Wednesday, 27 June 2012

  • Parents Beware: New Delaware Child Abuse Bill


    I was recently made aware (through the Home School Legal Defense Association) of a bill that has already unanimously passed the Delaware Senate (on June 19th of this year) that may lead to dangerous new ground for parents.

    Senate Bill 234 redefines the legal term "physical injury" as it applies to child abuse to also include the word "pain." This redefinition would make spanking a child in Delaware a crime punishable by imprisonment.

    *Causing "pain" to a child under the age of 18 would be a class A misdemeanor - punishable by up to one year in prison.

    *Causing "pain" to a child 3 or younger would be a class G felony - punishable by up to two years in prison.

    The bill now must pass the Delaware General Assembly in order for it to become law. If it were to pass, Delaware would be the first state to outright ban punishment such as spanking.

    It is important to know the laws regulating parenting not only in your state but also in every state. Because the law in one ultimately creates legal precedent that may effect all.

    How do you feel about this proposed law, which already unanimously passed the Delaware Senate? Do you feel it oversteps your right to parent your children?


    *UPDATE - 
    On September 12, 2012, Governor Jack Markell signed Senate Bill 234. It is now legally the state's new law.

Comments (62)

  • Electrons_in_Hiatus_2009@xanga

    I do think it does cross the line a tad. Excessively beating your children is plain wrong, however slapping a child or spanking them isn't. 

    It also depends on the age. Slapping a five year old across the face  that won't stop talking back or giving them a good ole spanking is one thing. However, I wouldn't suggest slapping or spanking a 2 year old. As for causing pain, thats how we learn. Weather it be physical or emotional. That is how we learn our hardest lessons. Causing pain and leaving a bruise are two different things. Bottom line, is your child old enough to know what is wrong and what is right? If they do, and they choose to defy and defy again, then I don't see why spanking is abuse, as long as its in moderation. =) 
  • grizzlybearr@xanga
    I personally don't feel we should teach by inflicting pain.
  • nickiesneon@xanga

    It's a bit tad.  You can bet your sweet bippy that if I needed to hurt/push my child out of the way to prevent a bigger injury...I'm gonna do it.  Whether it's a slap on the hand because they are near an iron or the stove, or a shove to get them out of the way of an oncoming car in the parking lot...I'd do whatever I needed to do to protect my little one.

  • laytexduckie@xanga

    As Delaware is my homestate, I do feel that it steps pretty far over the line. I was spanked as a child not because my dad was a big mean person, but because I did something wrong. I hated it back then, but I understood why he did it. You have kids now with no moral discipline running around destroying things and causing trouble. (In my neighborhood, I've seen kids steal golf carts, blow up mailboxes, throw cinderblocks through car windshields, etc. The last two happened to me and my parents). With this legislation being so vague as to describing "pain," there are bound to be so many wrongful arrests. 


    I think the main problem is that people don't know how to distinguish the line between discipline and abuse. So, instead of trying to figure that line out, they just remove it altogether. And that can be much more dangerous. There is no perfect way to parenting, but I believe that we should allow the parents themselves choose how to parent. 
  • rachmorgan01

      I am 100% against physical punishment as a form of discipline. I do not believe it teaches children anything but fear, resentment, and can easily create a vicious cycle of abuse (parent hits kid, kid grows up and hits their spouse/kid, second kid grows up and hits spouse/kid....ugghh!) I know many parents believe spanking is okay, and I will admit I've been tempted to swat at my kids when my patience has dwindled and their behavior has escalated, but I feel there are many more constructive and effective ways to discipline children that do not involve striking them. Time outs, loss of privilages, no dessert after dinner, groundings.... I know I dreaded being sent to the corner/to my room, losing my privilages, and being grounded SO much more than I hated being spanked. Yes, the swat hurt, but only for a minute, and then I could just go on my merry way afterward. Getting grounded meant I couldn't go out and play or watch tv for a specific amount of time, and that was a lot harder to tolerate than a spanking.

    I do wonder if this new proposal goes a bit far. Although I do not raise my hands to my children, I see other parents give their kids a quick swat, and most of the children don't even flinch because it really didn't hurt at all, so I'm not sure I would agree with sending said parent to prison. I can also see how some parents would feel this law would infringe upon their rights, but since I don't spank, it wouldn't be an issue for me.

     I can also see how this law would be helpful because some children receive spankings much more severe than the ones I have seen that leave marks and make it difficult for the child to walk and sit. I also feel spanking can lead to other forms of physical discipline that are much more harmful, especially when a parent sees spanking no longer phases their child.....Maybe that was just my own personal experience growing up, though.....

  • Erika_Steele@xanga

    I think the law crosses the line.  This is not going to stop children from being abused.  Child abusers will harm children regardless of what the law says.  It is only going to hurt parents who actually care about their children and put more children into the system.

  • Aloysius_son@xanga

    Spare the rod, spoil the child. Rotten fruit is good only to maggots and flies.

  • PapaFish88@xanga

    I believe that banning "pain" or otherwise, spanking, from our parenting realm is asking Delaware to have the brattiest kids in the U.S.  The government or more the media, likes to spin the brat effect to discipline our children, too harshly.  I was raised on stern punishments.  I was spanked from Mum (who was a housewife), and then later by my father if the action I committed was bad enough. I.E. I was spanked by him usually if it was against the Ten Commandments.

    Today though, I am grateful for this form of discipline, and credit my parents for my successes today.  Without their constant parenting, or better yet, rearing, I would not have the amount of respect I have for individuals in power, or older than myself, or even younger than myself. 

    Thank you Mum and Dad.

  • landers_mommy0520

    This is ridiculous. Spanking, while not advisable in all situations, has been an accepted form of discipline for generations. I have never known a child to be seriously injured just from being spanked occasionally. Kids need discipline, and saying "Now, Johnny, that was bad" is just not enough. Also, I have never met a child that time outs worked for.

  • rachmorgan01

    @nickiesneon@xanga - These are things I think most parents do. Startling or physically stopping a child from getting seriously injured is not the same as spanking as a form of discipline. I agree with you, though. I have had to pull and push my children in parking lots to avoid them getting hit and have swatted my kids' hands away from my hair straightener a few times.

  • rachmorgan01

    @laytexduckie@xanga - I'm not trying to downplay anything you wrote in your comment, but I do have a question: These troublemakers in your neighborhood, are they acting out, in your opinion, due to a lack of physical discipline, or would you say their behavior is due to a lack of discipline all together? I grew up in a home where we were spanked (among other things), and my brothers got into all sorts of trouble like that. It was a lack of supervision that led to my brothers causing problems in the neighborhood.

    I do agree with you on the vagueness of the proposed bill leading to unnecessary arrests. Good thing it's just a bill right now, and hopefully, the specifics change a bit if it goes any further.

  • laytexduckie@xanga

    @rachmorgan01 - When I see them, I feel it's more of just a lack of discipline all together. If it they were acting out against discipline, I don't believe they would be going home. The kids who stole the golf cart were arrested at their homes because it rained that day, they discarded the destroyed golf cart in a nearby field, and trekked mud to their house. 

  • LondonsMommy

    This is tough. As a parent thinking of putting my child in "pain" makes me sick. But if I smack her butt gently, I'm sure that hurts a little right? But of course that is not child abuse. There is no way to draw a clear line between discipline and abuse. Some parents consider whipping with a belt discipline, and to me that is abuse. There has to be laws. But in all seriousness, if a cop sees you spank your child gently in public, are they going to arrest you? No. This law is probably just going to cover the idiotic parents who abuse their kids and call it spanking or discipline. 

  • LondonsMommy

    @electrons_in_hatius_2009@xanga - I don't think we learn from pain. You can teach your children by talking, demonstrating, etc. Not slapping them across the face. :/

  • Brianna

         I am still 17 and think this is outright crazy! A household is a child's government until they become an adult and this country is sliding towards communism this is just another step that has crossed the line. Just think about it, our founding fathers were BEAT as children as a result they had strong morals and knew that there are consequences for actions. I have appreciated getting slapped whipped with a switch, belt or paddle because it taught me right from wrong. It is putting a child in danger not to whip him or her, if a baby tries to put its finger in a electrical outlet you better SLAP its hand because a baby will understand that sting more than moving it or saying no and if you did just move it or say no I promise you he or she will do it again only the next time it might be at office or a friends house where there are no covers on the outlets. So, yes, I believe if you haven't caused your child some pain you are a VERY bad parent.

  • LondonsMommy

    @rachmorgan01 - I agree. Usually parents spank when they are angry, to make themselves feel better. You don't see a parent who is completely calm and under control spank their kids. Then everyone wonders why their kids hit other kids. 

  • Brianna

    Also, since I have been whipped, slapped, and beat with a switch; I can say from first hand experience it has taught me self-control and discipline. I started college at 16 and had above a 3.0 GPA. I was not abused I was taught that there are consequences for doing wrong or right. I know someone who wasn't punished as a child and only talked to so, he went into the real world expecting it to be like that but instead landed himself in prison!  This world has been around thousands of years and children were always bent across the knee or slapped so, what makes it abuse now?! Nothing at all! Not to mention that this country is steadily getting worse and worse our Constitutional Republic became a Democracy and is now sliding towards communistic ideals.  And now they want to control how we raise our children? I am sorry but, when I have Children I want to raise them according to my beliefs not those of the majority around me. During the holocaust the Jews were the minority and the people murdering them were the majority yet, this did not make attempting to wipe a people of the face of this planet right. Nor, is it right for the Majority to decide how I raise my child because if you control the children you control the nation!



    PLEASE take the raising of your children serious because YOU are accountable for how they end up.
  • Brianna

    Also, my niece and nephews are whipped but, they have never laid a hand on another child, because they know that they will be disciplined for that. You must draw the line between discipline and fighting because you are NOT your child's friend you are their authority and they must understand that. I understand this about my own parents.And yes I have been slapped out of anger and even though it was wrong for my parent to be angry, i was more so in the wrong because i brought the punishment upon myself with simply disobedience.



  • rachmorgan01

    I'm a bit confused about something.... How does not being spanked make children "bratty?" I've read a few comments equating the lack of physical discipline with misbehavior, and I, personally, do not agree with these opinions. There are other ways to discipline a child that do no not involve hitting, and if implemented consistently, work very well.

    My daughter will be 6 this year, and she has the attitude of a teenager sometimes. She doesn't misbehave so much as she back talks. A verbal warning sometimes gets her to tone down the sass, but if not, it's off to the corner for 5 1/2mins. When a time out isn't enough to put a stop to the behavior, a loss of a special toy or her radio, or not getting to do something/have something (i.e. dessert) will do the trick. My 3 year old son gets the same punishments, and they are just as effective with him as they are with his older sister. My youngest, who is 2, is learning all about how boring it is to sit in the corner, and so far, it's worked wonders. I do not resort to spanking or slapping or any other form of physical discipline, and do not feel my children are "bratty" because they get sent to the corner instead. My brother in law and his wife spank their 3 kids, and none of them care one bit. They are, for lack of a better description, out of control. I don't know how they are at home, but when we're all together, those 3 are so disobedient, it nearly floors me. They get a spanking, and go right back to whatever it was they were doing that got them spanked.... If physical discipline is the only effective way to rear a child, why don't my nieces and nephew respond accordingly?

  • rachmorgan01

    @laytexduckie@xanga - I really hope you don't feel like I was picking on you.

  • laytexduckie@xanga

    @rachmorgan01 - Hahah, nah. It's all good. I know you're just curious. :)

  • Brianna

    So now her disrespecting you isn't bad? Because I was taught to respect those in authority over me and I promise you if she is sixteen and back talking it will lead to rebellion. Yes, spanking isn't a magic spell that makes children behave it takes time and effort to raise a child and children also need positive responses for doing right. It is also true that not all cases are the same. That is why i oppose this law so much because they are not all the same so a parent should have the choice of whether or not to whip their child, not the government who doesn't know your family.  What if your daughter started lashing out and cussing at you or even slapping other children? don't you think that there should be levels of discipline. If it was the same punishment for every crime the world would be crazy! I'm by no means saying to whip a child for everything the do wrong; however, sometimes it is necessary.

  • Brianna

    Oh, and all kids act like brats sometimes, that is just human nature. And your daughter sounds allot like my niece who is very sensitive and only gets whipped for serious  infractions of rules she is also a sweetheart when it comes right down to it..

  • Brianna
  • rachmorgan01

    @Brianna - I was spanked as a child. I was also slapped, pushed, kicked and dragged by my hair. My parents tied me to a post in the unfinished basement when I was only 4. My dad held my mouth shut so tightly, my braces cut into the insides of my lips when I was 15. I had red marks, bruises, welts, and sore muscles. One time, my mother left a complete handprint on the side of my face. I was constantly being yelled/screamed at, horrible insults were thrown at me, and I spent most of my childhood hating myself. I was always told the beatings were justified because I "deserved them," and when I questioned my parents' methods, my mother would freak out and say: "Well, if you could learn to keep your mouth shut, your father wouldn't have to hit you." After experiencing a childhood filled with fear, pain, anger and self loathing, forgive me for completely disagreeing with you concerning the effectiveness of physical discipline.

  • Sign in to Comment

  • Give eProps (?)

About the Author

Who recommended?