IMO (and my Dr's opinion) the BMI = load of bunk.
According to it I should weight about 155lbs.,. If i weighed that I would be sick.
Mr Dr and I determined a healthy goal weight for me based on my height and body build (by the way BMI does not take body build, muscle mass, or bone density into account).
But I found the easiest way to avoid junk is to just not buy the stuff. If its not in the house, I can't eat it. If i don't have my debit card with me while out with the kids, then I can't but stuff i dont need. Solves many problems.

 You have to find time to work out.  When my son was younger, I used to do use him in my exercises and he just thought I was playing with him.  For example, he used to love (and still loves) when I use him to do leg lifts.  He also really liked this move.  I have tapes, but I have the tendency to get bored.  It was more fun to figure out how to incorporate my son into my workout.  I don't know where you live, but if I had known about the hiking trails my son and I take everyday, I would have purchased a jogging stroller and had a blast jogging with him. My son didn't like being in the stroller when we were shopping, but if I was taking him on a walk, he loved it. I would vary the speed and direction that I moved in.  I did squats and lunges while pushing him.  If he looked really bored, I would take a break, take him out and we'd chase a ball together, I'd give him a leaf or some other piece of nature and describe it to him etc.

As far as the food is concerned.  You have to stop running to the fridge whenever you get a break.  I know it is easier said than done.  Getting healthy snacks is probably a good idea for both you and your son.

You might not have the time to exercise, but you DO have the time to NOT be standing front of the fridge grazing on Chinese food, ice cream, etc. Have you tried jogging with your kid in the stroller? In any case, instead of spending those three minutes eating food, you can get a jump rope, sprint around, do jumping jacks, or run in place. It should help give you a quick burst of energy, and the small stuff adds up.

You just need motivation to actually stick with it. After having two kids... I didn't want to "look" like I had two kids. I signed up for the Y and it was actually really nice for me because I put my kids in the childcare there and had an hour JUST to myself. Also, I wanted to be a good role model. I want my daughters to know that you can still be fit after being a mom. You can still do things for yourself after being a mom. That one was a hard one for me, because after my first child I always felt guilty leaving her to do my own thing. But, it has rewards! I can play soccer with my daughter and not feel totally exhausted after. 

Take your kids for a walk in the stroller (when it gets cool), buy exercise DVD's if you can't afford the gym. Write down everything you eat, which can really help you realize how much you are actually eating. I lost the most weight by not snacking during the day. If I was really hungry (and I always eat when I am hungry, I would never starve myself) I only fruits, a granola bar, etc. 
Eating because you are bored or just to feel good for those few minutes is a waste. You (at least I do) feel so much worse after a binge. 

My husband has the same problem as you. I don't want to be rude, but he always has an excuse why he isn't working out. Recently we saw a man competing that had two artificial legs and was kicking ass on the track. I looked at my husband and said, "See, he has a PERFECTLY good excuse to not work out...but he still gets out there." It really opened his eyes because any excuse that my husband has made doesn't compare to that man who has two artificial legs but is running marathons! 

@grizzlybearr@xanga - I love hearing you tell your story about getting in shape....I dont even really know you but I applaud inside every time, haha! :)

Stop with the excessive eating, for one.  You've already admitted that you do it, now's the time you actually do something about it.  Get rid of the junk.  Pre-plan your meals and snacks.  When my husband was trying to lose weight for work, I would cook about a weeks' worth of meals and store them in the fridge or freezer; I would portion out snacks like cheese cubes or fruit and put them all in their own Tupperware containers so that he could just reach in and grab one without thinking about how many he could eat and not exceed his calorie limit.

Also, you don't necessarily need alone time to work out.  There are tons of toddler-friendly things you can do together.  Turn on some music and encourage him to dance with you.  Take him outside in the stroller and go jogging.  Go swimming.  Give him a half-full water bottle to play with while you lift weights.

I found its definitely hard to get into a routine--however 20-30 minutes a day is really nothing in the grand scheme.  And as your son gets older it will be even easier to get those times in!  Yes, he may not be napping--but he will be able to entertain himself while you are working out (or join you!).  The best work-out video I have found is the Lindsay Brim Moms into Fitness Post-Natal bootcamp!  It is seriously a kick-your-booty workout in 20 MINUTES FLAT!  Its CRAZY!  I love this video because it seriously gets you into shape and its QUICK!  You can do it in your living room and be done!  But honestly--there are lots of short but sweet work-out video's out there!  All of them are VERY doable in your house at home!  Good Luck on your journey! :)

Here is the link to the Moms into Fitness website--LOTS of awesome video's and advice on there!
http://www.momsintofitness.com/

@TracyKVM - 

I was having a really hard time posting, and lost my detailed comment three times. 

I wanted to ask if the juice you "need" to pack was for you or for your child.  Either way, neither of you needs it, but a child should never have it in a bottle.

Babywearing is awesome, and I really want to encourage that.  You get a much better work out than with using a stroller--and you said your child doesn't like to be in the stroller for too long anyway (why would he?  It's boring and lonely!).

Exercise, anyway, is actually not that effective for losing weight (this is discused in detail in the Taubes' book).  And don't even think about counting calories.  A calorie is the measure of energy that a food puts out when burned in a test tube.  We do not burn food, LOL.  We use the three types of calories differently.  Carbs raise blood sugar levels, which release insulin, which tells cells to hold on to the stored fat.  Doesn't matter if your carb comes from whole grain bread or a spoonful of sugar, your body doesn't know the difference.  A low carb/high fat way of eating is healthy and respects our body's chemisty.  Especially if you carry your weight around your middle, I would strongly suggest low carb eating.  The weight will just melt off you :)

I'm a stay at home mom right now too, with a two year old. I totally understand what you mean about eating all the time. I feel like I eat just cause I get bored sometimes! So, what I've tried to do, is just switch to healthier alternatives. Instead of eating junk food, how about a bowl of your favorite fruit? Whenever I don't have time to actually cook something for lunch, I just eat a salad, with light dressings. It's quick, easy, and much healthier than most of my usuals I used to do. Even something as simple as switching the bread you use can make a difference. I'm all about whole grains now, lol. I drink water pretty much all the time too, especially since it has been such a hot summer. I can't really stand to drink anything else, to be honest. All the sugars make me feel bad, and it doesn't even really do the job, as far as quenching your thirst goes. You'd be surprised how important water really is for your body....

Now, as far as the working out goes, I've found the Insanity DvDs to be very helpful for me. Yes, it absolutely SUCKS to do, but it Will help, I guarantee that one! I'm only 3 weeks in, and can see a difference already. If you'd like something that's not quite so extreme though, I've found just going on youtube, and looking up something can work too. There's this one chick, Tiffany Rothe that's pretty good. And her workouts aren't super long, or time consuming. You could do them while your son took a nap, or something.

Hope I've helped you out some!  =)

"I'm not fat because of some pregnancy-induced hormone imbalance or anything. I'm fat because I eat too much."

Pretty much found your solution there yourself. Take something else up as an outlet at the end of the day, I like to go for a run but maybe you could start skipping or something instead of eating to relieve that stress.

Calories are important. Even if you exercise a lot, if you exceed your daily recommended calories you're going to put on weight regardless. Especially at night...you'll raise your blood sugar levels and all that energy will never get burnt, just turn into fat OwO. Easier said than done to cut the food, but like you said, you don't need it, so don't use it as a crutch :).

GOOD LUCK!

I've had three kids in five years and gained over 40 pounds each time, and managed to lose most of the weight the first year after. This last time, however, it was a little harder and honestly, it was a combination of working out and watching what I eat. But, when I just work out and don't watch what I eat, the scale begins to creep up a bit.