Wednesday, 30 May 2012
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Gender Reveal Parties: Obsessive? Trendy? Cute Idea?
A friend's pregnancy and upcoming "gender reveal party" has made me aware of this new (?) trend-- a party where all the friends and family are invited to come and witness the parent's discovery of the unborn baby's gender.
When I found out our friend's were planning one, my first reaction was confusion (why would everyone else care?), and a feeling that perhaps these parents-to-be were wrapped up in their own little world a bit much. The baby's gender doesn't affect any of the rest of us, and personally I'm a more private type, so I wouldn't be inclined to share every detail of everything with all my friends and family. So I'm really curious how other people perceive these parties.What do you think? Parents wanting as much attention as possible? Cute trend? Would you plan one for yourself? Why/why not?
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About the Author
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- From: PreMommy@xanga
- Name: PreMommy
- About Me: I am a fairly-newlywed with a heart for kids. I blog about the things I'm thinking about and doing to prepare for becoming a mommy, and welcome readers who are in the same boat, and also experienced parents! We are now expecting our first baby in May 2013!
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Comments (50)
I wouldn't do it myself just because I can't keep a secret for very long after I know it. & I've never heard of ones where everyone watches the parent's find out, I think that's a little too much because that should be a private moment & watching someone hug & cry is just a little uncomfortable, even if it's happy crying. That being said, gender reveal parties where they know the sex already seem really cute. After all, you're going to the party anyway and let's face it, they're not always the most interesting. & there's always silly little games you play anyway so why not theme the party on a little game? I mean, these parents realize no one is on the edge of their seats waiting to hear the sex of their baby, but it's a special day for them regardless so why not try & make it kind of special for the guests, too? If I were a guest to one of these parties, I would think it was pretty cool. Adds a little mystery & excitement to the event.
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - Rude. It's not like they think of themselves as self-important & haughty. They're excited about it, want to celebrate & so do their friends & family. Sure, a few out of the bunch may not care but we think about ourselves pretty much all day every single day.. so some people just won't mind giving up a day to think about someone else & celebrate, laugh & rejoice in the happiness of someone they love.
I think it depends entirely on the family involved. It would be a really cool thing to do this at a shower, I think.
good excuse to party :]
I think it's just another fun way to celebrate the baby :) I helped throw my best friend a gender reveal baby shower. Only our friend and I knew the sex and we put dozens of balloons in a big box for her and her hubby to open as the big reveal. We even found adorable baby shower invitations from Shutterfly that are gender neutral for the reveal. It was really exciting for everyone at the party and it was so amazing to be involved in such a big moment for the couple!
Baby's gender (if I ever have one) will be "revealed" when s/he enters the world. It bugs me when people make a point to find out, and irritates the hell out of me (and seems... inappropriate?) when they get hung up on it - "Come on baby, spread your legs." Um... what???? "Well, at least it's a girl."
@Ride_Every_Stride@xanga - I wasn't rude. I declined the invite to the party because I did not share the joy and wouldn't want to diminish their joy.
And about putting aside a day to rejoice in the happiness of someone they love? This couple invited around 100 people to the party. It was not an intimate get together of people who care deeply about each other. I think that was part of what was so tacky to me about it - the assumption that all of these people were sitting of the edge of their seats to find out whether their child was going to be a boy or a girl (based on an ultrasound which is sometimes wrong). All of the games at the party revolved around it, it was the theme of the party. And it is also not their first child, if that makes any difference.
I think it was over the top and indulgent.
And I hope they like that their son's wardrobe is entirely yellow and green since nobody knew the gender before they went gift shopping.
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - Calling the them self-important & haughty was the rude part. It's unfair to judge a theme of a celebration or the people who partake by a bad experience you had. I think the couples expect yellow & green clothing though, & as far as 100 guests goes, I would find that self important & haughty, not the idea of parents wanting to celebrate using this idea with close family & friends. But the first part of your comment seemed to be directed toward the people who do the parties in general, not a specific person, & that's why I said it was rude. I mean, not everyone is going to go over the top with it, you know? Also, the part of my comment that was not directed toward you or the people you were speaking of, it was in response to the article.
It's a cute idea for a baby shower. I am waiting on Medicaid to find out my baby's gender (My stepdad's insurance that I'm covered under randomly took away my prenatal coverage!
) but I don't think that I would be able to keep it a secret that long. I don't think I would have a party soley for that, though. I'm too broke and friends and family are too spread out.
@VampireOfSeduction@xanga - It's really important for me to find out early for practical reasons. I have to invest money for him or her way before she is born gradually due to our low income. Some people cannot afford surprises. Otherwise, it does make sense to wait... Less ultrasounds that aren't necessary causing less potential harm to the baby.
My S.O loves the idea of this. We don't have any children yet, but he caught a youtube video of a gender reveal party and asked me about it. He is a social butterfly and would want to share the experience with everyone.
I, on the other hand, am a private person.
We agreed to have our private moment just us and then plan a BBQ for the rest of the world lol.
And since it's come up, I would want to know the gender of my child asap. I like to plan ahead for things.
@PreMommy@xanga - I think I get what you mean... Sometimes people do that and the only way you know is by that feeling you get so it's hard for some people to see where you are coming from. lol
I get what you mean though. It's like a person who pretends to be sick when their partner is sick and getting more attention. (I know a few people who have done that.)
@olifant@xanga - Unless you specifically WANT to go over the top w/ pink lace crap, I'm still not seeing the necessity. (But maybe that's because I hate girly frou frou-ness anyway.) There's a lot of gender neutral stuff available, and an infant isn't going to care if he's wearing pink or she's wearing blue. I have a pink cloth diaper and a black dragon one (more diapers in progress) that I've made. I'll use them for a girl or a boy. If you happen to see a "turtle" or "hamburger" while doing a health check ultrasound, I don't have much objection to that. I don't think people should get extra ultrasounds or waste time or poke a baby trying to get it to move so you can get a clear view, especially if there's someone waiting.
Mostly, it makes me sad when people get fixated on it being one gender or another. You should be happy for a healthy child and not disappointed when it isn't the gender you'd want. My parents say you bond better if you don't know in advance. If you have a preference, you leave more room for disappointment, whereas if you wait until baby is born, and it isn't what was preferred, I'd think you'd still be overjoyed at seeing your child, and less disappointed about what's between his/her legs.
I like the idea, but i wouldn't have one. With my son i just text everyone on the way home then announced it on FB for everyone else. But i had thought about just my husband and I finding out the gender then throwing a small party with family and handing out pink or blue gifts for them. Such as a pink tshirt that says "Worlds best grandma", or a blue coffee cup that says "Greatest grandpa". That way they're all surprised with gifts and the gender!
Or even holding off telling anyone until you send out baby shower invites, then making them pink or blue that way everyone knows when they get it.
I personally have a hard time holding in exciting news, haha. So i'll probably just telling everyone as soon as i know like i did last time. :D
I wouldn't be into it mostly because I'm not into planning parties. Besides being told one way or the other isn't a 100% guarantee. I mean, what if you throw this big party for friends and family to find out you're having a boy and then give birth to a girl. Sounds like the things soap operas are made of and not something I need to turn my life into. Then you'd have to deal with gender disappointment not just between the you and your spouse, but you're whole family too. There's nothing more annoying than telling someone you're having one gender and having someone comment, albeit indirectly, their preference for the other. Baby gender is like the weather, we have no control over it and yet people think they have the right complain about it when it's not what they want. It's so very sad.
Anyway my point is that I think throwing a party can set some or a lot of people up for disappointment that they have no business feeling in the first place. So why bother?
@Morbid_Whisper660@xanga - That is a really sweet idea! And brings up the point of who is the party really for when they're throwing these gender-reveal parties (which kind of shows where the two sides of view come in-- some of us view them as selfish, some of us don't)? I think that's what it boils down to for me, and why I am more opposed to them (at least thrown in the manner of the one I've been invited to).
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find a pink or blue shirt for the party tonight (despite having no preference...).
Doing a little something for those closest to you is no big deal and kind of cute, many grandparents, aunts/uncles and very close friends care very much what the baby is.
Have huge to-dos for everyone in your life, and inviting them to the ultrasound are a bit much.
I hosted a shower for one of my best friends and she and her husband had no idea the gender until the birth, people would call and email me and accuse me and the parents (the couple having the baby) of knowing what it was and not telling them and how unfair we were being.
I don't care what others do, if it isn't something that I want to be a part of I won't take part, they ask my opinion I will give it, good or bad, I'll just be delicate about it.
One of my coworkers was pregnant just awhile back and chose not to know the sex of the baby beforehand. There were some people who were peeved by it, because it meant they didn't get to know the sex of the baby, either. I don't think it's really parents wrapping other people up in their world, it's just that everyone gets wrapped up in babies.
Good idea...something new!
I think it would be weird as a party on it's own. However, if someone incorporated this into a baby shower or something I think it'd be kind of cool.
@VampireOfSeduction@xanga - i dont want the baby's room and closet to look like someone vomited pepto bismol all over the place. there is a necessity for me. for a little bit of example, i have 3 little brothers who are very young and my parents still have there baby clothes. if its a girl, i should start gradually buying now. that's not the only reason, there's so much that goes on when you're pregnant. but, some people like yourself have other opinions. and i am most certainly not going to be disappointed if its one gender or the other, that's rediculous. ultrasounds are used for many reasons not just to find out the gender.. the baby is going to end up being "poked" anyway. i'm not going to make an appointment just to find out the gender because a lot of times they are wrong (i was a boy, apparently), and like i said id rather save my money than pay for another appointment. but don't assume too much, most people just want a healthy baby whether they find out before or not.
@LadyGwenivere@xanga - I like the way your friends did it. At the baby shower and no one knew. I would go to that one. I would have liked to do that with ours. Sounds a bit fun but not sure I could wait much after the ultrasound. But one for just the baby's gender with parents already knowing more of a all about me moment. Unless you had a really large group of family and friends who where all into the whole new baby thing. Which we don;t so it seems to much for me.
@happykidlets@healthkicker - it was a pretty small gathering, maybe 10 of us total? The best part was when they found out it was twins.. he cut into the cake and was like "I think you made a mistake? it was supposed to be pink for a girl and blue for a boy, not a layer of each remember?"
and the midwife said "no, she got it right. 2 babies, two layers"... it was great!
@LadyGwenivere@xanga - that is awesome..
I wouldn't call it a party, but after my husband and I found out what the gender of our child was. We invited my parents & siblings and his parents & siblings over for a light dinner that night so we could share the verdict with everyone at once. I baked a cream filled cake and dyed the cream pink to signify we were having a girl. Of course all involved would have reacted exactly the same regardless of the color of the cream however, it was a fun and cute way for us to share with everyone all at once. We will probably do something similar in the future for our next child. I do not feel that this example is for attention but rather a fun way to share with those closest to us and our child.
Eh, I think throwing a huge party is excessive. I know I one girl who threw herself one of these things and actually had "team" shirts printed for you to wear to the party. Seemed obsessive and wasteful to me. Who wants to wear your baby name shirt any other time, especially if they were " on the wrong team". Something very small might be ok but these huge affairs I dont like.