I go see my OBGYN next Tuesday and hopefully she will give me a green light to try to get pregnant again. My primary care told me to lose 15 lbs. I have lost 6. I will lose the other 9 if the OBGYN tells me to (but she is bigger than me and has 3 healthy children). I am ready to try again. Having a miscarriage last Thanksgiving was devastating to me. I was only 4-6 weeks along but I was already so excited. It made me feel guilty even though the Dr. told me I could not have done anything different. It made me feel unworthy as a woman. It made me feel incapable of pleasing Jason's family who would be so excited to have a little one around. I am ready to start moving forward again and to start talking about it.
I felt like I faced it alone even though some people knew. I felt like no one could understand. I still get really angry when people tell me, "Oh, it's your turn" or "How old are you now?" They are just trying to be funny but it isn't funny. They don't know what they are doing. I have come to terms with the fact that I may not be able to have a child. If I can't I will try to adopt a baby. If that doesn't work, I am thankful to have spent these years so close to my niece and nephew. I adore them and they bring so much joy to my life. I feel blessed in life but ready to try again. I can't help but be afraid.
Can you Momaroos relate?