Thursday, 10 May 2012
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Time Magazine Sheds Light on Extended Breastfeeding
“You’re STILL doing that? Isn’t she old enough to stop that? If she can ask for it, then she’s too old!” Yep, I’ve heard them all. My daughter is 13 months old so that means I have crossed the line into, no-mans land, a.k.a. Extended Breastfeeding.
I didn’t plan to breast feed past one year, shoot, I didn’t even know if I’d make it to six months! I’m not a co-sleeping, granola-crunching, attachment parent that people would expect to do something so “audacious” like breastfeed my toddler. I’m just a mom that wants to give my child the best of me.
Breastfeeding didn’t come easy for us. My milk took nine days to come in and my daughter didn’t latch on for nearly two weeks. It took lots of tears, persistence, and hours with Dr. Google to make it through those rough first months of nursing, but we made it. I fought so hard to give my baby the best food in the world, so why the hell would I stop giving to her because of what some ignorant people might say?
The recent Time magazine cover featuring Jamie Lynne Grumet nursing her nearly four year old son made me think about why I am continuing to nurse my toddler and has sparked a lot of debate nationwide.
But, why?
Nursing is the most natural things a mother can do for her child. Some may say that he’s too old, or that he doesn’t need to breastfeed. But who is to determine that? Women have been nursing toddlers since the beginning of time, yet now it is not socially acceptable? I admit that before I gave birth I judged a friend of mine that nursed her son for 14 months. I thought she was a quack! Why would anyone want to nurse for that long, it was weird, unnatural, and made me very uncomfortable when she nursed in front of me! I was ignorant. Ignorant about the tremendous physical and emotional health benefits of breastfeeding. And I recently admitted to her what I had thought about her extended breastfeeding and apologized for my thoughts. Who was I to judge her? And yet here I am in the same position being judged.
I think a lot of Americans are as uneducated as I was and that is a huge problem. So many other countries accept extended breastfeeding as the norm. And yet here, a beautiful magazine cover with a mother nourishing her child is looked at like a freak show. America needs to wake up and support mothers that dedicate themselves to EB for the sake of their children. If more doctors and parents talk about the benefits of EB maybe it would encourage more mothers to EB. Breastfeeding takes a lot of work, dedication, and support from friends and family in order to succeed. I’m so thankful for the Time’s cover picture because it will spark a lot of debate and hopefully get more people to think about what EB means for the child.
As for me and my baby, there’s no end date for our breastfeeding sessions. I’ll continue to nurse her as long as she wants. Whether that be another week or three more years, it’s our prerogative.
What do you think about the Time magazine cover? Do you think it will bring some good light on extending breastfeeding?
How long did you nurse your child?
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Comments (69)
I definitely believe in the benefits of EB. Do I think the cover will shed good light on it? Erm, No. Americans are too stupid and uneducated and many will write her off as a nut job and that she shouldn't be breastfeeding her 4 year old.
But I would encourage ALL moms to continue breastfeeding for as long as they deem fit. It is, as you say, your perrogative. It would be nice if many other ignorant people would educate themselves on this issue but, sadly, they won't. I have plenty of family members who think it is gross.
And as long as breastfeeding in public is still an issue, this will definitely continue to be an issue. As long as people equate breastfeeding in public to urinating and defecating in public, we have some serious problems.
The lack of education, the lack of any sense at all really irks me.
Just my two cents!
Hopefully, though, some people will get the message!
You go, momma!
Perhaps instead of calling everyone who disagrees with you "uneducated" you should make more of an effort to educate us on what health benefits you actually get from EB that you don't get if you stop at one year....or sooner.
Personally, I could care less if you BF your child for one month, one year, or one decade... Do what you feel is right, and don't worry about what others think. Why do you think people are making such a big deal about it? My opinion- it's because people can't keep their eyes on their own lives. I was not able to BF my daughter and was crushed (she was allergic to my milk- yeah, that happens) but does it give me a right to say if it's wrong or not to BF past a certain age- absolutely not. My daughter is a perfectly healthy 33 moth old, and excelling in education.
This cover is just generating MORE controversy over the topic of personal lives of BF-ing mothers. We're beating a dead horse with a 10 foot pole. Really.
@wretched_epiphany I agree a 100%
This blog pretty much shoved down our throats why EB was so amazing & why it should be done, while calling those of us who don't understand any of the supposed benefits from EB "uneducated." Or perhaps we don't agree with EB? Whatever the case is that needed to call us "uneducated?" Furthermore as was already pointed out..this author didn't bother to give us any points or education on why EB was a good thing. Just their points, their thoughts, their everything - which would be fine normally, had the "uneducated" bit not been snarkily thrown in.
I would love to learn more on why EB is such a healthy thing, & it would have been nice to have learned from this post. Shame the author was too busy ramming it down our gullets & calling those who don't understand or know why "uneducated."
@wretched_epiphany@xanga - Human milk is always better for human children than cow's milk is. A child's immune system isn't fully developed until age 6 or 7. Humans and other primates, in their natural state, will nurse for about that long, 6 to 7 years. Well, shorter for primates but relative of their life span and a human's life span. A woman's body creates milk based on the age of the youngest child nursing. How is does that is beyond me, but what it means is that the nutrition provided is exactly what a child needs, not what a cow gives. Also, breastfeeding helps regulate a woman's blood sugar (especially if she is diabetic) and there's no doubt as to the reasons Nuns have a higher rate of breast cancer. The breasts are made to nurse, and nursing protects them from breast cancer.
@syringesofglitter_x@xanga - If you don't know or understand something that would make you uneducated on the subject. No shame in that. What I see is this author responding to those who have tried to shame her.
I nursed both my boys over two years each. Mostly for health reasons and a little bit because it was free!
It is very sad the silly reactions I got. I wasn't torturing or trying to make my boys gay. And I certainly wasn't trying to make others feel like bad mothers for not nursing.
From what I've read of the reactions on the internet, the cover is only being used as fodder for people who equate extended breastfeeding to molesting your child, but it could just be the sites that I came across. I agree with the women that said the cover makes nursing a toddler look unnatural and weird due to the way the mother and child are posed. No one (that I know of) nurses that way. I breastfed my son until he was 3. I stopped because it was bad for his teeth, he was only nursing for comfort, and it was clear that he wasn't going to chose to stop on his own any time soon. I had mixed reactions from my family. People my mom's age and younger thought it was strange (even my aunt who nursed just as long), and people my grandmother's age and older agreed that I should let him self-wean (and that you are supposed to nurse children until they were at least 2). My husband's side of the family thought it was great and even told me that I didn't have to go into a private room to nurse him but I did anyway once he was older. It would be great if people didn't judge others based on their parenting choices, especially if they aren't hurting their kids.
I've never had the option.. We adopted our son in March (we've had him since he was 6 months old and he is now almost 5) and we have had 11 other foster placements, including the 18 month old baby girl we also plan on adopting... We didn't have the option of BF, only formula.. Do I feel guilty about it? Heck no... Did I get a lot of flack for not "using what God gave me to be a real Mom"? YES! I have been ripped apart, yelled at, cussed out, among other things for "poisoning" my children.
Our son was failure to thrive. The formula his birth mom gave him for those first 6 months was the only food he had because she was on too many drugs to nurse... Sometimes formula is the better option.
Sometimes us moms do not have a choice.
Its my dream that I get to experience motherhood right from pregnancy one day.. including breastfeeding... My SIL is one of the most wonderful Momma's I know...
We, as moms, need to stop being so harsh and judgmental of eachother, assuming that our way of doing things is the best way.. Every mom is different, every child is different. Motherhood is flipping hard enough without us attacking eachother. Lets instead support eachother and embrace our differences.
I haven't read the article in the magazine to give it credit or not, but I think the cover does extended breastfeeding, and attachment parenting, a huge disservice. Because while extended breastfeeding is/can be perfectly normal, the picture makes it look very unnatural, and therefore abnormal. I seriously question the mother's judgement in having her son's face and identity known (was that for her agenda or for his good?), and that choice alone jeopardizes EB being actually promoted. I say BOO on Time magazine for going for shock value, at the expense of a child, instead of trying to actually cover a story that people may or may not have actually learned and benefited from. And I'm coming from a standpoint of NOT supporting/agreeing with attachment parenting, and being neutral on extended breastfeeding (since I have no experience breastfeeding to begin with). I also think it's getting really old how all the media covers is individual people's choices and how we can criticize them. I firmly believe parents are equipped with an instinctual knowledge of what's best for their child, and they need to follow that, while also listening to other's points of view so that the parent's own biases, fears, insecurities, etc., don't jeopardize the "effectiveness" (if you will) of their parenting.
@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - Well obviously the reason breastfeeding is so evil is because nipples.
I breastfed my daughters. I don't care how long other people breastfeed or don't breastfeed. But i sure as hell don't want to see a picture like this. It's just like i wouldn't want to see someone on the cover of a magazine going poop on the toilet. The biggest problem i have is the child. Did that mom not even think about him?? He will be bullied for life....so sad.
@PreMommy@xanga - Were they supposed to use some African or Native South American woman as an example of extended nursing? I see nothing wrong with this picture at all.
@QuantumStorm@xanga - Be honest and fair! Girlie nipples are evil. Man nipples are acceptable even if they are the size of oranges!
@Blonde_elegance@xanga - Perhaps you just think women are sexual objects and good for nothing more than that? He's not sucking her tit, that's what a husband does. He is nursing from his mother.
I read a lot of reactions from people who were in disbelief that a child that big was really 3. My DS was that big at 3. He had latch issues, so I pumped for him-- but I did nurse DD until she was 3.
I hate the push to make this a "controversy." I don't give a fig if you want to nurse your DC until they're 12. Really. Not my life, not my kid, not my issue. I know people who think I stopped nursing DD too soon, and people who think I nursed her too long. Isn't there enough pressure in a mother's life without attacking each other over every difference in parenting style? Seriously?!
(Hm. You could delete nursing and insert homeschooling/co-sleeping/free-range parenting. I guess I'm just a live and let live kind of parent....)
That photograph is hugely exploitative.
@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - I like you.
I'm sitting here basically agreeing with everything you've said so far....
unreasonably strong feelings towards EB, (both ways)! I have a PhD in
immunology and so understand the health benefits of EB, however, while I think
it's sad if a mom CHOOSES not to BF (stronger immune response, fewer ear
infections, less chance of diabetes as an adult, etc.), it is her choice. And
for the mom that fosters and has adopted, you are an Angel and whoever
criticizes you should be ashamed! The Times article was publicized for shock
value and I think closes people’s minds before they ever read the article. I think that BF in public should be
considered normal in our society and the day that you are asked to eat with a
blanket over your head at Ruth’s Chris’ Steakhouse is the day that I will cover
up when I am nursing my children. I am a
very modest person, but BF isn’t about other people seeing you, it is about
feeding your children. The US is unique
in their issue with BF (in public, toddlers, tandem, etc…). Hopefully, we will return to the concept of mothering
and fathering our children.
I didn't breast feed very long at all. My daughter didn't cooperate very well, and trying to find a place to pump at work was awkward. I was relieved when I stopped.
It just seems weird to me and many others because it is out of the norm. I don't think anyone who does it is "wrong." I just wouldn't do it myself. When a baby relies on only milk then it is of course the healthiest option. However when the child is 3 or 4 years old and is eating a variety of food, how much does the breast milk really benefit? And if I believed it was that beneficial, I think I would pump. At the preschool age I think some body parts start becoming private (parents cover themselves), and whether breasts were meant to be sexual or not, they are in today's society. I don't think it is going to change.
Alright.. to each her own, honestly, but I believe that we should go with nature here. Animals stop feeding milk & teach their young to hunt soon after they get suitable teeth & digestive systems to hold solids. Humans should be the same way. On the other hand, if you're going to feed cow's milk anyway, might as well give them something closer to their own biology. But after a certain age don't you think drinking straight from the breast is inappropriate? After all, you don't see older animals latching onto their mother long after they've begun eating solids, right?
@kristinabean@xanga - lol Thanks!
@Ride_Every_Stride@xanga - Most animals I've seen nursing are soon separated from the mothers to be pets. I don't know if the comparison is exact. I believe Dr. Sears researched it and there is a correlation between first molars and weaning. That age is around six for humans.