Wednesday, 07 March 2012
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Leaving Baby Overnight
On a parenting website I'm active on, there was a discussion about leaving your child overnight. I left mine (with plenty of expressed milk, of course) at about four-six weeks with my mother in law so I could go out and have a few drinks and have some me time with my man and some other family and friends. I ended up running from my house to hers after town and staying there though cause I missed him! He's stayed overnight there and with another friend two or three more times since then.
Anyway, some people seem pretty divided on this and someone even said that they think it's wrong that people leave their babies that early on.
Some people on the forum hadn't left their kids overnight with anyone and they're going on three, and other people were like me and had left them overnight in the first couple of months.
I'd love to hear other people's thoughts about this.
How old was your child before you left them overnight with someone else?
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About the Author
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- From: andweknowthis@xanga
- About Me: Hey, I'm a 22 year old mum of one. I'm also a student and work part time, so my life is pretty full on. In my spare time I work out, listen to music, sleep and hang out with my friends. I don't smoke and I rarely drink.
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Comments (15)
My son was 4 months when we went to go visit his paternal grandparents for two weeks. We had a LOT of arguments about it. It's not that I didn't trust them, I just didn't want to be away from my baby. I used to be that "I don't want to leave my baby" type of mom. I didn't care who it was with. I didn't want to leave him overnight anywhere - even with my own parents. However, after that experience, I have become more comfortable. I only leave him overnight with my parents, and I have only done that twice. Once was a surprise overnight trip planned by my BF that I didn't know about (he had asked my parents beforehand) and the other was a girl's night out that ended up lasting longer than I expected. We left him with my BF's cousins one night just because they were begging us to, and they only live down the street.
My BF's parents live in Detroit so when we take my son to visit, he is there for a week or two at a time. It sucks, and I get so lonely without him here, but I know he is in good hands and with his paternal grandparents he has plenty of cousins around his age that he can play with - as opposed to having nobody here. We also Skype/FaceTime daily when he visits just so I can see him, so it's not like he's completely isolated from me.
I think that if you trust someone enough, you should allow yourself to leave your baby overnight every now and again. Parents need a break, too. If it becomes a habit (every weekend, etc.) that's different. When he is with his paternal grandparents, we give them our spare ATM card so they can buy whatever they might need for him.
By the 6 week mark I was MORE than ready to have a night to myself without a newborn. I don't really see an issue with it, especially when left in able hands. You can't lose sight of being the person you were just because you're a parent. That doesn't mean weekend binging, it just means a night out to enjoy yourself.
I think it's crazy to see parents who have gone years without having a night to themselves without kids. I mean, kudos....I guess...but personally, I could never do it. We try to get out by ourselves at LEAST once a month, but generally we like to invite people over so that we can keep the kids in bed and still have a good time.
I didn't have much of a choice to leave my son overnight with family when he was five weeks old. I'd just had my gallbladder removed, and spent two days in the hospital because my iron had dropped so low. When I came back home, my son spent an extra night with my in-laws because my husband was working nights and I was barely able to walk, much less get up for all of his feedings and diaper changes.
I left my daughter ONCE at 6 weeks old with her grandma. We live 15 hours away, and don't see them but twice a year. It was VERY hard... and I don't see myself doing it again.
My son is 7 months old and I still haven't left him anywhere overnight and I don't see it happening anytime soon :) My husband and I are thinking maybe for our 2 year wedding anniversary (my son will be almost 1 by then), but we'll see
My daughter is seven months old and I have never left her overnight. I just don't want to be away from her, and she is needy at night. I don't think it is
badto leave your baby overnight that early, but I couldn't do it. I still didn't want people holding her at a month or two old.
With my twins I waited until they were a year old. But with my youngest we left her overnight for the first time when she was 6 months old. I think it just depends on each parent and child when they are ready.
I am not a mom, but I think its a good idea to leave the baby with their grandparents once in a while. Plus, it gets them used to being without their mom over night. Its not good to do it alot, of course, but I am sure moms would like to get out once in a while :)
My son is 8 months now and I did leave him for two nights with his grandmother, while we made a special trip to the city. Other than that I have left him a handful of times for the evening, but it seems like something always goes wrong when I try to have someone else watch him so that I can have some me time - they get sick, he gets sick, I get sick...
My brother always leaves the kids at my mom's for the weekend with everything they need, we have so much fun!
My brother and his wife don't leave the kids overnight with anyone but my parents (i live with them and 4 other siblings) They are missionaries who go to college campuses and stuff for conferences alot and have a 1 and 3 year old. Until the 3 year old was about a year old, they would invite me along to watch the baby while they did their conference stuff. When they had their second child, they did the same thing for about a year where they had me go with them and babysit :) I would say wait until they know who they are with.
Man, I feel like a terrible mother now. I just had my first and he stayed overnight for the first time at 3 weeks old, to be fair this was with my parents, who only live five minutes up the road, and I called up to give him a bedtime cuddle and kiss. To be honest I trust them more than I trust myself half the time, and much as I love and miss my little man, I believe he should have the chance to get to know his grandparents early, as with both sets of them living within five minutes of us they will be a huge feature in his life and I think it is good for him to not be with me 24/7.
Much as it might leave me sitting in his room smelling his clothes at 2am.
i hate kids. i say leave them in a closet over night. dont leave them with anyone but them selves. they make me panicky. i hate kids and they make me cry and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry