Wednesday, 11 April 2012
Have disappeared for sometime because there are so much things happening in my life. It was hell and miserable for the last 10 days.
09th Feb: 9.20pm
Took a walk in the park with WH and the contractions started. I thought it was a false alarm again but half an hour later, the show came. We called the doctor and he told us to wait till the contractions were more intense for an hour before coming down. At 1am, we check into the hospital.
10th Feb: 1.30am
I request for epidural, there were slight relief of pain but I could still feel my legs, they were not heavy or numb fully. I requested for higher dosage and was only 1cm dilated, the anesthetist claimed my threshold level is too low.
10th Feb: 8.30am
Dr Paul came and examined me, he burst my water bag and I told him about the pain, I could actually feel the something he poked inside and he asked that the anesthetist be called to relief. The dosage was increased but I felt giddy and my blood pressure went down. The pain was gone for a while but they came back again,
10th Feb: 12.00pm
The anesthetist came again and he told me to redo the epidural injection. Apparently there seem to be a blockage and the drainage didn't go well through my body. After the redo, my left leg felt totally numb as if I lost my left leg. I could still feel my right and my upper body started shivering badly and the feeling of losing your left leg scares me more than another.
10th Feb: 2.00+pm
I was only 6cm dilated as I wasn't relaxed enough, I wanted to give up but Hao insisted we are almost there, he was with me all the way to manage the contractions as I could feel the full blown of contractions before the 2nd epidural.I swear I was in pain for a very long time. When Dr Paul visited me again, he said that the baby head couldn't pass the pelvic bone, i was given some medication but the baby had a reaction to the medication and her heartbeat went from 130 to 190 for the longest time, the nurse ask me to breathe through oxygen.
10th Feb: 3.00 + pm
Dr Paul came again and said that if this goes on, the brain may be under pressure and it's not good for the heartbeat to go so high so long, we told the Doctor to do what he deemed fit even though my pain was relieved but I was still upset. Started tearing again and worry for the baby. I was offer c-section... however when we went to the operating theater, i could feel his needle prick down my abdomen. The epidural got "stuck somewhere" again. The doctor ask if I want to continue or go under general, however, there will be no turning back. I requested for GA which means WH cannot be there to witness the birth.
10th Feb: 4.16pm
The little "devil" came into this world. Hello World, she weights 4.4kg and 52cm tall. She was a giant and a "screamer" in the nursery. Her name is Zhi Xuan, I call her Xuan Xuan now.
However I suffered from short term memory loss, the anesthetist tried to wake me up but I was in this dream that locked me up 300 years back [some Chinese drama serial I was catching]. I couldn't bring myself back to reality for sometime, I don't know where I was, I was so scared and lost and the first person I look for was my mother. When I saw her, I cried. I didn't want to let her go and I keep telling her I am so scared I can't come back to reality. At that time, I didn't recognize my father in law's voice too and I also forgot that I was at the delivery room. I just keep holding on to my mother. Now looking back, i wonder if it is the effects of the epidural overdose or I was woken up from GA too fast. I had done GA surgery twice before but none felt like this one.
We stayed 3 nights at the hospital and the pain was immense! I was bed ridden for 24 hours on urine catheter and I had to be washed down by a nurse. I keep menstruating and all these had to be changed. I was supposed to get out of bed the next day and when I went to the toilet, I couldn't stand up on my own without feeling a heavy pull from behind like a string caught my tummy back to the toilet bowl. I couldn't walk or get out of bed without much help and requested for painkillers before the medication time.
At night, we sent the brawling baby back to the nursery because we do not know what to do with her. She just keeps crying. Although the nurses let me breastfeed her for a while but she caused my sore nipples. I restricted guests as I needed to put Medela cream on and air my nipples all the time. I startled myself awake at night and couldn't get up properly to even drink water. My tummy felt so weird I didn't touch them for a few days, there were a lot of air and they echoed in my tummy. When I try to fart, my wound hurts. I had a tingling sensation in my throat and coughed, the pain was immense. My mum visited me regularly at the hospital, she checked the food they provided and bought more of her own.
I tried to latch the baby whenever I can but my milk was still not in. Day 3, I managed to hug her close and feel her close to my chest for the first time. Then I felt like a mother myself.
That's my birth story.