I go see my OBGYN next Tuesday and hopefully she will give me a green light to try to get pregnant again. My primary care told me to lose 15 lbs. I have lost 6. I will lose the other 9 if the OBGYN tells me to (but she is bigger than me and has 3 healthy children). I am ready to try again. Having a miscarriage last Thanksgiving was devastating to me. I was only 4-6 weeks along but I was already so excited. It made me feel guilty even though the Dr. told me I could not have done anything different. It made me feel unworthy as a woman. It made me feel incapable of pleasing Jason's family who would be so excited to have a little one around. I am ready to start moving forward again and to start talking about it.
I felt like I faced it alone even though some people knew. I felt like no one could understand. I still get really angry when people tell me, "Oh, it's your turn" or "How old are you now?" They are just trying to be funny but it isn't funny. They don't know what they are doing. I have come to terms with the fact that I may not be able to have a child. If I can't I will try to adopt a baby. If that doesn't work, I am thankful to have spent these years so close to my niece and nephew. I adore them and they bring so much joy to my life. I feel blessed in life but ready to try again. I can't help but be afraid.
Can you Momaroos relate?
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Comments (16)
This is one of the scariest things for me,and one that I am fairly certain that God has prepared me to deal with (long story, but I'm pretty sure that I will have a miscarriage at some point) I can't imagine what you must have gone through (and are still going through) but I think I would just do my best to be as healthy as can be, for the little one :)
I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. My sweet sister in law miscarried twins about the same time... a little closer to christmas. It was a difficult holiday season for her. Stay encouraged! She is now at 20 something weeks with a baby boy. I'm not sure if its helpful to share that someone else is pregnant, but its the only way I could relate to the story... =[ It breaks my heart to hear of people's troubles having children. It took me 4 years and a bazillion tests to finally get pregnant with my Levi =]
Be blessed, and if its of any comfort, I prayed for you.
I've lost two. The first one was a blighted ovum but I didn't find out until 11 weeks, the day after mother's day last year. The second one was lost at 8 weeks, at the end of this past April. My sister and "best" friend were both pregnant when I lost the second one, so that has made it so much harder. (I now have a healthy four-week-old nephew, and my friend's daughter is due to meet the world in December, one week after mine was due.)
My husband was very caring and worried for me both times. (More worried for my emotional state with the first one, and my physical state with the second one.) For the most part, I knew my family and some friends cared and would have helped in any way they could, but there's really nothing more they could have done for me... minus some of the well-meaning but insensitive, or downright mean comments I received.
I've lost two babies. Thankfully my third pregnancy resulted in our awesome little boy. But he was our last attempt at biological children. If we'd lost him too, we would've turned to adoption.
Sorry sweetie. I lost one at 9 weeks in May, and two months later lost another at 6 weeks. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. You are right, it does feel like you're alone, because no one else shares the same amount of pain that you do. This was your first pregnancy? You haven't tried again since the miscarriage in November? Don't jump to conclusions that you won't have a baby. Sadly, miscarriages are so common, and most women end up with healthy pregnancies after a miscarriage. I know it isn't much consolation though.
@xXrEMmUsXx@xanga - I think it is helpful to know that there ARE happy stories after a sad situation.
I am 20 and just found out I will never have children of my own, and my hormones are so low that I have to get fertility treatments to stay healthy :( I have always wanted to adopt but to hear that I physically cannot have children was hardI'm very sorry to hear about your loss and I wish you the best of luck in the future!
I have had three miscarriages in the past 4 years and it is devastating. I can relate 100% to the feelings of guilt and failure you felt afterwards.I had one miscarriage in between my two children, who were two years apart. Mothering can be the strongest instinct we carry with us in this life. I was heartened to hear you say you would adopt if you couldn't carry a child. My brother and his wife did just that, a new baby 17 hours old, and the bonding was practically instant. My guess is you will carry a child to fruition, and it just is harder for some than others. Hang in there honey. It's women like you who make great moms. And don't feel like you let his family down. The two of you are in this 100%. It's not just you, and for heaven's sake, you didn't do anything wrong other than love another being more than yourself.
{{{HUGS}}} My deepest and most heartfelt condolences for what you've been through. Miscarriages are incredibly devastating, and they can be extremely disabling for many women. My thoughts are with you on your journey, hun.
{{{{{hugs}}}}}
I am sorry for your loss. I hope that you are successful. Please try not to feel like you are less of a woman or a disappointment if you can't have children. Your value as a woman does not depend upon whether or not you can have children.
I just recently had a miscarriage. I miscarried July 21 2012. I was so devasted after words, still am, but know things happen for a reason. I wish you the best of luck in trying again and just remember to keep the faith. If it is meant to be, it will happen. I will pray for you.
I had a miscarriage and it was very difficult. Luckily, a huge majority of women experience one or more and later on have healthy children. I had two children after mine. Don't let it keep you down.
People are insensitive without even knowing it most of the time. I had a coworker chastise me because I had told a few people that I was pregnant before I miscarried. I will say that the unwanted comments got worse after I had kids. Folks just love to comment even when they shouldn't.
I personally can't relate because I have yet to find a steady girlfriend let alone establish a family. My mother had me in her late thirties and my older brother in her early thirties. From what I remember, she had two miscarriages before my brother and I. I've never broached the topic with her because as heartless as it sounds, I think she wants to keep it off her mind. She's in her 60's now and I remember when I was young, that was one of the few things she cried about.
I hope you the best of luck and pray that you will soon have a child of your own.
Having a miscarriage was one of the hardest thing I've ever gone through. Hands down. I thought I'd never have the courage to try again. But a year later I did, and my precious daughter Danielle is the biggest blessing I could ever hope for! :)
I've had multiple losses, two in the 2nd trimester. It took a few years of actively trying, but now I have a daughter. I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you so much everyone for opening up and sharing. It helps to know that so many of you went on to have healthy pregnancies. I tried one other time in the Spring but had a miscommunication with my Dr. I should have had an increased dosage of Clomid for it to work. Planning to try again at the end of the month so keeping my fingers crossed. <3