Wednesday, 06 June 2012
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Nursing in Public
One thing that annoys the living piss out of me is all the sexism against women. There are so many aspects that are institutionalized in our society that even women fall into this trap. Women raving about equal rights in one breath will decry a woman who nurses in public in the next. No matter what American women do we cannot escape the fact that society continues to see us as only sexual objects for only the enjoyment of men. Now, if you (any one of you) wants to only be a sex object, by all means go out and enjoy yourself, but do not subject our entire sex to the shelf of sex toys.Society is really okay with seeing this in public:
Actually, I don't care! I don't care at all, but if this is okay then certainly this should be okay too:
I mean if I have to see this in public, then the rest of society should just quit it about nursing in public!
The bottom line is that feminism is not about women becoming men. It's as much about society accepting the differences between the sexes and seeing those differences as being equal (working dad vs. stay-at-home mom) and acknowledging that continuing to make female boobs taboo at all, is still a great defect in America's fight for sexual equality. Now, I'm not one to say let's make all boobs in public wrong, but more so if man boobs are okay, then so too are girl boobs. And if man boobs are not sexual at all, then certainly we should allow that a woman's boobs are not always sexual and they can and do have a logical, God-given function to feed babies. (I believe in God and don't apologize for it, you may substitute mother nature or nature or the powers that be or whatever for God as you read this.) It's about accepting women as people, not about allowing sex objects a voice.
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About the Author
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- From: TiredSoVeryTired@xanga
- About Me: I'm tired of being tired.
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Comments (33)
If I could rec' this 100 times I would.
finally.. a well written to the point post about this.
"No matter what American women do we cannot escape the fact that society continues to see us as only sexual objects for only the enjoyment of men."
I think you hit the nail on the head. Except that I think women could escape being viewed as sex objects if they would stop playing the part (I say this with compassion, not judgement. Women and young girls who use their bodies this way are not emotionally healthy, and that's not their fault), and human trafficking-- women and children forced into pornography/prostitution/sex slavery-- would end. It is a vicious cycle.
@PreMommy@xanga - I disagree! Men are sometimes seen as sex objects when they decide they want to be one (men taking their shirts off in movies for no reason), yet men aren't seen as only sex objects.
I think the issue gets confusing. If I show some cleavage am I trying to be seen as a sex object? Or is it 110 degrees outside? Male models take it off too, Playgirl, but still society doesn't objectify men as a group. I don't know what the solution is, but if some women want to strip naked and get paid a load of cash to pose nude in a magazine, that should not be used as an example that all women should be treated as sex objects.
I'm unsubscribing from "momaroo" just from reading this post. Just for the record - Jack Nicholson is the fucking man.
@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - I agree with you, I submitted the "Breastfeeding at a Wedding" post, and a lot of people misunderstood the point I was trying to make. Women and breasts should not always be viewed as sexual, and I definitely believe nursing in public should be a personal choice. Using the word "allowed" in reference to being able to or not sits wrong with me, they shouldn't need permission. If I wear a low neck-lined dress to work, when it's 30+ degrees Celsius without the humidex and my store has ZERO air conditioning, it isn't because I want to flaunt my chest, its because one of the most uncomfortable feelings is sweaty boobs and it will look weird if I have to keep wiping my cleavage!
@Trueinnerbeauty@lovelyish - lol Well, I don't think that woman should have been criticized for where she chose to nurse as she probably was thinking it was out of the way. Apparently, she would have been better off staying at her table. I don't know.
But as for 30 degrees Celsius, I guess that's super hot and I agree a woman shouldn't be judged for not wanting sweaty boobs!
@aheartofglitter@xanga - He is the man! Well, one with some man boobs!
I love this post, nuff said!
@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - The difference boils down to men being visually aroused, with even little stimulation. Women are not wired to be visual. That's why bikinis are acceptable in society and Speedos are not. lol
Women the world over tolerate temperatures beyond what we even have in America with a heck of a lot more clothes on. Women didn't start showing more skin because they were hot, they started showing skin because they wanted to be perceived as "hot." We women gain a lot of our positive feelings about ourselves based on what other people think about us, and men's reactions to us are the most desirable (read: affirming) of all.
Your statement, "but if some women want to
strip naked and get paid a load of cash to pose nude in a magazine, that
should not be used as an example that all women should be treated as
sex objects." shows a lack of understanding about the pornography industry and how it is linked to human trafficking and a myriad of other sad, sad problems. This article covers it and shows some statistics: http://www.examiner.com/article/porn-stars-are-abused-and-are-human-trafficking-victims
Education is power.
@PreMommy@xanga - My problem with what you said has a lot to do with personal responsibility. This whole pre-wired stuff, to me, is used as an excuse to behave in an inappropriate manner while saying, "hey, it's not my fault. I was born with a penis." As though that were relevant.
I also don't buy that the porn industry, strippers etc (which I don't support and do think is unhealthy), is responsible for human trafficking. Again, personal responsibility.
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - I think you took what I said out of context. I'm not excusing any man, I'm saying making boobs socially acceptable to show off is not the problem, because that doesn't address why there is a difference between men as sex objects vs. women as sex objects. I hope that makes sense. Your reply confused me a little, as it didn't address the point I was trying to make originally.
If you don't know that the porn industry is responsible for human trafficking (not the beginning of it, the continuation of it, in part) then you've buried your head in the sand. Try attending a Justice Matters conference and be educated on the topic. IJM.org deals with it internationally (a lot of which ends up here in America), but there are FBI task forces in every major city that are busting it on a local level.
@PreMommy@xanga - I don't know about you, but I can get highly aroused by a man's forearms and his voice. So, don't tell me I'm not visual or have issues about thinking about sex based on what someone looks like. Most women I know and have talked to about this are the same way. And granted most women are worse than me in this matter!
A man's so-called motivation to sin is simply not my problem, whatever it is that I may or may not wear. I don't care if women a generation ago began to show skin to be sexy or not! I was a child of the 70s/80s and we wore tube top and short shorts because we were hot in the summer. Likewise, I wore snowsuits to play in the freezing snow.
Playboy and the porn industry probably have a lot of connections, I'm sure. Continuing to treat breast feeding women as sexual displays helps and encourages things like the sex trade because it keeps women in the position of having bodies that are only good for having sex. I know the evils of the sex trade, and the prudes aren't the ones hurting it, they are helping it by keeping a woman's breasts taboo and sexual.
@PreMommy@xanga - Women can't show their boobs in public because they are "sex objects" only for the pleasure of men. Women aren't supposed to use their boobs to feed their babies because boobs are for men in this society. That keeps women as sex objects because it objectifies us and refuses to acknowledge that while our breasts can be sexual, they actually have a good purpose that doesn't involve men at all.
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - I'm pre-wired to jump men with hot forearms and impregnate myself several days each month!!
***Needless to say, I hate the stupid "guys are pre-wired" to be idiots excuse. We are all pre-wired to be sexual. Yes, perhaps men are more visual (I've never been a man so I can't say) but women tend to be more about audio. Either way, I don't insist men cover their arms and not talk in public in case it makes me horny.
Loved this post! I'm so tired of this argument. I actually debated with my brother the other day about it & he told me he doesn't have a problem with it right now but would when he had kids because he wants to have control over what they learn & when they learn it & doesn't want someone exposing his kid to something he may not be ready to talk to them about. I'm not a mother but basically I told him he probably won't ever have that kind of control, however, he is probably going to be the one his kids ask, "What's that?" so he can answer with whatever he wants to.
I just think Americans can be "too prude". They're breasts, every single human being has them (unless you're defective..) & though it's more aesthetically pleasing to see them bursting out of a bikini top or shirt, ultimately they are for feeding our children. Therefore.. pointless argument is pointless.
@PreMommy@xanga - I don't know why the fact that I disagree with you gives you permission to insult me. Buried my head in the ground? Need to educate myself? Attend a Justice Matters conference? Good luck getting me to do that one, dear. I tried looking up that organization and can't even say for sure what you're referring to. Most of what I saw was in California (is the organization you're referring to slavery no more?). So if you're suggesting I hop the nearest flight to Cali in order to "educate" myself? I'm sorry but I'm going to have to laugh at that.
You have no idea what my experience or education is in this, so don't insult me simply because I don't have the same opinion as you. That shows as much disrespect and disregard for me as a human as any thing else. How's that for human rights?
I agree with you, @TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - Treating breastfeeding as something that should be hidden and private inherently gives it the connotation of being something dirty. How else could it be perceived as dirty if not sexual? And how could nursing an infant be perceived as sexual unless we simply see the breasts as sexual organs?
It is an innocent, loving act between a mother and her children. There is nothing shameful about it. And that is why no one should be forced to hide themselves to do it.
Some breastfeeding I've seen in public is not so intimate or beautiful.
How about inside a public library in the kid's area, where I saw it ?
Where do you draw the line ?
Women with fake boobs, blobs of flesh hanging over their pants, and camel toes, choose to be sex objects. That's what it's about for them. It degrades the rest of us who spent years improving our minds and making careers that matter. It degrades those of us who chose to raise children in a respectful way. By degrading your body, you aren't showing respect. You are showing you need attention because of the lack of it upstairs. And the kind of people you may get attention for may or may not be healthy for you. It's wrong for serial killers to kill prostitutes. They are worthwhile human beings. But, statistics show us that that group of women suffer from those animals far more than the rest of us.
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - I definitely don't see it as sexual. Invasive perhaps. I know MILK does a body good, but talking on the cellphone while you have your breast exposed and the kid has fallen off and is wailing in her arms, ignored by the Mother as she continues to chat on her cellphone. I've seen this happen over at Ridgmar Mall in the cafeteria area twice now, different woman each time.
I just wanna go over to her and swing an imaginary bat in front of her and yell, "One out !"
Totally agree with Pollypinks. I'm more interested in what a woman thinks that what she wants others to think of her.
@dw817@xanga - Some people do things poorly, no matter what that thing is. It seems like the mothers you saw carelessly speaking on their cells while breastfeeding were poor examples, and I'm sorry they weren't more aware of their surroundings.
It is unfortunate that people and situations like that (or worse) make it harder for those of us who would do it conscientiously.
@Pollypinks@xanga - I don't think fake boobs are always gotten from a desire to be a sex object. I also think your stance is very harsh. Some people cry out for even the wrong kind of attention not from lack of mental acuity but from lack of loving life experiences. That is not always their fault. Some people are the product of their environment and if they know no better, who are you to judge them for being and doing what they think is normal based on the only thing they know? How much better would it be to teach them to respect themselves, rather than to further insult them by questioning their intelligence?
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - Well, it's certainly not the first time. I was in the mall with Chris and we were passing by a doughnut shop and there was a woman, on her cellphone and her little girl in a chair adjacent was standing on her head in her seat next to her, and I guess she was about 6-years old.
And she was showing her undies to the world in her - position. I asked Chris should I say anything to the Mother ?
He sat and watched for a moment. The little girl kept saying, "Lookit me Mommy ! Lookit me ! Look look look look look look look look ... ??? look !"
The woman on the cellphone clearly wasn't even looking, in some kind of argument on the phone it sounded. Finally Chris said, "Nope. I wouldn't say a thing." So we walked right on by as the little girl continued to air out her undies to every passerby.
And I tell you something, I never blame a child when they act like this, I blame the parents, every time.