Do you formula feed your baby, as a supplement or as a full diet? Have you ever heard someone call it poison? Don't worry. Take a deep breath; you aren't alone. Statistically speaking, it's not gonna hurt your baby. Read on!
Recently I was hanging around at a breastfeeding event. I had a copy of Defining Your Own Success and an SNS stashed in my bag, just in case a low supply mom showed up. The room was full of doulas, midwives, and others from the natural birth crowd. Lots of crunchy mamas and supportive others. Well, on day one there was some drama and people started slinging the word "poison" around with regard to the formula. They said it so casually, but with such vehemence. They had such looks of disgust and derision on their faces. They used the word formula in the same tone of voice you'd use to describe dog feces.
I was there with women who know me, my story, and that I use formula. I was standing in front of this one particular woman who is my friend, and as she spoke
to me she hissed the word poison and my breath caught. Didn't she remember that the SNS in my bag was used for formula? Didn't she know that the bottle I fed my baby as I walked out the door that morning was half Similac? I was really hurt by the use of the word "poison" to describe the nutritious substance that I choose to give my baby when he is hungry and the tap's run dry.
I was especially hurt because one of the women who said it (twice) is a good friend who pays lip service to the fact that there is a place for formula. She's forever saying that it isn't formula she hates, it's the marketing. It isn't formula she hates, it's the formula company. Apparently she doesn't hate poison.
No - Formula isn't perfect; neither is peanut butter, nor sushi, nor a medium rare steak. Lots of things can make us sick. Formula has it's dangers, just like car rides and exposure to other humans. Heck, too much sun can cause cancer and we all love the sun (without it we'd DIE)! Formula may even contain some chemicals I'd prefer to avoid, but so does the smog, so does the tap water, so does the fabric in my car.
Even if we disagree with marketing tactics, or particular chemical make-ups of various formulas, why can't people just take a deep breath and be thankful that women who need it have it? Regardless of the reason why they need it.
As BEST-feeding moms, we need to start changing the way we talk about formula. Our lactation professionals need to be especially cognizant of this. The real poison isn't in the formula, the formula is just a food. The real poison isn't even in the marketing of the formula company, that's all stuff we can throw away.
The real poison,
the poison that has the power to strike at the heart,
the poison that has the power to impact relationships,
the poison that has the power to lead a baby to malnutrition,
the poison that draws a line in the sand and says "come to war" and "I am better than you"
is the small-minded, petty, selfish belief that any one of us knows what's best for another human being.
Walk a mile in my shoes. Feel your hungry baby snuggle up to your breast and coo while sucking down some "poison" and enjoy that big old smile when he's finished. Look back at his 4lb 12oz photos while you play with his healthy little body, a body half-built with nourishment from formula. Then tell me how you feel about my choices. Then tell me how you feel about the food
I choose for
MY son.
Yes, this is a breastfeeding blog, but it is also a BEST-feeding blog. I support all moms who are making the best choice for their little ones. That said, I am going to follow this rant with a post about safe use of infant formula, and some of it's benefits.
The American Academy of Pediatrics states: "Exclusive breastfeeding is ideal nutrition and sufficient to support optimal growth and development for approximately the first 6 months after birth.
Infants weaned before 12 months of age should not receive cow's milk feedings but should receive iron-fortified infant formula."
Read original post from TheDairyDiva
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Comments (21)
Im a foster/adoptive mum... and I want to thank you for writing this.. My adopted son was failure to thrive when he came to us at 6 months old. We needed formula to feed him.
As you said, no formula is not perfect. but sometimes you just don't have a choice.
*applauds* I was part of a breastfeeding group online when I was bfing my daughter. They were super supportive of my choice to breastfeed and with the troubles I had but some of them got really snarky when I decided to wean my daughter. Why? Because I was still producing breastmilk and the decision was based upon my own unhappiness with it and that's selfish. I know tons of moms who feel formula is poison but formula brought me back from a dark place in my life. While I enjoyed breastfeeding I hated it at the same time. I was unhappy and in turn my daughter was unhappy....this made everyone in my family unhappy. Relationships suffered.
So I thank heavens for formula. I'm glad it's around for us moms to use when needed, and as you said, regardless of WHY it's needed.
its definitely not as good as it should be they need to replace the high fructose corn syrup that i just discoverd was in it. My daughter is 7 months and because of low supply i have had to combo but once this tub is gone she will just have to do with some food water and what breast milk i can give and wont go back on formula unless she stops gaining or looses weight.
@DarkMeru@xanga - there are recipes for home made formula that do not contain HFC... just google it... Im lucky here in Canada because I can find formulas that don't contain it.
agreed. i was a formula baby, and i have none of the health problems that breastfeeding fanatics often blame formula for. and my immune system is freakishly strong.
fanaticism, whether it a part of religion or childcare, is ugly. i have no respect for women who feel the need to belittle other mothers for their decisions, just as i have no respect for religious bigots.
Agreed all my kids where F.Fed babies. None of them had or have any of the problems that they say you can prevent by breast feeding. And 2 of my daughters just had their i.q.'s tested. And they tested in the HIGH average rang. In some cases you just don't have a choice as in our case. BFing just was not a option. We bottle fed because it was in the best interest of everyone involved.
@flapper_femme_fatale@xanga - I'm a formula baby too and also have a freakishly strong immune system. Next time a mom tries to say formula is bad, just tell them you're a formula baby with a strong immune system and none of the problems they claim formula causes. I do that and they usually quiet down.
you know what i liked about this whole post? the word BEST-feeding. that's really what it's all about, feeding your baby the best way that you can. if that's milk from you, great; if it's formula from a can, fine. just feed that child!!
My oldest two were on formula, my youngest was b/f - they are all equally crazy (and SMART and HEALTHY)! :)
To each their own.
I do love a good debate though, because I stand on both sides ;) Gosh it ticks some people off sometimes. I love it. Well, my kid can stand on mail boxes and fly like superwoman and was formula fed! Or, my kid coul sing their ABC's by 12 months and was b/f! (Did I mention has two older siblings?) Seriously... who really cares? I parent my kid, you parent your kid.
Bada bing.
I absolutely love this post! I believe every mother and father have the right to decide what is best for their situation and their children, and this includes feeding methods. I don't think any woman should feel or be made to feel guilty for formula feeding. If it was dangerous for babies, why would it be on the shelves? Why would doctors be encouraging mothers who can't/don't breastfeed to give formula to their children? Sure, it's not as good for a baby as milk on tap, but it's the closest alternative.
I breastfed my oldest for 4 months, my middle child for 4 months, and my youngest for 13 months. All 3 of my kids are happy, healthy and thriving, and that's all that should matter.
Bless this post. My mum breast-fed me but I was weaned early because she had to go back to work to help pay bills, and I was a perfectly healthy, happy child. People need to let other people parent and keep their noses out!
That takes a shit load of nerve to talk like that around other mothers who may not be breast feeding. Would they talk like that around someone who's just adopted a baby? My mother breast fed none of her childen. My brother and his wife adopted a baby 23 years ago, and she's had fewer health issues than the other kids in the family. And what about mothers suffering post partum depression, who need to go on medication to simply survive the desire to end their lives? Formula can be a god send. My 9 month old grandson was lactose intolerant, and sick as hell. It took the doctor way too long to figure out the reason this baby only pooped once a week, and was miserable all the time. Once we put him on soy formula, our own doing by the way, life became much easier. One size does not fit all. In my day it was the leLeche League breathing down our backs, making us feel like failures if we slipped a bottle in once in a while. Same with Lamaze child birth. We need to stop criticizing those unlike us and rejoice in any small successes they have, and realize that loving the baby is the most important thing they can do.
OMG! this makes me so sad. i had the supply but my son wouldnt latch and my supply deminished b/c i didnt pump enough (unknowingly). i was very thankful that the dr and nurses at the hospital were supportive of formula due to my son not gaining weight proplerly. once on formula he started to slowly gaining weight like he was supposed to. my son is 2 and is perfectly healthy. yes formula isnt the best but when its all you have, its all you have. i am very thankful that i had the option of formula or i dont know what would happen.
I would probably try & go as natural as possible or see if there's a way I could make my own formula but this is simply because I distrust big businesses & while I don't mind putting food into my body that's not necessarily the best for me, I plan on changing this when I have kids to set a good example & be as natural as possible. I have no idea if I'm going to be able to stand breastfeeding; my mother couldn't (of course, this means nothing, but still) & while we have alternatives, why subject yourself to something you hate doing as long as you're still giving your child the best start to life that they can get?
As a currently breastfeeding mama and a past formula mama this article is great! No mom should be judged on how they feed their baby., If you just didn't feel like breastfeeding it's the choice of the mother and she should be respected no matter what.
@DarkMeru@xanga - If you are concerned about the high fructose corn syrup, there are formula options that do not include that ingredient. I think Earth's Best and Nature's Own are two companies that use alternate sources.
@Pollypinks@xanga - obviously I am supportive of any mom doing what is best for her... but since you mentioned antidepressants I just wanted to throw this out there:
If any mom is interested in taking a medication and has heard that this medication isn't safe for baby they can check with Dr. Hale (http://www.ibreastfeeding.com) to be sure. Often times the doctors we interact with were trained with old information and are not as up to date as we would like. There are several antidepressant medications that are compatible with breastfeeding.
There are also other options for moms who need that medicine and can't breastfeed, thank heaven for those options!
@Ride_Every_Stride@xanga - Be very careful about homemade formula. I have never met a healthcare professional that supported it. Everyone I have ever asked about it (from midwives to pediatricians, to Lactation Consultants) has urged me to use ready-to-feed sterile formula in BPA free containers.
@DairyDiva - Good to know, thank you. I don't know too much about it. I like to try & make a lot of homemade things but I can see where formula might be a little tricky if you don't know what you're doing.
What did I say that took a shitload of whatever to say? Still reading my post, and I don't get your vitriol.
@Pollypinks@xanga - Pollypinks, I am afraid that you may have misunderstood o misread my post. This is an article about why people should not judge, as you seem to agree. I am not saying formula is bad - I am responding to the question that was posed to me.