Monday, 27 February 2012
So with my son, I really did try to breastfeed. I just find it weird. Call me whatever you want, I've heard it before, but I felt weird. Some people had the nerve to tell me I wasn't a real mom because I didn't like the idea of a child sucking on my breast. Screw them. It's not their body. I know some women have it naturally and enjoy it, but I didn't. Does that make me love my child any less? Hell no. In fact, half the mothers I know that breastfed are some of the worst moms, but they feel they earned brownie points because they breastfed. Another story.
Anyway, I used a pump (a very expensive Medela) for the first few weeks and made sure he got that 48 hour colostrum. I tore, bled and eventually the pump was filling with more blood and milk -- not good. So I began to cry every time I had to do it to the point I was miserable. My husband at the time (ex now) would make me feel guilty, so I kept with it, even though I really didn't want to. Until, we went to the pediatrician. She said she hated people who made mothers feel guilty. Yes, breastmilk was best, but formula was not going to kill a child, yet people see breastmilk is best and therefore judge those who do formula. She said what is best is a happy, healthy and comfortable mother in her opinion. She said your little one picks up on your stress and anxiety. She also said that most new mothers don't have the best diets; therefore, sure they are giving them breastmilk, but if they aren't eating properly that breastmilk isn't all it's chalked up to be.
She preferred formula because it gave babies a consistent amount of food each time (which you can measure -- can't do that from your boob) and calories and nutrients as well. My ex shut up right there and I switched to formula. My son is healthy, happy and extremely smart. He's more than surpassed the milestones and I would say he didn't even get the equivalent of 9 oz. of breastmilk his entire life.
Now, this time around with baby #2, I don't even want to try. J is a little bummed I won't try, but he knows I would never do anything to harm my baby. He was upset I wouldn't even give the first 48 hours. So I haven't told him yet (he's on duty), but I will pump that out at least. After that I'm going straight to formula.
I brought this issue up to a few friends I knew and one of them had the nerve to tell me I should see a counselor for my dislike of breastfeeding. Excuse me? It's a personal choice. My body. Doesn't mean I have a mental issue. I just don't like the idea of a baby sucking on my breast. I was willing to pump, however my rack isn't built for pumping -- according to a breastfeeding counselor. I love it, however, when people start sitting there and telling you that you are harming your baby and they cannot imagine being so selfish as to formula feed. Excuse me?
Anyone remember the 80's? Breastfeeding was considered "bad" and formula was "good" -- all before formula had all the stuff it has in it today. I was formula fed. A lot of people my age were. I think its rude of people to tell me I'm harming my child. No where is formula the devil. It doesn't harm a baby. If it did they wouldn't make it. It baffles me how people have the nerve to say stuff like that. Formula feeding doesn't make me any less of a mother or a good mother at that. If breastfeeding instantly made you mother of the year, then there are some crack addicts in prison or kids in foster care who could easily disagree. Formula doesn't make me love my kid or treat them with any less than they deserve and people who make it seem that way honestly are going to go through life with tunnel vision and I pity them.
Did you breastfeed or formula feed? Were you judged on your decision?