Thursday, 13 September 2012
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Set Them Free
Remember how free we used to be? We were encouraged to make our own decisions. And it was ok if we made bad ones? Because if we made bad ones, we paid for them and learned to not do them again. We weren't always rewarded for doing the right things, but it made us feel good about ourselves. It worked just fine. We made our own choices.Well... most of them.
Mom always made us play outside. If it wasn't raining, we were not to be indoors.
What, you thought I was talking about society? No, I was talking about kids. We were outside. ALL. THE. TIME. We knew when to come home. If you lived in town, it was before the street lights came on. If you lived in the country, before the sun finished setting. And did we have fun back then!
A lot of you younger kids have no idea what I'm talking about. Stop and think. What are some of your greatest childhood memories? I bet you don't have a lot of them. Why? Because your childhood was wasted with video games, TV, internet, or an overprotective parent.
We had magical childhoods. I remember every winter, running around on the road (yeah, in the country we say road, not street) watching the snow fall. Watching it cover the stones and tar. Watching it cling to what was left of the cornstalks in the fields. Chasing the snowflakes in the wind. And the first second there was enough snow, down the hill we went on our sleds.
How many folks today would let their kids take a sled onto the road these days? Or even allow their kids outside while it snows?
Or how about the summer rains? You're outside. You've been running around all day. It's hot. Real hot. No bother going inside, because there's no central air. Run into the garage or basement and grab a freezer pop to try to cool off. Then the glorious sound of thunder. The smell of rain moving in (yes, rain has a distinct smell if you ever pay attention). Then the sound of the pitter patter of those giant drops of rain. You didn't run back inside. You didn't take cover. You ran TO the rain! It felt great. It was amazing how big some raindrops could get. You would run around like the kid down the block did earlier when he got his new sprinkler. And when the grass got wet enough... oh yeah... natural Slip-n-Slide! Run across the lawn, and slide on your belly! As long as the grass was wet enough, it worked great. You would end up soaking wet, grass stained, and it felt great to do so!
But not today.
Today, parents won't let their kids out in the cold, in fear of them getting sick. Or fear of a predator stealing them away. Of course, they would have to pry them from the electronics first. I can't think of any parent I know that would allow their kids to get their clothes grass-stained. They're all new, after all.
Not us. Our clothes were beat up. They were beat up for a reason. We had our play clothes, our school clothes, and our Church clothes. Today, they're all the same.
If you're not a parent and have no idea what I'm talking about, go to a local playground and watch. Ok, you might want to borrow someone's kid so you don't look like a creeper for this experiment. But just watch. Watch how parents have to follow their kiddies around, even though instead of stones or hard dirt, they now have nice, cushy underlayments for the playgrounds. Watch how they get upset if another kid bumps into theirs while running around.
That didn't happen with us. If we fell, we fell. We would learn to hold on better next time, or that we just weren't strong enough for the monkey bars yet. If some kid bumped us, we didn't cry and our moms didn't coddle us. We usually ignored it or even used it as an opportunity to introduce ourselves to the other kid and actually make friends. Now, parents pick out friends for their kids.
You just don't see kids riding around on their bikes anymore. Even though kidnappings by strangers hasn't really gone up, just the media coverage of it has. If you do see kids riding bikes, they're usually punks heading up to the shopping center to hop curbs. But hey, at least they're outside.
So parents, set your kids free. Don't just allow them outside, but force them outside. For heaven's sake, recall those magical moments from your childhood. Give your children those same moments.
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About the Author
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- From: grim_truth@xanga
- Name: Jeremy
- Location: New Jersey, United States
- About Me: I'm just a concerned citizen and patriot of our great country. I think it's high time a true normal person let everyone know how we feel, and how things should be. I do not claim to be an expert, however, I will not lie and any facts will be backed up with references and sources.
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Comments (10)
I definitely see the point here and there is a lot of truth to it. However, maybe it's because my kids are 6 and 3, I'm going to be out there supervising at least within earshot while they make those memories.
It just isn't the same world now that is was 25 years ago when I was a kid that age. I suppose this post is addressing "helicopter parenting." And I suppose in some ways I could be guilty as labeled.
But my kids can and do still go out and play with sticks, in the mud, in the rain (not in the thunder though), and I encourage memory making moments like tasting their first snowflake (I woke my 4 year old up at 11pm and got her out of bed for that one).
This is a great post.
When I was a kid, we went sliding down the big hill in our yard during a downpour, dug a tunnel almost all the way through a snow drift, went "mudding", rode our bikes everywhere, and when we moved to town, shoveled off the roof, making our own hill, and went sledding from the peak to the sidewalk. We buried each other in the sand, went a bit too fast in our Go-Kart, knocked down a cornfield together, played baseball in the front yard, swam in a horse tank turned swimming pool, lit off fireworks for months each year, went pheasant hunting on Thanksgiving, and much more! It was great.
I'm only 23, but it feels like forever ago! And all that good stuff happened before I was 12, except sledding off the roof... Thanks for the blast from the past.
I'm 23 and I had a vastly different childhood from my parents. I went riding my bike up and down my road, but my dad was always outside in the garden keeping an eye on me, and I was never allowed to the shops alone until I was eleven or so (mostly because the way from my house to the shops involved busy roads, traffic and a lot of speeding cars).
I honestly don't think the world is as safe as it used to be, and not because of kidnapping or anything like that. Roads are dangerous, levels of crime have gone up (muggings, robberies, hit and runs) and parents are generally more aware of dangerous situations. No way would I let my children run off for the day aged seven or eight and tell them to be home by dinner like my dad's parents used to do with him and his sister.
In reference to the OP - some of that is grossly exaggerated. Come on, parents who won't allow their kids to get grass stains? Getting messy is all part of childhood - I remember coming home with muddy knees and cuts on my legs all the time as a child, and my neighbours young kids come home looking exactly the same way. And when it snows here, everyone goes to the big hill in the park and sleds, everyone runs around and has snowball fights and builds snowmen - a lot of people are guilty of looking back on their childhood with rose-tinted glasses.
You stole my idea for a post!!!!
Well, sort of. I read an interesting article a while ago http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-505125_162-57455011/why-my-child-will-be-your-childs-boss/
It's about an American Mom's expirience in Switzerland where kids are encouraged to walk to school(with no adults), and to play with saws.
I think allowing kids more is very important...not just bc of making good memories, even though that definitely is a point. I wouldn't let kids make ALL their expiriences and learn their morals alone...I would teach them my rules (such as not hitting), and encourage them to talk to me about things and not fear me.
Anyway, I think the most important point of the article is that kids are proud when they accomplish something on their own like an adult.
I had an awesome childhood too. From the age of 7 I was able to be alone for hours and take care of myself. from age 11 I wasn't even asked questions anymore (only about homework) and kept my part of the house clean, met friends when I wanted, slept when I wanted and ate when and what I wanted (of the stuff that was there).
Now (or should I say "here") people would scream "NEGLECCCT!!!" or "How CAN one let a 7 yr old alone, they set the house on FIRE! " (because after all all yr olds are the same, and they now all kids,their cognitive abilities and personalities). I always held back writing about my expiriences because I feared that some do-gooders would try to make me believe I was abused when I wasn't. It wasn't that my mother was irresponsible or pushed me hard to grow up. She tried to get me babysitters but I succesfully made them dislike me. I was sent to after school care for a year (6-7) but hated their mindless crafts.
So, she slowly let me prove myself, taught me cooking, made sure I knew where to go and who to call if something happens, and let me have my freedom. I knew it would be strapped away, if anything bad would happen due to my refusal to listen or just being dumb. Lesson: actually acting like an adult gives you the freedom to live like one.
There was one thing that was almost traumatic though, and that was other adults (namely the day care lady who was our neighbor and wanted me for her stupid projects) underestimating me, pitying and confusing me.
Your post raises some incredibly important issues about parenting today. It is worth giving kids some measure of freedom so that they can develop that independent spirit and creativity that's at the heart of what makes America great!
It's different now, because we have to be on guard all the time. But I agree, some time outdoors is good for kids. Unless it's fire season in my area. Then we avoid it like the plague. My daughter never did fit in with many other kids, and would find a place at school to curl up to try to keep warm, and pull a book out of her coat. I think there are exceptions to every rule. I did not make her go outside unless I was with her and we were walking around the neighborhood with brother talking about her books. Now, at 36, she's still an indoor girl, reading, or working on a thesis. You just can't put them all in the same mix like cookie cutters, even though health wise it might be good for them.
I haven't noticed this at all, but maybe I am just more oblivious than other parents. I really feel like you are lumping a few extreme stereotypes together and applying them to a generation as a whole.
Though, I would probably be more of a helicopter parent if I did not have government health insurance for the kids through my state. One of my friend's made slightly too much money to get health insurance and her child's broken arm (caused by another child running into her) cost her about six thousand dollars. Suffice to say, I do not blame her for being concerned about playground safety.
I've noticed this. I'm always saying "When I was her age I was riding my bike through town." It seems that parents are babying their kids and keeping them indoors in sterile environments, lol. I let my 13 month old go outside to play in a mud puddle last week and everyone acted like that was gross and trashy. It's not like my kid is filthy and yucky all the time. I took her clothes off, let her play, then gave her a bath. What is the problem?! My brothers and I would go hours without coming home and we were fine. We played in the woods, in the CREEK! With the bacteria and bugs! Do kids even know what a creek is now? We used old shoes and stumps to play baseball, played hide and seek in the woods... I think we are making our kids less creative as well. I don't want my kids to play video games and watch tv all day. They don't need to stay inside and play with the most educational learning toy. Everything is being given to them and we are raising kids who aren't good problem solvers!
Ok my rant is over. But I also want to say of course it is not safe to just let your kids go play in the highway. We lived in the country. You have to find your own ways to let them play with supervision.
I wouldn't go as far as to say I'm a "helicopter parent," but I do supervise my children when they are outside. Why? Because they are 6, 3 and 2. They, in my opinion, are not old enough to go outside and play by themselves. I do worry about them getting kidnapped, but that risk is lower on my list than the more likely scenarios of them wandering off or getting hit by a car in the parking lot. Call me crazy, but I truly believe some children are opportunists (mine fit this category to a T). Mommy and Daddy tell them they can't do something and they listen when Mommy and Daddy are around, but as soon as the parentals are away, the kids make a mad dash for the parking lot.... I also worry about some of the older kids who live around here. They are mean to the little ones, and since there isn't anyone out there to tell them to behave themselves, the small kids get beat up. Call me crazy again if you'd like, but I prefer my children not come in with injuries inflicted by the unsupervised bullies.
I do, however choose to sit on the bench while my kids run around. I'm not following behind them hovering and freaking out over every little thing. I let them run, jump, climb and test the waters on the equipment like the monkey bars and the curvy ladder. I let my kids dig in the dirt and make mud pies. I don't care if they get grass stains or have dirt on their faces. I have a simple philosophy: As long as they're not hurting anyone, damaging property, engaging in dangerous activity or bleeding profusely, let 'em be!
i'm scared of getting lost mostly. if i have an smart phone and a gps app in it, i'll go to tons of places