Thursday, 10 May 2012
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Time Magazine Sheds Light on Extended Breastfeeding
“You’re STILL doing that? Isn’t she old enough to stop that? If she can ask for it, then she’s too old!” Yep, I’ve heard them all. My daughter is 13 months old so that means I have crossed the line into, no-mans land, a.k.a. Extended Breastfeeding.
I didn’t plan to breast feed past one year, shoot, I didn’t even know if I’d make it to six months! I’m not a co-sleeping, granola-crunching, attachment parent that people would expect to do something so “audacious” like breastfeed my toddler. I’m just a mom that wants to give my child the best of me.
Breastfeeding didn’t come easy for us. My milk took nine days to come in and my daughter didn’t latch on for nearly two weeks. It took lots of tears, persistence, and hours with Dr. Google to make it through those rough first months of nursing, but we made it. I fought so hard to give my baby the best food in the world, so why the hell would I stop giving to her because of what some ignorant people might say?
The recent Time magazine cover featuring Jamie Lynne Grumet nursing her nearly four year old son made me think about why I am continuing to nurse my toddler and has sparked a lot of debate nationwide.
But, why?
Nursing is the most natural things a mother can do for her child. Some may say that he’s too old, or that he doesn’t need to breastfeed. But who is to determine that? Women have been nursing toddlers since the beginning of time, yet now it is not socially acceptable? I admit that before I gave birth I judged a friend of mine that nursed her son for 14 months. I thought she was a quack! Why would anyone want to nurse for that long, it was weird, unnatural, and made me very uncomfortable when she nursed in front of me! I was ignorant. Ignorant about the tremendous physical and emotional health benefits of breastfeeding. And I recently admitted to her what I had thought about her extended breastfeeding and apologized for my thoughts. Who was I to judge her? And yet here I am in the same position being judged.
I think a lot of Americans are as uneducated as I was and that is a huge problem. So many other countries accept extended breastfeeding as the norm. And yet here, a beautiful magazine cover with a mother nourishing her child is looked at like a freak show. America needs to wake up and support mothers that dedicate themselves to EB for the sake of their children. If more doctors and parents talk about the benefits of EB maybe it would encourage more mothers to EB. Breastfeeding takes a lot of work, dedication, and support from friends and family in order to succeed. I’m so thankful for the Time’s cover picture because it will spark a lot of debate and hopefully get more people to think about what EB means for the child.
As for me and my baby, there’s no end date for our breastfeeding sessions. I’ll continue to nurse her as long as she wants. Whether that be another week or three more years, it’s our prerogative.
What do you think about the Time magazine cover? Do you think it will bring some good light on extending breastfeeding?
How long did you nurse your child?
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Comments (69)
@Ride_Every_Stride@xanga - All I know is that someone researched it and it had to do with the first molars coming in.
As far as a 3-year-old ripping his mother's shirt off. Well, that has a lot more to do with teaching a child manners than it has to do with breastfeeding.
I breastfed my son for a year and now my daughter is 11 months old and is still nursing. The longer you can nurse for the better it is for mother and child, its the most natural way of feeding our children. Its my personal choice to not feed them formula b/c honestly who knows whats really in it and with all the recent recalls I just don't trust it. I also never fed my children "jar food" because if it has a shelf life of three years how fresh can it really be? I invested in a food processor and saved myself a lot of money in the long run. There are many benefits for a breastfeeding mother and although it is extremely demanding it is also a bonding experience. This is just my own personal experience. So the longer a mother decides to nurse for should be up to her and "society" should support her not try to crucify her!
For me, the debate isn't about breastfeeding as much as it's about how inappropriate that photo is. Breastfeeding is fine, but it's not supposed to be a source of entertainment spectacle.
@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - I think you must be confusing my post with someone else's entirely, as mine lacked complaint, and called the photo (the WAY her extended breastfeeding was portrayed) as unnatural and therefore, in appearance, abnormal. The woman pictured even explained in the article that the pose in the photo wasn't "normal" or the way she would breastfeed at home.
I would read more carefully if you're going to try to defend your position against other's opinions. You won't win anyone over to the benefits of extended breastfeeding that way.
@PreMommy@xanga - I nursed my son as he stood all the time. So, I don't find the pose unnatural at all. I'm sorry if I read your post incorrectly. If I'm tired I may do that.
I'm not interested winning anyone over to anything. Extended breastfeeding has many benefits. Some see it and some are too hung up on sex to see it.
I'm not a mental health professional, but I have to wonder if this might mess up the sexual or social development of a child who could remember feeding from mom, at least in a culture that considers these parts of the woman's anatomy private. We all must learn how to integrate society's norms into our psychology, at least to some extent, in order to function, and I think it does children a disservice IF (and I said IF) EB makes that harder for them. Breast pumps seem to be the right option if mom is truly concerned with the health angle.
It's also possible that mom might not want to give up the "special bond." If that's the case, then the mothers who have trouble "cutting the cord" may have their own issues to deal with.
I know for a fact I will be breastfeeding when I have a kid. How ever long my furture child needs it, is how long they will have it. Great topic to talk to the BF about.
@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - Personally I think breastfeeding is fine up till a year, 18 months or so. Any longer than that doesn't make any sense to me. But that's just me though.
I think a child old enough to talk to his friends about mommies "titties" is too old to be breastfed. Face it no matter the benefits, there are also problems it can cause too, and those deserve consideration. If one looks at nature, be it cattle, sheep, or cats, and dogs, there comes a time when nature tells the moms to seperate the children from the breast. If you want to be natural, then follow the examples that nature sets. Where does it end? How many times has anyone seen a year old bull calf come try to nurse and be accepted?
@maryofmagdala@xanga - well thought out answer, thank you for a reasoable approach to a tough subject. Many will thik simply because I am a man that I have no understanding. On the other side of the subject, as a man who has experience with animal breast feeding on a regular basis, I can see the benefits, and the problems associated with this. Saddly it is not all a pretty picture, and as you said in our society there is a psychosexual aspect to be considered. Our Children deserve the best of consideration and reason together.
@bloggicus_maximus@xanga - The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for at least two years, that's a minimum. Breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast cancer for the woman the longer she nurses. It helps to build the child's immune system in ways nothing else can. A child's immune system is not completely built until around 6 years of age. The mother's milk provides antibodies which help to keep a child safe. You don't think those are good reasons? Heck, reducing breast cancer alone should make enough sense for Americans to support nursing until at least age 2.
@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - Meh..... tangerines will work. Now I'm going to think of nipples whenever I see tangerines
I said this on another forum: I am all for breastfeeding, and it's a mom's privilege to breastfeed however long she wishes or feels is healthy for her child.
However, I hate hearing the argument that because it's "natural", healthy, and positive, it's in good taste to splash it on the cover of a magazine. Sex and childbirth are both healthy, natural, and positive human actions that involve private parts of the human anatomy, but under no conditions do I want to pick up a magazine and see someone having sex or a baby exiting the birth canal. I guess I put breastfeeding in somewhat the same category as sex and birth: beautiful, healthy, and normal, but under no conditions for public display.
So in my opinion, breastfeeding is a great thing; posing for the cover of a magazine while doing it... not so much.
i haven't decided what to do yet. i don't find the idea of breastfeeding appealing at all. i was a formula baby, and i had (and still have) a freakishly strong immune system.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - Just don't get caught licking the tangerines in the produce aisle!
Okay, clearly this is something that a needy mother wants. If a grown man can remember sucking his mother's breasts, I think we have an issue of some sort here. It's not meant to tie the child to the mother to that point. I think two years is fantastic, and the benefits are very well known in the scientific community, but I had a dear friend who was having children when I was, 3 decades ago, and this became a deal breaker between us. My husband sitting in the living room having conversation with the two of us whilst our children played, and then her 3 year old undressing her top half and grabbing her breast with his hands and sucking away. I can see the necessity in Africa, for goodness sake, but don't tell me you are doing this for the benefit of your child, who is going to be teased and heckled by his peers when he has a sleep over. Then, he's going to feel like hell, and it won't be his fault, and, those friends of his aren't going to forget it either. Come on, give your kid a social break, and if you have separation anxiety, get some help. And we know from a plethora of research that opposite sex parents need to stop showing themselves to their children at a certain age.
I personally think those who are for EB have a bit of an attachment issue with their kids. Wanting them to stay babies for longer than necessary. One is ideal for me. Two is okay. But anything after that is a preschooler in my opinion. Not a baby.
And anyways, at the age of 4, I KNEW what a boob was. I think I did at the age of 2 when my mom explained breastfeeding to me , because she was pregnant with my sister.
@PreMommy@xanga - I agree with you 100% That cover photo was, in my opinion, completely distasteful. It made EB look disgusting, wrong, and borderline cruel to that child. I have not read the article, and after seeing that picture, I don't really want to....
I think breastfeeding for any amount of time is a personal choice. Some moms choose to breastfeed, others choose to formula feed, and in many cases, some mothers don't have a choice in the matter due to undisclosed reasons. Personally, I feel EB is fine as long as the mother and child are happy, and it stops when the child no longer wants to nurse. I do not feel it is right, and would actually consider it to be a form of abuse if a mother forces her child to nurse when they no longer want to, but if both people are happy, nobody else should be sticking their noses in their business.
I am a mother of 3, and have breastfed and used formula. I had surgery when my oldest child was 3 months old, and after my surgery, it was too painful for me to breastfeed. I pumped so my daughter would be able to receive the benefits of breastmilk even if it was in a bottle, but once it was gone, she was switched to formula. All my children are healthy, but my oldest astonishes me with her immune system. She almost never gets sick, even when there is a bug running through the rest of us. My second child was what we referred to as a "super sucker." His latch was so tight and aggressive, he would make my nipples bleed. He was also very colicky and sick all the time. I pumped for him when it was too painful to let him latch. After 4 months of going to nursing consultants, adjusting my diet, pumping and trying to figure out what was wrong with him (he was finally officially diagnosed with GERD), I stopped breastfeeding, and we switched him to a sensitive formula. He was finally able to keep his meals down, and was a much happier baby. I was sad about once again not being able to breastfeed a child for an extended period of time, but was relieved to see him thriving. My youngest child was a breastfeeding champ, and I nursed him until he was 13 months old. I was prepared to continue, but he gave it up on his own. One day, he refused to nurse, and after a few more days of attempting it, we switched him to a toddler formula.