When I saw the story about this woman who became a surrogate for her daughter (and gave physical birth to her own grandson) it amazed me. It also made me think about my own family.
One of my sisters had a truly (horrifyingly) traumatic birth with her first child. A lot of damage was done to her reproductive and urinary system by totally incompetent medical care. After there was finally healing (and reconstructive surgery) from that, there was lasting damage that would compromise future pregnancies, and there was question if becoming pregnant ever again was a viable option.
My mother was in her mid 50's at the time, and was not yet menopausal. There was talk of her being a surrogate for my sister and her husband.
The reasoning was because my sister's cervix was incompetent to hold a pregnancy, much of it had been lost in the damage done. She still had viable eggs and every other reproductive competency, but the risk of a mid-late miscarriage was high. My mother was still in every way capable of carrying a baby in her womb. If she were carrying my sister's embryo, the eggs would not be "old" so why should the pregnancy be considered any more high risk than any other IVF pregnancy?
They didn't end up going through with it (and my sister did carry another baby to 36 weeks with medical help) but the conversation was one I'm sure no one ever expected to have. It was a wonderful gift to have offered, and when I read the story of the family that actually followed-through and welcomed their baby in this way, it touched me in a special way.
What do you think of this kind of familial surrogacy? Could you ever do it? Do you think there might be any favoritism shown to a grandchild physically born from the grandmother?
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Comments (15)
What a special and unique relationship between a mother and daughter. This is a cute story!
I think it is wonderful that she offered to help her daughter. I don't know if I could--I think I would be able to do it for my sister, or my brother and his wife, but probably not some long lost cousin who I just met 2 months ago. And maybe for my really close friends. Obviously, this is a pretty unique circumstance, but I don't think there will be any favoritism towards this grandson because she carried him in her womb, I think she would love any grandchild of hers just the same.
I think this was a wonderful, selfless act. It gives a whole new meaning to a mother's love! I commend this woman and all others who become surrogates because I know I could never be strong enough to do so. I would struggle with carrying a child inside of me, giving birth, and having to hand the baby over to someone else to raise. Call me selfish, but I just couldn't do it.
Funny story: Well, maybe it's not so funny, but this post reminded me of a conversation that took place a few years ago at my family's Mother's Day dinner. My brother is in a long term relationship with a woman in her early 30s. She has 2 children from previous relationships, and due to her age, the ages of her children, and a few health problems, her and my brother have decided not to have children together. This makes my mom super mad, and she is always trying to change their minds. My brother's gf explained to my mom at this dinner that due to her health problems, she might not even be able to carry another baby. This was a poor choice of words because my mother pounced! She said: "That's not a problem! Rachael's body handles pregnancy well, she can carry a baby for you!" I just about fell out of my chair! I love my brother, but carrying a baby for him goes beyond what I'd be willing to do. Although I was seething, I decided to make light of it by declaring I was not about to become anyone's Rent-A-Womb.
Just realized I didn't answer the all the questions from the OP haha. I doubt the grandmother would love or favor this baby any more than any other grandchild of her's. They might share a special bond and it would be a really sweet story for this little boy to hear later on, but that would probably be the extent of it.
Thats so sweet :,)
i would def do it for anyone in my family as long as none of the baby way mine (her eggs and his sperm only) i would actually do it for anyone but sadly i cant. :( i had really high blood pressure so i am not a good candidate but i would if i could
The gift of hope and new life. What could be better? Glad your sister eventually had her own child!
That is wonderful! The only person a mother can trust to love her unborn child as much as her is her own mother. That was so nice of her to do that for them. I'm sure there will always be a special connection between the grandmother and grandson but that doesn't mean there will be favoritism. Some grandparents are better at concealing favoritism than others, lol.
I think it is an amazing thing to do for someone (be it sister, daughter, cousin, friend) and very selfless. when my sister was going through infertility issues I told her, that if she was still having these problems and wanted to at a later date (they weren't ready to "give up" trying to conceive) i would gladly become a surrogate for her. we have that kind of relationship where she is my best friend, my confidant, and my sister. blessedly, she conceived a year later and had my adorable niece and then 2 years later we were preggo together (her w/ another girl and me w/ my son) and she told me later that the thought that no matter what she could have a child either in her womb or mine got her through the hard moments!
It would be an amazing gift to give your child, and yourself as well as your family. If my daughter had toruble and I as able to, I would do it for my daughter as well.
That is an incredibly selfless gift to give to someone. I'm not sure I would be able to, considering how increasingly difficult my deliveries were. But if I could, I would do that for my daughter.
That's cool. I think I would only be able to do it for my sis, cousin, a close friend, etc.. Don't think I could ever let anybody carry a baby for me. I would much rather adopt the children people have 'discarded'. I think, however unintentional, they might feel they would have a say in how I would raise the baby.
I think that is a nice thing to have done.
I am sure she would try not to show favoritism to the grandchild she carried, but how could she avoid having extra love in her heart for a grandchild she carried and birthed herself? And I don't see anything wrong with that. :) What a sweet story.
I would not be willing to carry a baby for someone else. But I think that it is great that others are willing to do such things. I am too selfish. I wouldn't be able to carry a child through all the discomfort and pain, only to give it away. Those who can do so are much more selfless than I am.
I do think that in the situation that the grandmother might show some favoritism. But That's ok. It doesn't mean that she doesn't love her other grandchildren. It just means that she has an extra special bond with one of them.