Tuesday, 19 June 2012
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Lose That Baby Weight Fast - Or Else
Or else someone will judge us for not getting back in the gym quick enough. They'll think we're a lazy slob who doesn't care anymore. Worse yet, we'll feel that way about ourselves. What's wrong with us that we don't look like that 6 weeks postpartum?Who else has felt that way? I have read article after article and seen story after story of celebrities who go insane right after delivering their babies in order to "get their bodies back." We've all seen it. We are bombarded by it. I actually think it has become sort of an expectation that once we pop out our little ones, we should bounce right back. As if nothing had ever happened. Instantly.
I wonder where this ideal came from, and who thought it was a healthy thing to do? I'm not actually sure I believe it is true? What we see presented before us is often so photo-shopped; nipped here, tucked there, Spanx galore and who knows what else is going on behind the scenes. But we see only what we are presented with. It is the only truth told to us. So secretly? We believe it.
How many of these celebri-Moms do you think actually spend a significant amount of time with their children? That's the question I'm starting to wonder. Are these children being raised by nannies and caretakers while their mothers worry about dieting and getting in enough time with their personal trainers? One of the biggest changes for me when I became a Mom was that everything was not about *me* anymore. It was about taking care of my daughter, and then also my son when he came along. It became about someone else. Are celebrities capable of letting someone else have the spotlight all the time?
I just don't think it's a fair expectation to put on ourselves, or for society to put on us either - that we should be bikini-ready within a couple of months after we have gone through such a traumatic ordeal. We put our bodies through enough in the last 9 months and more.
I have actually started to feel really sorry for the new celebrity Mothers out there. If they don't kill themselves in the gym upon discharge from the hospital, they'll read about it and see unflattering pictures everywhere. The pressure put upon them is often from others, from the outside world. The pressure put upon us as regular Moms? We put it on ourselves.
So give yourself some credit, Momma. You are too hard on yourself.
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About the Author
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- From: sarahsmurfette@xanga
- About Me: Proud military wife. Mother of two.
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Comments (37)
i don't think it's always the outside pressuring one to look good, maybe sometimes in the celeb world but not in the real world. i got back into shape after babies because i wanted to. because it made ME feel better. i think it's a good way to combat postpartum depression too! maybe not kill yourself in the gym, but getting up and doing some exercise is a great way to battle baby blues/depression!
i did see a picture of mariah carey not long after giving birth to her twins. you could tell that her belly was obviously photoshopped and it hurt me because i'm sure she did feel pressure to appear in a bikini on a magazine just a few months after giving birth. things don't go back into place that quickly, killing yourself in the gym or not, lol.If I made a million dollars a year.. i'd look lik ethat too. Treat myself to a tummy tuck, some lipo and while im at it some boobs take a picture and photoshop myself.
I like going to gym, but for me. Not for the people who judge me, i wanna live to see my son get married. I wanna fit into my size 2 jeans because well... i dont wanna buy new ones.
Ever since i lost my baby weight i still have that nasty lose skin on my belly.... and my hubby still kisses my stomach. So to those who matter.. won't ever care how big or small i am, loose of tight my skin is. That's what counts.
baby bellys ftw.
Society, I swear, hates women in general and mothers specifically. lol My OB told me that it takes nine months to make a baby and at least nine months to lose all we gain from it! That includes not just fat, but our bones. They spread (especially the pelvis) in order for us to have more room and they stay bigger than before we gave birth. Hence, archaeologists can tell when a skeleton has given birth. We can never, ever get our body back unless we give birth too early. We can only lose the fat, we can't do much (naturally speaking) about our skin or hips. It should be a badge of honor, but society does treat it as shameful.
@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - If you look back through history, women who were larger were considered MORE beautiful. When did this change? Where along the timeline did everyone decide to go the opposite, to the extreme?
Watching a celebrity give birth and then weeks later do a half-nude magazine cover is so unrealistic, yet so many women see that and see it as reality. They look in the mirror and are sickened because they aren't thin with all the right toned areas. There's a video that I'll post here, it's perfect for every women - mother or not.
Honestly i dont care what anyone thinks about my body havent since high school and learned it really didnt matter then like it doesnt now, people will be nasty no matter what size they are. I dont want to be treated better or different when im small especially in a relationship. I dont want to be with someone who olny wants me for looks. Im happy with myself i eat right and recently started working out again. I gotta say tho after baby i did kinda bounce back after 2 months of healing anyway. 2 weeks after i had her i actually weighed 5 pounds less than when i first got pregnant. With my baby girl it was all in the belly and water weight i only ate when i was hungry and didnt use pregnancy as a reason to overeat in fact i physically couldnt becuse of the pressur on my stomach a few bites and i would be done. And when i did eat it was healthy lots of veggies and fruit. I think your being kinda hard on celebrities, its not really our buisnes how their kids are being raised as long as they are happy and healthy. They get right back because we expect to see them how we always have its pressure from themselves and expectations that drives them. People views will only effect you if you let them!
@Mandi - I've read a lot of stuff into women's bodies in the past. Thin has always, always been in with women. Look at corsets and the demand that women have 25" waists and if not they needed a tighter corset. It's not something new we've thrusted upon a new generation of women. It has always been there. I'm nearly 40 and I'd almost say it was worse in the 1950s when my grandmother was having babies. I think we're actually more understanding now. Sure, there's ancient artwork of some women with larger bodies, but there's a lot more artwork where they are skinny too.
However, it has never been fashionable to have stretch marks and excess belly fat or skin after having babies. Less fat and smooth skin is a marker of youth, and today men and society still try to demand that. It's shameful since women don't demand the same of men. Men get excess fat and stretch marks too.
@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - You're right, I didn't even think of corsets! Obviously only invented for one reason too.
Why don't women demand the same? If such pressures want to be put on us, and so many of us fall victim to the criticism, why don't we do the same for men? Shouldn't they ALL look like Channing Tatum or Brad Pitt, or whoever is the latest "it" boy? Time to start up a tabloid focused on pointing out the "flaws" of the celebrity men and turn the tables!
it's been a year and I have gone up and down and just cannot find it in me to make the best choices :/ It's hard because for me it's just not a little extra pudge - I am overweight, seriously :(
I have always struggled with my weight, not just how much there is or isn't, but where my body decides to carry it. No matter if i gain 5lbs or 50, my body packs it on in my abdomen......right where your baby belly is.
Currently, i have no idea what I weight right now. I'm guessing I'm about 140-150 lbs, but i might crush any self esteem that i have left to find out the real number. I am slowly working to accept myself in this new form, starting with a new wardrobe that fits AND flatters (anything that i currently own that doesn't do both will get the axe....as soon as there is enough stuff to replace it). When i honestly looked at my life, going out of my way to exercise doesn't work for me (that's not saying i'm sitting on my butt all day, i do live a pretty active lifestyle).
FYI: not all corsets were torture devices. The ones forcing their waists that small were high in society and didn't really have much else to do. The majority of women wore them so they were much less constricted. Kinda like today.....only the famous ones are killing themselves in the gym to loose baby-weight super fast. The rest of us know it takes a bit of time
I had a really hard time post partum due to illness after illness in our family. We got a gym membership, which I never used because I was either recovering or cleaning up after someone who was recovering!
I'm on a mission to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight by his one year birthday. I think that is a reasonable and healthy goal which the majority of moms can strive for - I agree that it is not realistic for most people to do it in a few months unless they have a lot of help or didn't put on any fat during their pregnancy!
Things like couch to 5k, baby yoga, and even just walking are great for post partum though!
Sometimes, it is just genetics. They tend to be on the skinnier side with a high metabolism before pregnancy so they tend to lose the weight quicker afterwards.
I know for me, I have been underweight my entire life and lost the baby weight (and then some) within a couple of months. Breastfeeding also played a role in that.
This post is about the pressure to too quickly lose baby weight. I find it very interesting that while my intention was to try and help boost the esteem of those who have gotten lost in the crowd, lost in the media, lost in the idealism (which is unhealthy and unrealistic) - including myself in some moments - that it wasn't apparently accepted in that way by many of you.
It is disheartening to me as the author to write this and come here and find comments that seem competitive about this very thing. It's great that some of you were able to bounce right back. More women don't, particularly if they have had a cesarean or if they have had more than one child.
I didn't find the comradery I thought I would when I wrote this. I'm actually pretty sad about that.
I have mixed feelings about celebrity mothers and their post baby bodies. There is so much pressure placed on them to not only look as good as they did before the baby, but to look even better! Take Jessica Simpson, for example. She gained a significant amount of weight while pregnant with baby Max, and now the pressure's on from Weight Watchers to get back in shape (plus, she wants to look good for her wedding day). If these celebs don't look fantastic within a certain time frame, their careers can be damaged significantly. The way they look is their livelihood, and I'm sure their self esteems plummet when they are criticized for their size by the media. At the same time, though, I feel these women owe it to themselves and to their children to take some time to just be before heading back out into the limelight. One of my fave examples of post baby normalcy is Bryce Dallas Howard. I recently saw a picture of her holding her youngest daughter, and she looked like, well, me. She still had all the baby weight, and I thought: "Good for you, Bryce!" She was more concerned with taking care of her family than slipping into a slinky gown.
I know a lot of women get down on themselves when they see post baby celeb bodies. These celebs have their babies, and within 2 months (or 2 weeks...Eeek!), they look fantastic. We look at these photos and compare them to our post baby bulges and want to cry. I think women often forget how much help celebs have at home with them. They have chefs, nutrition specialists, personal trainers and nannies. We have to do things on our own, and find that just taking care of the baby we birthed is enough!
I've struggled with my weight all my life. I've always been overweight, and having children just adds to that. I have tried plenty of diets, and have failed (or gotten super sick). I am one of those people who can just look at food and feel my thighs getting bigger. It's not easy! I don't have any significant health problems like diabetes or heart disease, I'm just bigger. I just try to remind myself that my children love me and my husband thinks I'm sexy, so that's all that matters.
It seems like a revolving door to me, a motherhood outsider looking in.
The moms see magazines of their favorite celebs losing weight really fast and feel like they should be able to do it...The celebs know that everyone is watching them and try to lose the weight really fast...Their weight loss (or not) is gabbed over by tabloids... The moms read the tabloids...You get the idea.@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - "Less fat and smooth skin is a marker of youth, and today men and society still try to demand that."
Exalting Youth ---This is definitely a part of it. American society in general has a lack of respect for age, experience or wisdom. Hence, why there are so many popular songs, movies and TV shows featuring lifestyles that are risky, self-centered, and irresponsible.
( Probably started with the reaction of the baby-boomers to the previous generations' rigidity.)
I have three kids. They were born 14 and 19 months apart. My oldest son is now 13. My youngest daughter is 10. I am just beginning to be able to get back to something even remotely like my pre-kid body... and even going to the gym 5 days a week (and loving every second of it), it is still taking time. We've had our membership at the YMCA since the beginning of April. I go to Zumba three nights a week, Body Flow on Tuesdays, Circuit Blast on Wednesdays, and I chill out on the weekends. (My kids are home schooled, so I spend ALL day with them. Having an hour or two where I can go "play" in the evening is awesome.) I have yet to do all of that in any given week though... LOL That's just the schedule of stuff I try to make it to. I've lost about 10 lbs since April... I still have a few to go... Though I don't expect to get down to the 114 lbs I was before I had them, I can at least get back to a point where I'm not overweight.
They were talking about Beyonce and how she "lost weight" on one of those nightly shows, can't remember which. This lady goes, "These celebrities have teams of people to raise their children, while they get back into shape" (or something along those lines). I was really disgusted by that.
There's that much pressure on them, that they have to hire people to care for their children, while they get back in shape for the paparazi?
PATHETIC.
Yep, and I had someone tell me that since celebrities can get back into shape, so could I. That irritated me. Yeah, if i had loads of money and people at my beck and call and that's all I seemed to care about, over my baby, sure. I could get back into shape.
Grrr, freaking idiots.
I agree with you. Good post!
It's definitely not smart to idealize celebrities & aspire to be exactly like them. The difference? While they have lots of money to shell out keeping their newborn quiet while they work out, this is also their job. So maybe they do spend their few weeks of maternity leave taking care of their babies, but just like we have to go back to work, so do they. & until they start shooting or singing, their job is to exercise all day & get their bodies back to beautiful. But like I said, they have all day to do it- if our jobs involved exercising so many hours a day, we'd bounce back that fast, too.
@Megabyyte@xanga - but we shell out tons of money for daycare so we can go to work. I don't understand how celebrities disgust people.. they chose entertainment as their jobs. It's the paparazzi making us feel like shit, not the celebrities themselves. There is that much pressure on them because they're not getting in shape for the paparazzi, they're getting in shape so they can get a job. Their bodies are what earns them money for them & their families, of course they have to be in shape. Our argument is we aren't celebrities & therefore have to work 8 hours a day instead of exercising.
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - First off, how do you know they're millionaire's? Yes, some of them are but they also earned that money so that's kind of beside the point. Second of all, that's exactly what I'm saying. To earn their next paycheck, they have to be fit & beautiful. That is exactly how they keep themselves "relevant in the only way they know how" (which, by the way, is so rude considering there are plenty of celebrities who have gone through more schooling than most & actually hold substantial degrees). Celebrities are trying to survive, too. But you think they should just do one movie or tour & then retire because they don't "need" any more money? Get over yourself. & if you had actually read my comment, my whole point was to end the comparison. But it's all about who does more, right? You have absolutely no clue. Beyonce, for example, could have, say, a 20 hour work week. She works out, dances, sings & then maybe she goes home & is an excellent mother to her child. She is working to help her family survive. So is the mother who works 60+ hours. Just because your circumstances aren't necessarily as peachy keen as theirs doesn't give you the right to bash anyone. They worked hard as hell to get where they are, & if you don't believe me, become a singer or a movie star right now & change your life forever. It's easy, right? But then you won't deserve your paychecks, either.
@Ride_Every_Stride@xanga - I never said a celebrity doesn't deserve their paycheck. In my article I wrote that when you have a baby, the priority, the focus becomes that child. I'll add that that is a temporary re-focus, but it is there nonetheless.
I am not bashing celebrities. You can read and interpret as you will, but that is not what I said. What I am saying is that it is wrong to pass off your kids for the amount of time necessary for people to accomplish the kind of extreme weight loss and body work it takes to accomplish this ideal image we have created in the media so soon after childbirth. It is unhealthy for the mom physically, and I think it is sad and damaging for the child as well. When you have a newborn you MUST take the time to be with them. Your image? Your aesthetic image? How are you going to tell me that that is more important, even if it is the parent's job to look beautiful?
How would it hurt a celebrity to wait a year? Spend time with their newborns? Actually spend a little effort toward someone else? What is so pressing that they can't wait that amount of time?
The answer can be nothing except pride?
@Ride_Every_Stride@xanga - As a side issue, I worked hard as hell for my career as well. And because it is important, and because we had enough on my husband's paycheck, I decided to quit my job and be a stay at home mom because it was the right thing to do for my children. We could be richer if I worked, yes. But we don't need it. Wants and needs are two very different animals.
@sarahsmurfette@xanga -Oh. My. God. Are you just not reading my comments or are your always so infuriatingly dense? Because from every comment I've seen you write (& I'm referring to pretty much every post you comment on), you seem like a downright idiot. Please refer back to my first comment, where I specifically said that you can't compare yourself to a celebrity because it is their job to keep their bodies up to a certain standard so they spend all of their work hours working on that, whether it be working out, practicing dancing, singing, what have you. But for a non-celebrity (or a professional athlete), our work hours are not as physical & so it is impossible to hold yourself to those standards.
& once again, it is the paparazzi who poisons the minds of the masses, not the celebrities, & if you take it personally then you're simply feeding into it. You're making yourself feel bad. There is a reason why most people don't read or pay any attention to that crap. & if you feel so terrible, take an hour walk after work every day. Are you really telling me you don't have an hour to exercise? & as far as taking a year off goes, what the eff? Are you serious? First of all, it's up to them how long they want to work, & who are you to say they should take a year off?? They love their jobs. They don't want to take a year off. What horrible people they must be, because that's what everyone does when they have a baby is take a year off. & I don't give a shit about your side note. You're happy with that, & that's great for you, but it does not mean the rest of the world should have the same ideals as you. Stop being so damn judgmental; you chose the stay-at-home-mum route, & it does NOT make you better than anyone else.
Seriously. Read. Think. Then respond. Stop arguing with people who are making the same bloody point!
@Ride_Every_Stride@xanga - I don't believe we are making the same "point."
And wow.
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - ... since you can't scroll up & see that yes, we are making the same point; "It's definitely not smart to idealize celebrities & aspire to be exactly like them. The difference? While they have lots of money to shell out keeping their newborn quiet while they work out, this is also their job. So maybe they do spend their few weeks of maternity leave taking care of their babies, but just like we have to go back to work, so do they. & until they start shooting or singing, their job is to exercise all day & get their bodies back to beautiful.But like I said, they have all day to do it- if our jobs involved exercising so many hours a day, we'd bounce back that fast, too."