Thursday, 15 March 2012
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Do We Really Know Who's Caring For Our Children?
Guest post from Elizabeth from www.rockabyeparents.com
There are so many things to think and worry about when it comes to being a parent. For some of us one of those things is child care. We do our research. We get recommendations from family and friends. Many go online and search the names of caregivers. We also trust the rankings and licenses given to the day care facilities by our states. But, do we really know the people caring for our children?
Dateline recently aired a new episode about day care facilities and the people that work at them. What they found was that many states didn’t stop people with a shady past from working at day cares. They found a day care staff member that had left her own child alone in a sweltering hot car, a staff member that had beaten her own daughter, and even someone that had shot and killed their own husband. These should not be the type of people that states allow to watch our children.
The Mintens used the regular checks when choosing a day care for their two children. At first their son loved going to day care, but as time went by his attitude towards it started to change. He would cry when his mother dropped him off at day care. She was concerned by her young son’s behavior, but everyone told her separation anxiety was normal, so she let it go. Then they got a call that their son had had an accident. It turns out that the caregiver had duct taped their sons hands and face to keep him from misbehaving. He fell, hit his head, and ended up in a coma. Sadly he did not survive. The parents later found out that the police had been investigating the caregiver for years for child abuse, but the state had let her continue to run her daycare, and had even given her a good ranking.
When applying to work in the schools I had to be fingerprinted and have a background check run. Had something bad come up on my record I would not have been allowed to work at any school. All parents would expect this from the schools, so why would states allow anything less for their day care facilities? The Hansen Files found that only 11 states require comprehensive background checks of day care employees. Really, less than 25% of the states in our country care whether the people taking care of our children have criminal records or not?
As parents we should not stand for this. Our children our precious to us. I know that my little guy is everything to me. Even watching the report was upsetting because the thought of someone I trust hurting my child makes me ill. Some of us work because we have to, others because we want to, but no matter how you feel about working you should be able to go to work knowing your child is safe and happy.
When choosing a day care do your homework and research all that you can. Go to different online background sites and run multiple searches. Do unscheduled drop in visits. Do all that you can to find out who you are really leaving your child with. If nothing else this report has taught us that we need to listen to our instincts and not blindly take the advice of others when it comes to something so important as our children’s safety.
To view Dateline's list of warning signs and information on how to research your day care facility go here: http://nbc.clientmediaserver.com/dateline_daycare/index.html
You can watch the episode here (they don’t go in order, so you do have to jump around the listed clips): http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/the-hansen-files-investigates-day-care/6784gw6?cpkey=6a80dd4a-e70d-4295-9dc0-68b6178e3035||||
Did you watch this episode of Dateline? What were you thoughts?
If this is your first time hearing about this, same question, what are your thoughts?
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Comments (15)
That's terrifying.
When I was trying to find a daycare for my boy so I could return to work, I visited about six or seven daycares. I watched how the children behaved and how the adults handled them. Every one of them left me sorely disappointed. Kids would almost always go in crying, and the adults did very little for them. Many of the older kids played rough, almost violently. Some of the daycares would only change diapers on a time schedule, meaning that a child could potentially sit for up to four hours in a soiled diaper before he was changed again.
In the end, I decided staying home with my boy was the better choice for me.When my eldest daughter was little and I was working, I had only a couple of choices for childcare because of my insane retail management hours (It's still beyond me why the retail industry can't put their employees on a consistent schedule) anyway, during 9 month period of time that I had her in this daycare, I saw her language development come to a halt, potty training regressed, and she became withdrawn and clingy. Of course, she cried when I took her there. The last straw for me was when I came to pick her up one day and she was eating at the coffee table by herself while the family all ate in the dining room. There were even extra chairs at the dining room table. We couldn't really afford for me not to work, but I haven't gone back to work since then. That was 7 years ago.
Is it really any wonder why so many women sacrifice careers to stay at home with their children? I've been reading articles that referred to this trend as an epidemic and I was appalled that it is being referred to as such. Why should I trust someone I hardly know with my children when there are so many horror stories out there? Too many children die or are seriously injured at the hands of these childcare providers and I'm not willing to take that risk.
Would I rather be a working mom? Absolutely! I simply cannot afford to hire the people I would deem worthy of caring for my children.
I am terrified of leaving my son at a day care, I'm lucky to have my own home business. I've never had to leave him with anyone else more than a few times these 3 1/2 years and those times it's been with my mom. Even if someone has a perfect record it's not a 100% guarantee that they're safe/competent, you know what I mean? I hope I never ever have to deal with leaving my kid(s) with near strangers. *shudder*
-Carrie Ann
This is why my husband worked so hard to find a job that could allow me to stay home. I don't trust any of the daycares around here. I read all the stories of kids being abused by workers in the newspaper and I just can't bring myself to leave them with strangers.
My mom does daycare and has worked both in a facility and currently at home. She has to be super careful about what she does because the state will stop by unannounced to do a random check of the home and premises. When I was 18 I had to be fingerprinted to continue living with her. After checking out the sites they suggest, I am absolutely appalled that my state does not check if the provider is a sex offender and a few other. I'm terrified for when I have kids =(
This is one of the reasons my parents have chosen homeschooling and the same reason my sister in law refuses to send my nephews to daycare. We come from a conservative christian family and our parents wanted to instill Godly values into us. Its hard to in the public school system these days.
This is so scary. My bf and I have agreed that when we have children I'll stay at home to take care of them, I just love that idea and hope we can stick to it when the time comes
@carliemgrippi616@xanga - Why on earth would you think it's okay to duct tape a child's hands? Or to treat them badly at all? I don't care if you are manic depressive and hate kids. That comment was totally uncalled for and extremely disturbing.
It's not enough to do your homework. You also need to drop in unannounced for surprise visits. And never be afraid to speak up if something seems amiss. I had to report one caregiver at a daycare. She ended up quitting and moving on (she was a thief).
A good friend decided to hire a nanny. Great references, years of experience, great with kids...but it was on paper only. My friend never checked. I was working with her the day she got the call from a neighbor to come home quick. She had spotted my friend's 4 year old daughter pushing her doll in the stroller on the next road over. No one was with her. The neighbor picked her up and asked where her sisters were. Casidy answered, "I think they are home with Neeny." My friend called later to tell me that she found her middle daughter, Brianna (28 months) playing by the swimming pool (inside the safety gate), and Rowan (13 months) was in the bathtub upstairs. Neeny, was chattering away on the cell phone, to her family in Miami, unaware that Casidy was wandering the streets, and that Brianna was still by the pool.
"I had to call my husband and have him fire Neeny," she told me. I breathed fire, "Why the hell did you call Jeff? I would have drowned the bitch in the pool myself! You couldn't muster the rage to throw that bitch out? She endangered the kids in her care!!"
"Oh, I was mad enough! I could have cried," she admitted, "But Neeny doesn't speak or understand English, so when I told her that she was fired she didn't understand."
The most disturbing thing was that dear Neeny's references and experience didn't check out.
The good news: Neeny ended up going back to Miami. The better news: Neeny contacted Jeff to use him as a reference for a job watching the children of a couple living in Columbia. Jeff promptly deleted the email.
@carliemgrippi616@xanga - are you okay Carlie? What upset you? Send me a private message!-Emery
I'm not really sure what happened to my original comment so I'm just going to repost it.
I'm the neighborhood babysitter. Strangely enough, I have people contact me by phone and just drop their kids off without ever meeting me first. I try to get them to bring the kids before hand so we can talk and visit and I can get to know the parent and meet the kids. But these parents just trust that because I advertise myself as a babysitter that I'm automatically trustworthy. (I am, but some people are obviously not.) It really makes me uneasy when the parents do that, mostly because I know I'm going to have to deal with kids who are being left with a stranger. Some young kids don't handle that very well, though others are perfectly okay with it and that bothers me too. I know which parents I would want to contact about reciprocating the babysitting: the ones who take the time to meet me and my children on neutral ground before leaving their children with me.
And I agree wholeheartedly with Beesuze. It's NOT enough to just research the daycares. I'd recommend going in for an observation. I had to do plenty of them when I was in college to get my early childhood ed degree. I saw things that I really wasn't comfortable with. Children taking off their own dirty diapers and running around nasty and naked (yes, they'll do that but four adults should have noticed), toddlers trying to eat white-out, kids with bleeding heads that received no attention, caregivers too caught up with their paperwork and child evaluations to pay attention to the children themselves. I'm a parent, I understand that kids will get into things and have accidents. But I also know when a caregiver has "checked-out" and isn't doing their job.
And if your child used to enjoy going to daycare and now doesn't, I'd definitely investigate it. It may be something simple and fixable but it could also indicate a larger problem. Kids really are good judges of character and generally won't deal well with people who are mean or inattentive to them. When you go for your observation, watch to see who the kids gravitate to. That will be the person who pays the most attention to them and treats the how they should be treated.
ugh…. its sad that any kid has to deal with that treatment. to think a parent should be able to trust a day care worker and they do that???? ugh…… BOTH PARENT AND CHILD SHOULD NEVER FEEL AT FAULT FOR SUCH ABUSE. THEY DID NOTHING WRONG. children are innocent and don't deserve such treatment. most parents with well intentions, want to be trusting and don't want to think that anybody could harm their kids.
If u can, do urself and ur kid a favor. BE A STAY AT HOME MOM!!!!!!!!! if u cant be a stay at home mom, find a well trusted babysitter. that will ensure ur kids safety. if i had kids, they would be with well trusted adults.
i know this is an old post, but i came across it and think God led me to this post…. just my opinion. have a good day, mothers and God Bless
@greene_lily@xanga - and not to mention…. glad i came across this entry cuz I see my hacker must have left a comment that upset people……. sorry that this person did that. Her name is Leslie Concord and she has impersonated me, for some time and hopefully she won't anymore. I would NEVER think it was ok to hurt kids, in any way. And the comment about godly values, that was also her under a different name!
@PinkGlitter02@xanga - Ah, I see. I've been contacted by several of your friends recently who say the same thing. I thought that "duct tape" comment was a little out of the ordinary for this site, but it was disturbing to read it. Hopefully you'll get the hacker situation taken care of soon. My aunt had a very bad problem with an ex-boyfriend who was also a hacker. I had to set up an account for her to ensure that he wouldn't know any of her information or be able to guess what it was. Good luck!
@greene_lily@xanga - thanks yeah she has so many issues but rather hack peoples stuff than get help..