Monday, 27 August 2012
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My First Bully Was My 1st Grade Teacher
This is a post from our reader Ally.
I'm writing this because I think it's important that parents talk to their children about these things. Letting them know it's not okay for an adult to bully them or talk down to them just because they're an elder. Sometimes it's so unexpected that I think parents forget to say anything on the subject. So here's my story.I was a really shy child for most of my life. In school I never talked or acted out, I always behaved and did my work to the best of my ability. I loved kindergarten and that made me love school, until my first day of first grade. I had no idea what was about to happen every single day for that entire school year.
I was bullied. Not by a classmate, not by someone in a different grade, but by my very own teacher. Her name was Mrs. Huck.
She seemed really nice at first and I was excited because my kindergarten teacher was really nice to me. It started when lunch time came around. I was used to eating in the classroom, and when she said it was time for lunch, I grabbed my lunch box and went back to my seat. I took a thermos of soup out but didn't open it yet. She came over to me and grabbed my thermos and lunch box from the desk, then screamed at me that we ate in the lunch room now. There was a sink in the corner of the room, where she went over and poured my soup down the drain. She threw out everything else that was in the lunch box then gave it back to me and told me to go get in line so we can go to the lunch room. I remember all the other kids standing and watching, none of them saying anything but one of my friends hugging me when I got in line. Mrs. Huck yelled at her and told her I wasn't a baby, that I can take care of myself.
From that day on there was always something else I was in trouble for. I was screamed at for trivial things. I didn't put enough spacing between my words when I wrote. Mrs. Huck grabbed my hand and made me use my pinky every single time I wrote to space my words. If I didn't do this every single time, even though I was perfectly capable of leaving enough space without using my pinky, I was yelled at. She made me sit in the corner and would give me a zero for that day's participation grade. The same happened if I was writing a word, like "little" and didn't use one line to cross both the T's. Little things like this that she would make into a big deal so she could punish me.
One day she was going to read to us on the rug, but she dumped my desk out and made me clean it the entire time while she read to everyone else, even though my desk was dirty. She argued with me one day and told me my eyes were black, not blue. I cut myself on something in class and she refused to let me use napkins to wipe up the blood or go to the nurse, so I had to use my jeans to wipe it off. She made me pass out papers one day and she grabbed them from me and pushed me because she said I did it wrong.My parents had no idea that this was happening because I didn't know it wasn't okay for an adult to do this. My mom didn't find out until the summer school had ended because my friend Necole told her mom that Mrs. Huck made me cry every day. She called my mom and then my mom called the school. Apparently Mrs. Huck had retired, but my mom was able to talk to my teacher for 2nd grade before school started. My 2nd grade teacher was definitely the nicest I ever had.
Also I feel I got some sort of revenge because a few weeks before school let out, Mrs. Huck refused to let me go to the nurse when I told her I was sick. I threw up on her.
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Comments (45)
my 1st grade teacher bullied me too.
Wow. That is just unfathomable that a teacher would act like that. Why would she pick on you? Did you have an older sibling that she had before you? You'd hope that would not matter but sometimes it makes them look at the kids differently.
I know there are certain events that happened when I was that age and some are clear as day, because they upset me so much. One was in first grade when my friend did something, but I can't remember what it was, and the teacher grabbed her arm and pulled her into the bathroom. She came out bawling and holding her arm. Now I know this girl, even to this day, is really dramatic. So I don't know if she really hurt her arm or if she was just being a crybaby. Another time was in music class in 3rd grade. This girl kept talking to me, so I answered her. The teacher said we couldn't do the little song and dance because we were talking. That was the first time I had ever been yelled at by any teacher. She kept me after class and yelled at me saying I never sang or listened and always gave her dirty looks. I know for a fact that I never did that. I always listened and did what I was told. So why she would say this I still don't understand. I want to go track her down and ask her what the hell she was talking about, lol. Of course I went into my classroom sobbing so my teacher called my mom and they both agreed I would never do that. My mom talked to the music teacher and she insisted that is what I did. This still bothers me for some reason. I just didn't do that. My mom thinks she confused me with another student, since she only saw us once a week.
Thanks for posting this. I hope I remember this when my kids go to school, so they know that if anyone, even an adult, upsets them or is mean to them they need to tell me.
This is sad and unfortunately it happens. When I was in kindergarten, my teacher was very mean. I don't remember as much detail as you but I do remember that she yelled at me for not doing well on a test. I remember her yelling at my friend as well. She told us "You don't GET to have free time today! No playtime for you! You and Keke can go sit at your DESKS with your heads DOWN" I remember my friend started to cry and I told her it was okay and not to cry. My teacher then told me "Don't talk to her. You are BOTH in trouble for not getting a gold star on your papers." It was ridiculous. Also, I didn't always pay attention in class and she made me go see the school counselor about it. She told me and my mom that there was something wrong with me because I would get distracted. The counelor told me that i was perfectly fine. She was nuts. I remember she told me to massage her back one day when she said it was sore. Strange but I didn't know that was an odd thing to ask back then. I also remember one time where I swallowed my water wrong and then started coughing and spit it out on the floor everywhere. She yelled at me and made me clean it up. Some people should not be teachers out there..
my god... she must have been a miserable cow living a wildly pathetic life to take it out on a grade 1 student!! I'm glad you threw up on her
Yikes! Horrible when the teachers are the bullies. My first grade teacher was nice even though I had trouble adjusting she tried to help.
Way to go with the vomit gun! Hope you got her in the eye
Just curious... but was Ms. Huck an older teacher? If she retired the year that you entered 2nd grade, then she must have been in her sixties at least. It sounds very much like she was suffering the early effects of Alzheimers. Alzheimers sufferers act VERY much like the way you're describing the way this woman acted.... irrational mood swings, abusive behavior without any reason behind it, screaming fits, etc.
Still... not any excuse for the fact that the school administration continued to let this woman be in charge of young children.
Thanks so much for posting this. It's still vitally important that young children understand the difference between acceptable and UNacceptable behavior even with authority figures and adults.
props for throwing up on the teacher but, definitely not cool to be bullied from her.
Wow. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It's one thing to be bullied, it's a whole different thing for that bully to be someone who is suppose to be protecting you from bullies. Thanks for posting this. I never imagined that teachers could be bullies.
I'm sorry you dealt with this horrible teacher. Whether or not it was her last year teaching, it is inexcusable what she did to you. You were a young child, and she was the adult. She didn't act as such, especially towards young children. It is a good thing your friend mentioned to her mom that the teacher bullied you. I could imagine that most of your classmates, like you, didn't know what the teacher was doing something wrong at that age.
Really awful. Some people just shouldn't be teachers if they can't be caring and compassionate.
Same with doctors, too. They are supposed to adhere to the Hippocratic oath of caring, compassion and just generally WANTING to help people and not themselves. Nowadays doctors are so fucking selfish and just want the big fat paycheque and cushy lifestyle that accompanies being a doctor.
I should know; one of my cousins is a doctor and she's an evil incarnate. No one can understand how the Hell she is able to help people when she'd sell her own mother if the price was good enough.
My first grade teacher was cruel to me as well. That's because I told my parents she was falling asleep in class. That's all I remember. Her falling asleep. Me being terrified.
@Dark_Gem@xanga - I've had some awful doctors, the worst was a woman who I went to see as a last resort, because I had gone to 3 other doctors and no one cared to figure out why I had extreme weight-loss, excruciating back pain and looked like a zombie. She took one look at me and said "Get off whatever drugs you are on, I'm not going to give you painkillers for your FIX, gain weight." I finally convinced her to check my lungs and she said they were clear, 3 days later I nearly died because my right lung was completely blocked with pneumonia and zero air could get in.
My grade 5 teacher was my bully, she purposely "Lost" my assignments and would make me do them again during recess, school dances, and field trips, some I had to re-do 3 times! Science was taught by a gr.8 teacher who she was friends with and suddenly I was failing tests, when wrote the correct answers, turns out he was ERASING my answers and writing in wrong ones. It got so bad that I had my mom sign my work and hand it in for me.
Wow. My kindergarten and first grade teachers were both terrible. And it definitely didn't help that I was attending a Christian school at the time. Once in kindergarten we were drawing pictures. Everyone else drew pretty things like rainbows and stick figure families. I drew a spider because there was one clinging to the wall. My teacher called my mom in for a conference, said that I needed better religious guidance and that children my age shouldn't be drawing evil pictures like that. I asked her to help me tie my shoes once, and she said I was old enough to do it myself. When I walked away and promptly fell on my face, she yanked me up and yelled at me for being so clumsy. So I plopped my muddy shoe right on her lap and asked her again to tie it for me. She finally did. In first grade, I made the mistake of asking how we knew there was a God if we couldn't see him. I was denied recess for the entire year, and they even tried to hold me back for a year until I was "properly educated in the Christian ways." My mom finally took me out of that school.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm glad she retired before she could hurt anyone else.
@chronic_masticator@xanga - Wow. I'm just sitting here with my mouth open in shock. Spiders are evil??? I can't even figure out where a Christian would get that idea. (I know several, even conservative ones, and I can't imagine what would make them decide spiders were evil. After all, they believe God made them, don't they?)
@EccentricSiren@xanga - That school was full of nutjobs. We also had to sit in the auditorium for three hours every other day while some sweaty fat guy yelled at us, saying that if we were bad children the mouth of hell would open up beneath us and swallow us whole. I'm just glad my mom took me out of there before they completely indoctrinated me. It's probably the only good thing she's ever done for me.
That sounds like it was really terrible! I'm sorry you went through that.
I actually know where you're coming from though. I had the same teacher for fourth grade and fifth grade. She was great when she was our fourth grade teacher. She was a beast as a fifth grade teacher though. In fourth grade she would read to use. She was really nice. In fifth grade, she started hanging out with the other fifth grade teacher. I sat near the front and I heard her whispering to the other teacher that we were doing a horrible job on more than one occasion while we were all doing busy work. They used to sit at the desk and laugh at our work on assignmens too. She started targeting me a little after the school year picked up. She would yell at me for not looking directly at her when she was talking. I would get in trouble for trying to hurry down to my bus after school was let out (for fear that I would miss it). She constantly told my mother that I need anger management. I was shy, quiet, and very withdrawn in class. I wasn't angry and I only started acting out after she started yelling at me for stupid things. I couldn't understand what made her so mad at me. She was constantly separating me from groups of people and when we had to watch a video about the reproductive system, they put the two classes together, divided them between girls and boys, and I had to sit in the middle between them. Every day at school she would tell me that my assignments were poorly written (handwriting wise), she would tell me that I wasn't good at math or reading. She would tell me that I needed to work on my cursive. She would force me to sit silently in the dimly lit room and work on my cursive. It never got any better. I'm just not good at cursive. She made fun of the short stories that I had to write for class. She was just awful. I don't know what I did to her to make her so upset with me.
I told my mom about what was going on. She talked to this teacher several times, but nothing changed. The only other fifth grade teacher in the school was the one that that teacher was friends with. That woman would glare at me from the front of the classroom when she would waltz in. School was a nightmare. I never trusted another teacher to be fair or kind of me ever again. I'm in college now and I still avoid talking to the professors. I've blocked out that evil woman's name, thankfully, but that doesn't erase the memories. I've never felt more low and awful my entire life than I did while I was sitting in that classroom.
Its a real problem. What you went through sounds so much worse than mine. 1st grade is awfully early to be going through such abuse. I am so sorry to hear that that happened to you. I think it's wonderful that you've decided to share your story and I hope some parents out there take heed. They have to look out for that sort of thing because it can do so much harm to a child.
The graphic is as sad as the situation
Holy shit. You just described my sixth grade teacher. Mrs. Smith.
She was more emotionally abusive to me. [i.e ignoring the fact other kids were bullying me & even SIDING with them on occasion.]I was made to clean out my desk, because other students stuffed it full of trash. I was the one sent to the principals office if I dared to stand up for myself to a bully in class.
She turned a blind eye on me & allowed other kids to treat me horribly, if she wasn't partaking in it herself. A waste of space, some people become teachers because they want that control. I fully believe Katherine [Kitty] Smith was the fat unpopular kid when she was my age of eleven. Becoming a sixth grade teacher & actively participating & ignoring the pain I was in due to other students, allowed her to relieve her pain & be in control of it. Disgusting.
When I was in 9th grade, I was allowed to write a letter to any teacher I ever had, for Teacher Appreciation Day. I chose Mrs. Smith. In it, I explained to her who I was, in case she didn't recognize the name & I thanked her for being such a horrid teacher & quite frankly a bully herself. That what she put me through made me stronger & that I hoped she never ever put another child what she put me through, because if they were any lesser in the strength department, they wouldn't survive.
I hope she read it.
I'm really glad you brought this up. It's too bad your friend didn't know to mention it sooner.
I had a similar experience in kindergarten, although she didn't ever push me around.
My Kindergarten teacher told us all that, if we weren't good, she would bring her big meat grinder to school and grind us up in it. This threat was made more credible by the fact that we knew her family owned the local butcher shop. Me in particular she picked on for sucking my thumb -- every time she saw me doing it, no matter what we were supposed to be working on, she'd come and stand in front of me and ask if my thumb tasted like chocolate, strawberry, etc. We had bathroom breaks alphabetically and once I asked to go early b/c I couldn't wait. She said No and I lost it at my desk . After that she made me go and stand in the corner of the restroom while everyone else went, "just in case."
It seems too often that teachers are the ones that teach bullying :'(
I had a bully gym teacher. Her words stopped me from doing so much as a child.
I am saddened by the number of people that are bullied by their teachers. I don't remember stuff like that happening until college. Parents should definitely tell their children that no one has the right to pick on them, not even adults. I know I started telling my son the first time I trusted him to be cared for the a teacher. I am sorry you were picked on. I am sorry you got sick but, I hope there was a lot of really vile smelling vomit.
Wow that sounds absolutely terrible :( I'm so sorry you had to go through that. In my grade school life, my teachers were always my protectors from the bullies, and thats how it should be! Thank you for posting, very enlightening indeed.
I had an awful time from 1st grade to 4th grade with my teachers. I was picked on by classmates and teachers alike. Told I was stupid and should give up by one teacher. Another teacher said I wouldn't have any friends because I was overweight. I had severe migraines since as long as I've been alive, awful ones that make me pass out or vomit. My second grade teacher refused to believe children could even get a headache, so she would force me to run all 15 minutes of recess, twice a day. As if that would cure a migraine.
I was the same way. Very quiet, kept to myself, and shy. Why was I the source of ridicule from peers and mentors alike? I'll never know.
Oh, one day I had food poising, while in that second grade classroom. The teacher refused to let me go to the nurse. She actually sat me in a corner of the room and gave me a trash can. Told me to keep working and be quiet. What did I do? Get up, run to the front of the room and projectile vomit across 14 feet onto her desk. I still hold that as my favorite private school memory.
That's just...terrible. I want to be a teacher. Just declared my second major in Middle grades education (4-8).
I can't imagine ever being so hateful that I would abuse my students..or any kid. I wonder why some people would bother going through all the schooling, knowing that they will one day be working with kids all day, every day, and not know themselves well enough to see that they're not cut out for it.
I'm speechless. What a despicable excuse for a human being... Those are strong words that I don't toss around lightly.
I lucked out when it came to my teachers. At least, up until middle school. I only had problems out of classmates and fellow students prior to my junior high year. My shop teacher in particular was a vicious man.