Thursday, 26 April 2012
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This Is For Alex
This Is For Alex.
He Deserves Better.
This is Alex. Can you tell that he is a member of this choir? Does it appear that the choir even sees him?
I am a Mother of a child with special needs, and my son is in a wheelchair, too.
Our society doesn’t offer many opportunities to disabled children or adults, so when the opportunity comes along it is a blessing.
Alex had the chance to join his peers. He finally had the chance to be a part of the group. Do you realize how rare and important it is to have special needs and be able to participate in a “normal” activity?
The everyday things that we take for granted these people are unable to participate in. This past weekend I took my son to an Easter egg hunt at our church. I figured I could help him get a few eggs and we could enjoy the company of our church family. When we got there the grass was so high that I was unable to push his wheelchair through. He weighs eighty pounds so I couldn’t carry him. He cried because he wasn’t able to play with the kids and we had to leave. Are local parks and pools are not handicap accessible, so I can’t even take him to the park on nice day so we can play. We can’t go to places like Monkey Joes, because he could get hurt. Parent’s don’t invite us to play groups, because they don’t see the point. Our children have very little opportunity for a “typical” childhood.
Alex has most likely been an outsider for most of his life. He is being forced to always look in. Do you see how special it is that he could join the choir? Can you imagine how happy he must have been? Now imagine how he felt when he had to once again sit on the side lines and be ignored. Imagine the betrayal he felt when his choir director and the rest of the choir members pretended not to notice that he had been pushed to the side. Imagine how his Mother felt when she saw her baby being discriminated against. How difficult it must have been for her to not jump up grab Alex and start screaming at the school officials. She didn’t though. No, she held her tongue so she wouldn’t further isolate her child. She didn’t want the injustice of this situation to hurt her son more than it already did. Do you think there should be repercussions for the choir director or other faculty members that were involved with this show?
This occurrence is wrong and continues to happen in our society.
Things have to change. These people go through more than most of us go through in our lifetime. Yet, they are still pushed aside, made fun of, or ignored. There has to be a place in our society for these amazing people. They have purpose. They deserve to belong. There is a boy named Soren Palumbo that gave a speech to his schoolmates several years back. The speech talked about the way that our culture perceives people with special needs. He went on to say that this special group of people are the only group that can’t defend themselves. These people have an innocence they will never lose, yet our society makes fun of them. Why would you attack the defenseless?
How can we put an end to what happened to Alex?
What do you think we can do as a community to embrace and include children and adults with special needs?
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Comments (26)
I wanted to see more on this since I'm a skeptic, and in reality, I had hoped that maybe, just maybe it wasn't true (because I don't want it to be). But it of course is real...
Here's a link with more information, if you want to know more about Alex and his choir. They are in Atlanta. http://www.11alive.com/news/article/235549/3/Disabled-student-sidelined-during-choral-performance
It is difficult to know what should be done to include people with special needs. No doubt by laws and legislation could be changed to make our institutions and public access more inclusive. I think this is happening more in some jurisdictions than others. So systemic change is possible.
But what is much harder is changing or educating or sensitizing all our hearts and minds. Really it shouldn't take legislation or rules for that choir director to see it is plain wrong and mean spirited to leave Alex so out of the choir. Perhaps the only way to make the kind of changes needed at the person to person level is blogs like this one and others where we put a spot light on the cruelty of separating and marginalizing people of special needs--which in some senses include all of us, because each of us is wanting or less than perfect in many ways.
Keep up the good fight, "someday we shall overcome".
Is this a public school? Only then you can say something other wise the handicapped have no legal voice in the private sector. I found out with my son that private school doesn't equate equality for his special needs only public schools have to give assistance. It is a shame that this choir director couldn't just make room in the front. What a jerk.
Things like this make me really sad. I went to primary school with a kid who was mildly disabled, and he was one of the sweetest people I've ever met. He wasn't in a wheelchair or anything as his illness wasn't physically problematic, but he was mentally slower than everyone else and often struggled to understand things, but everyone helped. I think only one person ever bullied him. He was sweet, nice and smart, it just took him longer to understand things.
It's such a shame that some kids miss out on a childhood because of a disability. This kid (his name was Archie), came to my house more than once for playdates, and everyone always invited him to parties and made sure he was included. If six year old kids can do that without having to be pressured into it by a parent, I'm pretty sure a teacher can as well.
My uncle is mentally disabled.
We can volunteer. We can voice our appreciation to businesses who have programs allowing disabled people to work. (I am not talking about, for example, a person in a wheelchair who is otherwise normal and able to hold a job, I'm talking about adults who normally would be seen as unemployable, but who are given relatively simple jobs- my uncle, for example, has been a janitor at Jack In The Box, worked at a pottery workshop, and now does assembly work in a warehouse.)
Most importantly, we can take the time to teach our children to show compassion and kindness, teach them basic manners, and to put ourselves in the other person's place. Social change is brought about by individuals, therefore, we should each work on an individual level with the opportunities we have.
That's really sad. I think what can be done is mostly obvious, but we also have to do it.
@WaitingToShrug@xanga -
Those programs are fantastic. I recently started a program at my work (at a fitness center) that has a group of mentally disables teenagers come in twice a week and help us fold towels. It was near and dear to my heart and I was so excited to see it come into play. They were SO excited to be issued official University ID badges too, it was a delight.
My very first job was also at a gym in sales, and once a week a group of mentally disabled adults came in to use the center, I loved having them there and since then I've done what I could to advocate for groups like that.
I don' get why the choir couldn't have moved over to stand closer to him? Or vice versa their excuse in the article sounds lame. I don't get it.
that's so mean =[
That picture is just very very sad. You can clearly see that the first row of kids is standing on the floor..why in the world would they not have him in the front row with them? It's not like they're in bleachers in a stadium, they're standing on the freakin ground-level!
I recently watched my brother (who is a senior in high school) perform at the Kimmel Center in Philadelphia with his choir. I was SO excited to see another school's choir had a member with special needs. The young lady was in a wheelchair and had obvious developmental disabilities. In a normal high school concert it's normal for teens like her to be present. But this was a very high-profile event-the schools were cherry-picked to perform, and only the best of the best were invited to sing. The young lady didn't seem to do much singing, but it made me SO happy to see her having a good time with her friends, who all supported her by helping her on and off stage and hi-fiving and hugging her once they were done.
Music has incredible healing powers (for the mind, the spirit, the body, and the soul). PLEASE speak to someone in the schools administration or the choir director. Every child deserves the chance to experience music and the arts in any way they choose.
You can make a movement here if this is a public school. What I see is an abomination. He should be right in front of his peers, participating with the group. Take this one to the school board, and I guarantee you, it probably won't happen again. Even if you really like the teacher, you need to make a move, and it needs to be now.
yea man. I agree
its a sad day when someone who spent years to become a teacher to presumably, be around and help children, has become so callus as to ignore a disabled student, but its not uncommon.
3rd-5th grade my best friend was a girl in my class named elizabeth, so we sat next to each other because my name is elizabeth, and she has down syndrome. i helped her with work, we played at recess, and every single saturday i would go over to her house for hours and play with her. i still have everything she gave me, and i still see her or her mom occasionally. we unfortunately went to different middle and high schools, and i got into some pretty serious shit as i got older so we drifted apart. now the point of this story isnt that i was friends with a disabled girl, its what was said to me because of it. not my classroom teacher but my art teacher told me, to my face one day after art class, " dont you think its a waste of your time to be friends with elizabeth?" a teacher, someone who spent year and years and years with children told a child it was a WASTE OF TIME to befriend a disabled classmate. she fortunately was forced into retirement a few years later and is no longer influencing children, but i was appalled then, and i am appalled now at that mans actions towards alex.
that picture makes me sad and angry at the same time.
I'll be a teacher very soon and things like this motivate me to do everything I can for kids like Alex - that is unacceptable!
I would bring something up to the school, any reason he has to be that far away? I say bring that photo to the principal and make them do something about it, because I think anyone with a heart who sees that photograph will be on your side.
That is sad, but like the mother said the boy was probably used to it. Now, the solution here is...
1) Teach the child to say something himself. Any of those other kids if made to randomly stand to the side would indeed say, "Why am I over here?". Teach Alex that he may and should stand up and question a situation like this.
2) Encourage the mother to do it if the boy doesn't! Calmly walk up to the choir director and point out the issue. Seriously, people aren't all stupid but at the same time in a pressure situation like a performance they can become stupid.
3) A student helper, but no classroom aide for the child? At the very least some sensitivity training. I'd reckon the choir director was probably mortified he hadn't noticed the boy off to the side. Let him gently learn from his mistake too. It is difficult to understand the challenges special needs kids face because we don't go around and stop ourselves and think... could I get up there/over there if I were in a wheelchair and couldn't walk.
My 5 year old brother has Duchenne's Muscular Dystrophy and will be in a wheelchair most likely before the age of ten. So this picture made me so mad because it hurt to think that that could be my little brother in just a few years. I will kill whoever tries to do that to him, tries to block him out or discriminate against him because he's "different." He doesn't deserve that, no one deserves that.
Wait wait wait...so I just watched the video, and the director said that a student helper was required to wheel Alex over, but the helper was absent that day.
I mean, I'm pretty sure it doesn't take a genius to wheel someone over in a wheelchair. Seriously.
And then the teacher claimed that he never saw Alex? YEAH OK. How does that even happen? He is clearly blinded by his ignorance.
Idiot.
Ugh, this makes me so mad!
Well, I hope the situation turns around for the better! Alex really does deserve better!
When I first heard this story, I was angered! I had recently been learning about what my responsibility as an educator is and thinking of how his feelings were probably really hurt. And you know what I don't know, but maybe the choir director, just really forgot. I tried to place myself in his position (I am a music education major), and thought, "What if it were an honest mistake... and I am truly sorry that I wasn't thinking?" ... It happens. And yes, if it were to have happened to my child, I would be livid! But God's grace and mercy prompt to think, well what if I was the choir director? How many times have you discriminated against someone, or forgot something important, or left some one out by accident, disabled or not? It is the same thing. No it shouldn't have happened, but unless we know for a fact that he did it on purpose, we ought to be careful...
In my diversity class, we are actually being taught how to handle such situations. It has opened my eyes to the need and also the lack of education in our society. From an early age, we are taught that there is something wrong with the disabled and that we need to stay away. And it isn't right. I have recently become an advocate for the disabled and discriminated. I don't know what that all entails, and am still figuring things out, but I am learning. I even joined the club at school, in order to learn more. And also, I generally have a different perspective than most. Something that I have always believed and believe even stronger now that I have taken some education classes, is that no one should get preferential treatment. The way you interact with each person or student, in this case, ought to be similar, changing only because of learning style and need. Consistency is key and as a teacher, the welfare of all of your students ought to be supreme. Which means including all students in all activities and teaching each other how to do that, even if changes need to be made. I know that I personally, am not always going to always get it right and may do or say the wrong things at times, but I am going to keep trying and try to have patience with myself and others.
I recommend any teachers to read Rethinking our classrooms!!!!http://www.rethinkingschools.org/ProdDetails.asp?ID=9780942961379
@SHEERROSE@xanga - Where Can I find the article?
@KristineBoBean@xanga - Where can I find the video?.. And it is possible. With nerves, anxiety, and excitement, you tend to only focus on the task at hand and not your surroundings and often times you miss people...
@angelicgrl4eva05@xanga - Someone posted it in the comments
@angelicgrl4eva05@xanga - the article and video being referred to. It was the local news feature on the story. http://www.11alive.com/news/article/235549/3/Disabled-student-sidelined-during-choral-performance