No I have no daughters, but the inherent sexism of the mainstream media is frustrating to me nonetheless. The past two weeks have seen the amazing feats of the world's best female athletes. Whether they won any medals or simply participated in the Olympic games, their dedication to their sport and the way in which they run their lives is an example to all young women (and yes men too). But what did we get instead of discussing these women in healthy and intelligent terms? We got....
Gabby Douglas' hair debate and
Lolo Jones is too feminine to be an athlete.... Sometimes the media and people have too much to say and not enough intelligent brain cells to use to process their own stupidity. Yes I am using a mean word to describe these people (oowww bad me). The following is also not a discussion of "politics" but a discussion of the media's distortion of a woman's value and self-worth.
Gabby Douglas is an amazing gymnast and at 16-years-old won the gold medal for best woman gymnast in the entire world. Who cares what her hair looked like when she was preforming and quite frankly who cares what her hair looks like when she is giving interviews? She's 16! What did you look like at 16? Not everything that a person does is superficial. It is fine and dandy to worry about your outward appearance, but to ignore the magnificence of Gabby's talent and accomplishments is inane. Do we tell our daughters, hey go be that neurosurgeon but remember when you are preforming brain surgery make sure to go to the beauty parlor beforehand so you always look like you came out of a Hollywood movie.....
Then on the other hand you have Lolo Jones, who does take more of a glam view of her appearance and quite frankly has done some modeling too. But because she didn't medal, even though she is the world record holder in her event, some loser-in-life who writes for
The New York Times decided that if she didn't care about her appearance (read self-promotion) so much she would have done better at the Games. I can't decide if the author just doesn't' like the fact that Lolo is a devout Christian and still a virgin or just mad because beautiful women like Lolo won't give him the time of day.
Then you have two of Lolo's teammates (and I use the term loosely), bad mouthing her on television. Instead of standing up for her, in the wake of that nasty NYT's piece, the two that won the medals in the event said that they were the ones who represent athleticism and the USA not Lolo. And yes, these two are going to wonder why they will never get endorsements despite their medal wins. Someone should just give them a copy of their "catty interviews" so they can remind themselves that no company wants a "bitch" to represent their products.
No, of course I don't know either Gabby or Lolo. I don't know who they are in real life nor quite frankly do I care who they are at this point. But what they represent to young girls is the reality that a young woman can be dedicated and persevere in the competitive world of international sports. That one athlete keeps her "kinky hair" and the other one doesn't is the most ridiculous and misdirected debates I have read about in recent weeks.
How are our daughters going to feel free to accomplish their goals and their sense of themselves when the world consistently looks for reasons to knock them down no matter how amazing and accomplished they are? Yes the reason they are attacked could also be because they are amazing and others are trying to make themselves known and relevant by denigrating the accomplished....jealousy as we see can also rear its ugly green head (just look no farther than Lolo Jones' teammates for an example I suppose).
And yes, from the selfish perspective of a mother of sons, where is the daughter-in-law of the future who will love and cherish my child going to come from if she doesn't have the right to be anything and anyone she wants without derision and supercilious comments? Where are my sons going to find a woman who is strong, self-reliant and can persevere, if women with strong personalities are denigrated and denied their self-respect? Where are my sons going to find the right woman to be a helpmate if all the media wants women to think about is their hair, their nails and their clothes but then demolishes them if these women incorporate a feminine appearance into a successful career and life?
In a world where we strive to make sure that our daughters are self-sufficient people there is always the reminder that there are still creeps out there who quite frankly need a really good psychiatrist to help them with their "women hating issues". The "Our Gang" boys were a cute group from a by-gone era representative of male chauvinism and archaic views of women...sadly it seems some of these attitudes apparently still exist and the even sadder fact is that these ideas are even perpetrated by other women as well.
Have you dealt with this issue on a personal level? How does it effect your parenting? Do you think this is a generational problem?
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Comments (8)
ugh I even get this feeling being a 23yr old woman tbh. Can you do NOTHING right? Is there ALWAYS a snippy, overanalyzing comment on everythig? and Gabbys hair looked normal to me what the hell.
I think the best we can do is teaching children critical thinking, and telling them that many people talk a lot of shit, and that this shit gets popular in the media because people also love getting caught up on it, wether they agree or not.
I don't think this culture is only created by men, even though its roots probably lie in the idea that men care about looks very much (which, dear men, is not something I predominately heard from women). Personally, I always had the feeling that regardless of what will happen you always have to be pretty to be respected by men, or at least that a lack thereof gives you a big disatvantage. About 90% of people who called me ugly and partially even predicted lower chances in life for me were men or boys, but most people who talked dismissively about feminine women with make up and nice hair were women.
I don't understand either debate. Lolo Jones looks like the other women competing ...
Also, Gabby's hair is irrelevant to her skill. It is typical that they would judge women for their appearance. That only shows how feeble critics' minds work.
Let 'em stay mad. These women, every single one, medal or no medal, have accomplished a great feat!
To be fair, there is also the great debate over whether the guy on the winning rowing team was aroused or not. People are just jerks. They don't like to let anyone have their moments without trying to tear them down over petty bs.
Honestly... I agree with the article about Lolo Jones. She has a history of poor performance in the Olympics and you'll notice that she once again failed to win.
Since, let's be honest, very few people in this country give a DAMN about athletes (especially, come on... women's 100m hurdles???) who don't win or do something illegal... people care about her for one reason and one reason only... the way she looks.
Sometimes athletes are hot... and people are going to notice... and people are going to talk about it. But when people pay more attention to an athlete because they're hot than they do to the athletes who actually WIN - there's something wrong.
Also - I HATE women who pose nude and then say "But it's okay because I'm a virgin/I'm a Christian/I'm being artistic." Stop trying to pretend it's any less sexual than when everyone else poses nude.
Don't get me wrong, the Gabby thing is totally uncalled for... but the Lolo thing... I totally agree with the article.
You're right about the portrayal of women in the media and there is a definite attempt to keep groups of people in chains, emotionally and mentally most of all. I can only implure you and others out there to do one thing: Shut it off, shut it out. When we stop listening, such voices lose the only power they have.
Oh I respect those women immensely. I've nothing but good to say about them. But whoever decides their Olympic wear needs to be whacked. I don't enjoy watching nearly naked women playing sand volleyball, and this year was the first in my memory that the women divers had their complete buttocks showing. They don't have to disrobe these women to have the entire world respect and admire them. As long as they insist on disrobing women for the world to see, you're going to have sexist behaviors and comments.
um... the entire thing is superficial. who can run and jump and twirl around the best of everybody,,, woohoo. it isn't sexism, it's just shallowness. you're never going to find a male athlete held up for anything other than his ability to put a ball through a hoop.. or run down a field with it without getting knocked down. wow, that contributes to society.
life is geared toward the beautiful and socially acceptable and it's the shallow things that make them so that people care about. get over it, move on; live a life worth living. this kind of thing is why i don't watch the olypics, or sports or.. well pretty much anything.