After I emailed my son's teacher, I didn't expect to hear from her until the next day. I was wrong! She gave me a call as soon as she read the email because she had her own concerns and wanted to reach out immediately. Her concerns? What I was told was completely different then what she has witnessed at school!
While he told me he didn't eat his lunch yesterday while on the field trip, his teacher let me know he ate everything. She also let me know that another boy in class dumped some of his lunch on the ground, and that my son gave him his Teddy Grahams because he was "full" and they would just be going in the garbage.
While he told me that he doesn't play with anyone at recess, his teacher let me know that has never been the case! She has seen him running around with several other boys, climbing and going down slides. She said that she's going to remind the class as a whole that they are a family and everyone should play together. She said she does not take name-calling lightly, and that we would be notified immediately if something like that ever happened.
As far as sitting alone at lunch, he sits at a table with all the packers. The reason some (sometimes most) of his lunch comes back home is because he is a slow eater (this we know) and is often talking with those around him.
So I'm surprised, and relieved. But now I wonder why he would lie about it?
We're working on that slow-eating thing. I'm sure he gets it from me, so I'm thinking of showing him just how fast I can eat. Not in a gross hot dog eating contest fashion, but that I don't let things distract me and can eat and get on to something fun.
I'm really glad we don't have a bullying problem, but it definitely made me look into it. With his speech apraxia, I know that kids are going to have a hard time understanding him. I just hope that they look past that and see he is just like them in every way imaginable, and to get ready to play because he loves to run around!
I'll be sharing some bullying resources in another post soon to help those who think they may be facing a situation. Don't be afraid to ask questions and to get in touch with your child's teacher - they spend so much time with our children, they learn things and see things about our children that we may not!
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Comments (6)
YAY so glad you figured it out :)
Great communication with the teacher!
He's probably NOT lying. He's telling you his perception of the events. Perhaps one day no one played with him. Or, they're not playing what HE wants. Or, he doesn't see what they're doing as playing. He might say he's sitting alone, when it's just the seat beside him was empty. Or, he wasn't with who he wanted to be with.
Or, the teacher is just not totally aware :) They're busy people and it would be a little surprising for her to know which kids ate ALL their lunch on a field trip, you know what I mean?
(I was surprised to read you had to send a "disposible" lunch---our schools are very big on "boomerang lunch"---EVERYTHING comes home, no garbage can be left at school (recycling is okay). For field trips, this is even more important!).
All of my kids had speech and language delays, the third one was very difficult to understand and I worried about how the kids would treat her. It was a very small class, so that was good, but she did often get fustrated. Time and emotional maturity help :)
Sounds like all is good for your boy. Just go with it. My kids were in their 30's when they told me bothersome stories about grade school, and it does hurt that they didn't tell me then. The teacher can foster great things in a classroom, and they work darn hard to, but some things do fall between the cracks. Just be supportive of your boy, and remind him he can talk to you about anything, anytime. Kids don't like to get other kids in trouble because the ramifications for them telling can and are usually worse than anything that happened at school.
Lies are terrible things. Whenever you lie you have to support it later. If you can teach your child to never lie he will have a full and wonderful life, full of his memories in later years cause it's tons easier to remember the truth about yourself than lies. Please consider. Φ ≡
@dw817@xanga - Ha easier said than done. Kids instinctively lie.
Mom: Did you just eat that whole bag of donuts?
Child:
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - I guess my Dad really lowered the boom on me when I lied. I remember he had placed a bunch of Fig Newton cookies up in a top cabinet. He caught me with my mouth full of them one time.
He asked if I was eating any, I said no, he insisted I eat them ALL then (and of course I never wanted them again).
Dad was very strict with me about lying, he wouldn't tolerate it. I guess when you're a small kid it's not so bad, it's when you get older it can be a problem cause you're supposed to be more trueful then.