children the love and attention they need when I can barely balance my own day to day?
I love my kids and want to give them so much more. I know I need to look on the bright side until the sky clears but, the wait seems so long and it feels like a moment in their life is slipping away? I don't want them to miss out on growing internally.
I just want my children and partner to know, they always came first in my heart and choices. I feel like I'm not showing it well enough.
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About the Author
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- From: LALALANDFM@xanga
- Name: LALALANDFM
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- About Me: Hey all. I'm Alex, LaLa, Alej or L'Alej (said Lolly). No one calls me what I ask to be called lol but I don't mind too much. I'm told I'm whimsical and free spirited. o.O I like artsy things and crafting. I am getting in married in October. My Love and I have been together for almost 6 1/2 years. We had gotten engaged after 5 months together. Had a commitment Ceremony 3 years after being together and now we decided we want to make it legally official and have a "real" wedding. We have 2 children together and are expecting another in February. You can get to know more about me from reading my blogs or chatting with me.
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Comments (5)
I think your awareness of these things are proof that you are doing well. No - more than that. You are doing exceptionally well at being a mother and caring for your family.
This is beautiful. And I think your children are lucky to have such a tender-hearted Mother.
I'm not sure you can be all - I am not sure you should. It is a terrible thing to do to a mother - society makes you think you are entirely responsible for the happiness or sadness of your child. If you can encourage her to have good communication with you, you can help her deal with her own feelings.
At the moment I am going through my college aged daughter's room as she has moved. Her room was a shrine to middle school when life was miserable. We talked about it because I felt so bad I couldn't have been a better mom to her and she wisely said, "Oh, mom, everyone is miserable in middle school."
I have used this experience to talk to my youngest who is in middle school... along the lines of - I'm not here to belittle your pain, but know that all those horrible feelings you have for the boys who don't like you will not be a 'big deal' when you are older. She feels better, and we are getting along better.
Please note that you are not alone in wanting to be a better mother. It is something we all feel. Guilt will get you nowhere.
The fact that you're noticing things you want to improve on is a huge step forward. Knowing you want to change things will help you in doing so. First off, though, stop beating yourself up! If your childhood was rough, I'm sure you've already done plenty to try to keep your child from feeling the same things. Unfortunately, your kids are going to have negative feelings about friends, their home, their parents, love interests/crushes, and themselves. This is inevitable. However, if you keep the line of communication open, your children will know they can talk to you about those feelings and that you will do whatever you can to help them feel better. The problem with our society is the pressure to be perfect all the time, and none of us ever seem to measure up. We're supposed to have the perfect home, perfect clothes, perfect kids, perfect meals.... It's exhausting! Just keep doing what you're doing, tweak things you feel you can realistically tweak, and pat yourself on the back!
Thank's ladies. After reading your posts helped me calm a little. I still worry but you know... It's nice to know I'm not the only mom going crazy over it.
At least you are aware of it.