Tuesday, 29 May 2012

  • Tell Me Tuesday: Do Your Children Get Along?


    Those of you with more then one child - do they get along?

    Are you always playing referee? I feel like all I'm doing is telling them to break it up, stop pushing/pulling/shoving/grabbing, etc. Is it just an age thing (one is 7, the other is 13 months)?



    How do you handle the bickering and whining when one is mean to the other?

Comments (13)

  • MommaFish89@xanga

    Ha! My boys get along when one of them hurts the other into tears and then they feel bad. Lol. 

  • sarahsmurfette@xanga

    Mine play all the time and love each other, they share a room and sometimes sleep in the same bed because they want to. My kids are 6 and 3. 


    However, when it isn't happy happy, joyjoy, yes, I feel like I am always playing referee. And it sometimes makes me lose my marbles.

  • Mansonschicks@xanga

    I don't have kids. But, coming from a family with 5 kids ranging (at the moment) from 14 to 28, it depends. My brother and I are 1 year apart and we have pretty much always gotten along but we are the only consistent ones. But, my sister, who is 5 years older than me was always a terror, until she had kids of her own. I believe that the closer the kids are in age to each other, the closer they are as they grow up because they are growing together, not separately. Also, the further apart, there could arise some serious jealousy issues.


    *Just my two cents*
  • grizzlybearr@xanga
    They have their moments but ultimately no. Lol. My son is 3 1/2 and my daughter will be 1 June 9. The problem is simply that my son is still jealous. We try to divide attention ad make it fair but he just gets so angry at her. I'm hoping it at least gets a little better.
  • happykidlets@healthkicker

    Nope. My kids love each other. They get along great, they are 3,6,7,10. They play great well. They have their moments far and few in between. My three girls share a room my son has his own room Which he only uses to sleep in. We have actually considered making one play room and one sleep room. But our one daughter is getting a bit older. We do everything as a family though. We have family meals, and Sundays are Family day. 

  • mommalosingit@xanga

    I have 5 year old twins and a baby that will be a year next month. Both obviously get along {spoil} our baby. Alex and Olivia (my twins) always got along wonderfully. I never heard fighting until about a year ago. And even now it's not as much as I've seen my friends kids. Usually we try and let them work it out themselves but if they are hurting each other or just keep bickering we intervene. If they have hurt each other they must go to time out and then we talk about the situation.

  • biggirlsdontcriyiyiyi@xanga

    I don't have kids, but from my Nanny days, it seems that the bigger the age gap, or the smaller the age gap... they tend to fight more. I know that doesn't leave much room, but that is what I experienced. My sister and I (being 18 months apart) hated each other until we got to middle/ high school. My moms friend has kids who are 11 years apart, and I don't think their relationship will ever recover.

  • rachmorgan01

    I have 3 kids who range in age from 2 to 5 1/2. Most of the time, they all play pretty well together, but there are plenty of moments where they are yelling, screaming, hitting, teasing and stealing toys from each other. We encourage them to work things out on their own, and only intervene when the bickering continues or escalates to violence. We then separate them, issue time outs, and sit down and talk about solutions when everyone has had a chance to calm down. If the problems keep arising, we make them play alone for a while.

    The age difference could be playing a role here: If the 7 year old is the culprit, he/she may be trying to assert dominance. I am 7 years older than my baby sister, and I used to try to be the boss all the time. If the 13 month old is the instigator, it might be a good idea to start teaching him/her the importance of sharing and being considerate of the older sibling's space (if you haven't already). Your kids are at two completely different stages in development, and I wouldn't be surprised if that is causing or adding to the quarrels. One of my friends went through this same thing last summer with her pre schooler and toddler. The baby was always stealing toys from her older brother and messing up his room. In retalliation, the older child would lash out at his sister by ripping toys out of her hands, pushing her, and teasing. I told my pal to start teaching her baby to respect the older sibling's space by not letting her go into his room or encouraging her to play with other things while the older sibling is busy and in no mood to share. I also told her to remind her son that his sister is just little, and isn't as great at sharing as he is, and to go straight to her when there is a problem. It took a few weeks, but her kids play really well together, and the fighting is not as constant.

  • galliver@xanga

    My sisters are 5 and 8 years younger than me, and I have several friends with siblings (mostly sisters) around the same age difference (5 to 8 years).

    I feel like most of us were taught around the time the babies were born about how fragile they were and how they needed to be taken care of, then involved in caretaking activities, e.g. watching or holding, running and fetching, playing with and entertaining, reading to them. I definitely remember feeling a sense of pride and responsibility and very little envy or resentment most of the time when they were little (i.e. <2). However, this developed into an 'authority' complex by the time they got older (like 3-5) and wanted an sibling as an equal rather than a superior. My parents explained this but it took me a while to really figure it out, and in the meantime we had lots of conflicts because I was trying to be a 'rule enforcer'. And of course property-conflicts, older sibling being mostly responsible for joint messes, etc. were pretty common ground for disagreements. Unless someone got hurt or something got broken, conflicts were usually assumed to be both parties' fault, and we were sent to separate rooms, or sometimes, corners, until we could get along civilly again.

  • WaitingToShrug@xanga

    I fought ALL THE TIME with the brother who was closest to me in age, until he was about 15. I was two years older than him. I fought a little with my sister (6 years younger) because we shared a room and then a bathroom, and she didn't get the importance of not using up things like my bath salts and perfumes. Otherwise we got along fine. The youngest brother (8 years younger) I didn't fight with, mostly because I was more of a caretaker figure for him.


    Now we all get along great, except that the youngest (now 18) is having some issues.

  • mkfoster@xanga

    I don't have any kids but I have 2 siblings.


     My brother is 30, my sister is 23, and I am almost 20. When we were younger my sister and I hated each other. The only time we got along was when my brother was around because we weren't too found of him. My freshman and sophmore year of high school my sister became my best friend and I still didn't like my brother. Today, I love my brother and we get along since he has moved out. My brother and I both, for similar reasons, don't even talk to my sister anymore.

  • Ride_Every_Stride@xanga

    Lol all kids fight. My cousins were about as far apart as your kids & they didn't like each other for the longest time cuz the oldest was used to being the special one. It helped when we made her feel special, like telling her that her sister looks up to her & she has to protect her. After a couple years they were inseparable, but of course they still fought occasionally.

  • Katie_Gillen@xanga

    I only have one child, but my sister and I were exactly one year apart. My sister and I hated each other all through growing up and aren't any better even now, (I'm 23 and she is 24.) In my opinion she had us WAAAYYYYY too close together. My husband and I have a 5-month-old daughter and we don't plan to have another until she's four or so. I don't wan to have so many kids at once that I spread myself too thin over all of them and none of them get the amount of individualized attention that they really need; not just what I might THINK they need. Another contributing factor to my my sibling situation was that there was also clearly favoritism for my sister going on on the part of my mother. She even admitted that later on.

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