Thursday, 20 September 2012
Being pregnant, we are taught that anything could go wrong at any given moment. We are constantly told about all the things that could possibly go wrong with baby, and how it could be all our faults. We are told about how horrifically wrong labor could go, and how it is very likely we may "need" a c-section. We learn about all the things that may need to be done to us to save the baby. But we aren't told that most of the time, a labor will produce a healthy offspring and a healthy mother. How, though it may be hard, things can go right.
For the last few days, I could no longer feel the baby's head in my pelvis. I kept thinking about what if the baby was breech and what if nobody would help me try to have a normal birth because of it. I was being paranoid like any pregnant woman might. I can't feel the head anymore because it has gone deeper into my pelvis. I'm not getting kicked in my ribs like I thought I would because the baby's legs are in front of him, not bound upwards into my ribcage. Simply put, the baby is in a good position for birth, and probably a good position for avoiding some pregnancy discomforts. The midwife told me that it is highly unlikely that he would turn breech at this point in time, and if he did, it would be such a discomfort that I would likely vomit. And that it would be painful. So basically, I shouldn't worry about this one.
I'm tired of worrying.
The facts are most women don't need forceps or vacuum extractions (at least women who aren't getting medication during labor). Most women going through pregnancy can have a normal natural birth. I just need to trust that my body and my baby's body are already working together to get him safely into this world. My body is designed to work. My heart doesn't fail 30% of the time. Why should my other organs? My kidneys are always working and my liver is functioning as it was designed. Shouldn't my uterus work, too? I don't think that women's bodies are defective 30% of the time. Why do that many women have surgery to bring their children into this world? Why is it that the midwife I have has a less than 5% rate of transfer to the hospital? (I think her rate is actually 2%.) People are impatient and easily frightened. People get snip happy when it comes to liability. People get scared at the slightest flicker that something may go wrong. I am not broken, and I believe that my body is going to work.
I'm sick of the whole environment of fear surrounding a woman with child. I'm not stupid, and I'm not going to do obviously stupid things to endanger the health of my child. I'm not going to drink alcoholic beverages. I'm not going to take medications that would hurt the child. But if I want a tuna sandwich, I am going to eat it without fear. If I gain more weight, which I probably will, I'm going to do my best to avoid fretting about it. I'm not going to listen to peoples horror stories about childbirth and parenthood. Though I will prepare myself as much as I can. I'm going to do my best to not worry at every hiccup that I feel, or wonder about the possibility of something being wrong with my child.
Most of the time, babies and women are healthy and all can work out well.
Another thing I might note, even though I do complain about pregnancy sucking, at least I haven't gotten all the symptoms!
I was sick for 4 months. I did get heartburn, for the first time ever. I did grow a little more belly hair that was thankfully blond. And I have gained more than the "recommended weight limit" which I think is total bs at this point. And my right ankle hates me.
But I'm not getting badly kicked in the ribs. My ankles are not swelling much and don't usually swell at all. My belly button is still an innie! Woot! I hope it stays that way. My body is in generally good health. I have good blood pressure. I am not diabetic. I'm not getting constipated like a lot of women do at this stage. I haven't had hemorrhoids.
I'm uncomfortable. And I don't like it. I don't want to be pregnant any more. It bites. But it could be worse. I do hope that it is over soon though.
Did you feel surrounded by a fearful outlook on pregnancy in your environment? How did you cope with it?