Thursday, 20 September 2012
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Pregnancy and Paranoia
Being pregnant, we are taught that anything could go wrong at any given moment. We are constantly told about all the things that could possibly go wrong with baby, and how it could be all our faults. We are told about how horrifically wrong labor could go, and how it is very likely we may "need" a c-section. We learn about all the things that may need to be done to us to save the baby. But we aren't told that most of the time, a labor will produce a healthy offspring and a healthy mother. How, though it may be hard, things can go right.For the last few days, I could no longer feel the baby's head in my pelvis. I kept thinking about what if the baby was breech and what if nobody would help me try to have a normal birth because of it. I was being paranoid like any pregnant woman might. I can't feel the head anymore because it has gone deeper into my pelvis. I'm not getting kicked in my ribs like I thought I would because the baby's legs are in front of him, not bound upwards into my ribcage. Simply put, the baby is in a good position for birth, and probably a good position for avoiding some pregnancy discomforts. The midwife told me that it is highly unlikely that he would turn breech at this point in time, and if he did, it would be such a discomfort that I would likely vomit. And that it would be painful. So basically, I shouldn't worry about this one.
I'm tired of worrying.
The facts are most women don't need forceps or vacuum extractions (at least women who aren't getting medication during labor). Most women going through pregnancy can have a normal natural birth. I just need to trust that my body and my baby's body are already working together to get him safely into this world. My body is designed to work. My heart doesn't fail 30% of the time. Why should my other organs? My kidneys are always working and my liver is functioning as it was designed. Shouldn't my uterus work, too? I don't think that women's bodies are defective 30% of the time. Why do that many women have surgery to bring their children into this world? Why is it that the midwife I have has a less than 5% rate of transfer to the hospital? (I think her rate is actually 2%.) People are impatient and easily frightened. People get snip happy when it comes to liability. People get scared at the slightest flicker that something may go wrong. I am not broken, and I believe that my body is going to work.I'm sick of the whole environment of fear surrounding a woman with child. I'm not stupid, and I'm not going to do obviously stupid things to endanger the health of my child. I'm not going to drink alcoholic beverages. I'm not going to take medications that would hurt the child. But if I want a tuna sandwich, I am going to eat it without fear. If I gain more weight, which I probably will, I'm going to do my best to avoid fretting about it. I'm not going to listen to peoples horror stories about childbirth and parenthood. Though I will prepare myself as much as I can. I'm going to do my best to not worry at every hiccup that I feel, or wonder about the possibility of something being wrong with my child.
Most of the time, babies and women are healthy and all can work out well.
Another thing I might note, even though I do complain about pregnancy sucking, at least I haven't gotten all the symptoms!
I was sick for 4 months. I did get heartburn, for the first time ever. I did grow a little more belly hair that was thankfully blond. And I have gained more than the "recommended weight limit" which I think is total bs at this point. And my right ankle hates me.
But I'm not getting badly kicked in the ribs. My ankles are not swelling much and don't usually swell at all. My belly button is still an innie! Woot! I hope it stays that way. My body is in generally good health. I have good blood pressure. I am not diabetic. I'm not getting constipated like a lot of women do at this stage. I haven't had hemorrhoids.
I'm uncomfortable. And I don't like it. I don't want to be pregnant any more. It bites. But it could be worse. I do hope that it is over soon though.
Did you feel surrounded by a fearful outlook on pregnancy in your environment? How did you cope with it?
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About the Author
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- From: HazelBug1@xanga
- Name: HazelBug1
- About Me: Right now, I am a young woman who is about to have her first child. This is a blog about my thoughts and struggles related mostly to pregnancy. Though my blog may change a bit when little one is here.
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Comments (7)
The start of my pregnancy was amazing no morning sickness wasn't gaining weight and yada yada. Until i had my ultra sound where they measure every little bone. It was brought up then that my daughter might have a heart condition had to wait another month to sechdule yet another ultrasound that was the longest month of searching on google, bing, ask, every search engine every story was read cried about and worried about. When in for another ultrasound had to wait to see my dr. to get the results which was a months wait. Then all of a sudden everything was fine. I went threw the rest of my pregnancy as happy as could be. I was two weeks late and decided i gave my body every chance to do this on it's own and decided medical intervention was needed... horrid long labor i ended up with a baby in the nicu with a heart problem..in the end i wish i wouldn't never knew if something was going to be wrong therefore my next baby i will not be having an ultrasound one min. everything is wrong next it's all right and in the end something was wrong... My experience only taught me there's a lot that's not known about the process of making a baby and how a baby develops and an ultrasound is only reliable to a certain point.. it didn't show that my child had a short umbiblical cord... so for me personally my next child i will take away as much bad outlooks as possible because that extra stress is so not needed!!
Ugh, yes!!!! I actually was barred from taking a family cruise while I was pregnant because Holland America lines "doesn't have an obstetrical unit on board." I was so crushed
It was a fully paid cruise and I wasn't due for months.... but I was barred at the last minute. Sigh. Cry.
Oh, and when I visited my in-laws they told me that I shouldn't drink coffee and hid all the mocha latte coffee mix from me. Mocha latte coffee mix caffeine content= negligible... but that still led to me having to furtively run to Starbucks for my daily latte like some junkie sneaking out to Needle Park.
My in-laws also told me that I should quit having sex with my husband because that could lead to harm (untrue!)... but they also made me eat sashimi and sushi at a seafood restaurant (which, uh, actually IS somewhat risky to eat while pregnant). My in-laws are weird, but I do love 'em
But I agree with this post. STOP BEING PARANOID ABOUT PREGNANT WOMEN!!! We are not made of glass! Sheesh, women have given birth in war zones.... I think a little coffee or a weekend camping trip is not going to hurt!
@rwiedenfeld - Wow.. that's awful. I hope your baby is all right now. And yeah, I agree that removing stressors from your life during pregnancy is a good thing.... but still go in for an ultrasound. It doesn't hurt the baby and it CAN help save a baby's life. I know your experience was bad, but ultrasounds have saved a lot of babies' lives. If the umbilical cord is wrapped around a baby's neck, you wouldn't know without an ultrasound. If you're carrying multiples, you really won't know without an ultrasound. If your baby is breech or your placenta is low... you'll need an ultrasound to find out.
Anyway, if you get pregnant again, please remember to get regular check-ups and ultrasounds. It really is better in the end.
I think some things are a little blown out of proportion (deli meats, lettuce, etc... really? If I did not get sick while I wasn't pregnant I am not going to get sick when I am, lol.)
However, there are other things that just are not preventable. I know c-section rates are high, and I believe that is because of pitocin. Our bodies do not need to speed up the labor process. In my case, my daughter's head was crooked in my pelvis and I was at 2 cm for 12 hours, so I had a c-section. I was induced, and I don't know if I had went naturally if her head would have been positioned differently or not. It is too late to worry about it now. While I hate the fact that I had to have a c-section, I wanted my baby out and wanted what was best for her.
It is easy for a lot of women to say "I'm pregnant, not sick." But after two miscarriages sometimes I feel like I do need to be more paranoid and careful. I am more worried now (about future pregnancies) than I was with my first child. Plus I have read horror stories, which make me even more panicky.
After 3 pregnancies, I have learned to just go with my instinct. I have always been right.
@phoebester@xanga - She's doing ok we go to children's every six months to get ecg, ekg, ultrasound and various other tests to make sure her heart is doing ok. She will have surgery when she's around 3 or 4 to fix the defect. She's one tough cookie....i have to say still dont know if i would get another ultrasound and agreed that ultrasounds are safe to use. i guess with my next one i'll decide then..
I had a very similar attitude during my first pregnancy and ended up with a very successful, albeit long, homebirth. 99% chance I would have wound up with a c-section had I delivered at the local hospital, if only for "failure to progress" and the fact that my water was broken for "too long". My son and I were safe and in wonderful shape the whole time. For my second delivery, we had moved halfway across the country and I was uncomfortable birthing 50 miles from the hospital, so I had my second baby in the hospital. Let's just say I got away with A LOT (thank-you tiny, rural community hospital that seemed pretty lenient in your policies!) and had a completely "unplugged" birth, I call it my homebirth in a hospital. Of course, I knew things could go wrong, but I didn't expect them to, especially the second time around.
I don't come on momaroo often, since I'm more than a couple years away from pregnancies and all those wonderful things. I'm so glad I clicked here though, because reading this gave me so much respect for the OP and mothers everywhere. I do believe every woman should make her own educated decision on how to birth HER baby.
However, I know there's a lot of disinformation out there, especially in America--especially when it comes to labor. There is much to learn about obstetrics and just by looking at the past fifty years (the late 1950's thalidomide which resulted in awful deformities in the infants and more recently, the 1990's cytotec to help induce labor which was detrimental to both the mother and baby) we have a long way to go.
I do know that pitocin is synthetic oxytocin used to mimick the mother's natural oxytocin (times ten, which is way more awful than mother nature intended), and mixing that with an epidural probably would cause stress on the baby.
I feel like there should be much more consideration on this instead of insurance companies wanting to make a lucrative business out of forcing C-sections. It's sad, because I've heard that the highest dose of oxytocin is after birth and the second is during breastfeeding for the mom to make that vital connection with her baby.