Tuesday, 21 February 2012
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What Does An Infertility Doctor Do?
This meme is everywhere! Some of them are funny, some are a bit more serious, some are actually poking fun at the meme itself. This one is on the serious side and a great look into what infertility doctors do and why (and why couples seek medical attention).
If you have an infertility story to share, we would love to feature it, just use our 'Submit A Post' section!
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Comments (35)
I don't think anybody should get infertility treatments. It almost seems like a sign not to reproduce. There are plenty of kids to adopt, or you could be happy that you have no kids to terrorize your life.
Where do people find these things? I've seen several but don't know where they come from.
@xsimplepleasuresx@xanga - people make them. and the things are called 'memes' they are the representation of a hypothesis by richard dawkins which involved transmission of highly modular information; which is why they look so much alike either with similar format like this article's imbedded image, or with similar cannon/background like this one or these
I'd personally just adopt if I had fertility issues. Power to those who have thousands of dollars and patience to undergo infertility treatment.
@Face_Of_Innocence@xanga - you're free to have that opinion, but some people want to have that special time when they can nurture a child inside them. There's something to be said for bond between a woman and the child that she carried inside her. It also means that she can continue the natural bonding between woman and child when she breastfeeds. Adopting parents won't have that options. To each his/her own.
The whole "infertility treatment" is really sad for a few reasons.
First, it saddens me to think of all the women who they can have it all and put their biological clock on hold for their career or whatever and then start trying for a baby at age 35 thinking it will happen immediately. I'm all for women having careers and being independent, but a modern outlook won't change biology. Prime time for baby making is during your 20's. Yes, women get pregnant in their 30's and even 40's, but that's not something to count on. In this day and age, a baby is not the equivalent of being on house arrest. You can have a baby and a career, but it requires planning.
Second, it really makes me sad to think of all the kids out there waiting in foster care for a mom and a dad when couples are selfish enough to spend $10,000's on fertility treatments. I know adoption is expensive and an ordeal in and of itself, but if you're willing to go through all the expense and heartbreak of fertility treatments, at least consider giving a kid who's already been born a chance.
Of course, my heart goes out to couples dealing with these issues. We haven't started trying for kids yet, but are planning to do so within the next few years and I'm already worried about infertility problems. (a few women in my family have had issues and I have mild endometriosis) Its hard when you see some couples being irresponsible and having 6 or 7 kids when there are couples out there who so badly just want one baby of their own.
@lenybobsyouruncle@xanga - Thanks, I've seen variations of this one for several professions, and was wondering if they had one for mine :)
Wow. Some of these comments are absolutely horrible. So some of you think that if you can't get pregnant you should just stop worrying about it because it's "nature's way" of weeding out people who aren't good enough for this world? There are many, many causes for infertility and MOST of them are not an indicator of biological quality (just because a man has low sperm counts doesn't mean his genes themselves are bad, he just has fewer sperms). And you think that the crack-whore who, "oops!" got pregnant must be more fit than the couple who has been trying for 5 years for a child, has so much to offer and so much stability and love to give, and can give their child every opportunity for success and happiness? Also, if you haven't been trying for a baby, you have NO idea about the emotions and the pull to have a child. You wouldn't know how you would feel if it happened to you, so don't pretend to. It is not "selfish" to pay for fertility treatments! It's quite the opposite. Also, do you realize how expensive adoption is? Do you realize how different the foster care system is than both infertility and adoption, and that most of those children are not eligible for adoption in the first place? And that many children from broken homes cycle in and out? I commend and respect anyone who does foster care, but that is really a separate and very emotionally different thing to pursue. If people want to have and/or raise a child, they should have the opportunity to, whether they pursue fertility treatments, adoption, or whatever. They shouldn't have to worry about the horrible comments like these...they need support and kindness. There are SO many factors that go into decisions regarding the desire for a child. I think that many of the comments on here are beyond rude, hurtful, and misguided. I wouldn't wish infertility on anyone at all...it's one of the hardest things a couple can go through in life. I feel that people are becoming more heartless these days and tact is pretty much gone. It would be great if we could support one another in whatever life throws at us, with a kind attitude. You haven't walked in their shoes. Have a heart, people. Gosh.
We get pregnant super easy and then the baby dies right at the second trimester. They've all been female and we have a 4 year old son, so we are going just to see what our options are. We didn't wait until we were older to have kids. We've looked at adoption and even though there are a lot of options, none of them are affordable to us. (Local adoption legal fees start around $8,000 in our area. International costs are usually about $30,000.)The foster children still available in our area have such extreme health issues that they require round the clock care that I would not be able to provide emotionally or physically.
I was once 20 and thought I knew everything and had a huge list of things I would and wouldn't do. Life changes our black and white ideals into many shades of gray. Things that seem simple are not. One of the best things that comes of getting older is learning to have a little grace for each other and not making judgement calls on situations we've never been in.
@Face_Of_Innocence@xanga - Exxxactly. I am against infertility treatments for this reason.
@Face_Of_Innocence@xanga - i so wish my selfish mother didn't try so hard to have me.
@Face_Of_Innocence@xanga - I think unless you are in that person's shoes you can't really say. I also feel if I had been faced with that I would've just adopted but I have no idea because I was never faced with infertility
@Face_Of_Innocence@xanga - I'm the product of an infertility treatment, and the reason my parents couldn't get pregnant was my mom was in her later thirties and my dad his forties. Their age has definitely had nothing to do with how well they raised me or not.
@Face_Of_Innocence@xanga - Yeah, you suck.
It sickens me to read all these negative comments. A pregnancy is something wonderful for a couple to share together. Adoption is great too, and I'm always open to that option, but I would like to experience pregnancy at least once in my life. I don't consider it being selfish at all. And I don't think DuLcEpEcAdOrAuNa could have said it any better! Try walking in our shoes and THEN make your judgement, cuz I highly doubt your opinion would be the same.
@DuLcEpEcAdOrAuNa@xanga - Exactly.
Infertility is nature's way of saying you shouldn't be a parent. It's biology. I'm not jumping down anyone's throat for thinking infertility treatments are worth it, so I would appreciate it if people wouldn't jump down mine for stating my opinion. I never said it was selfish to go through it, so don't be putting words in my mouth.
@Face_Of_Innocence@xanga - Are infections nature's way of saying you should die from bacteria? Should we have just not developed antibiotics then since those people would die in nature?
Infertility doctors: Evolved from nature as a way of saying YEAH YOU CAN HAVE A BABY.
@Face_Of_Innocence@xanga - I personally believe that's natures way of saying that this woman is strong enough to get past infertility. It gives a woman strength to be the best mother that she could possibly be. Possibly even a better mother than if she had not suffered infertility in the first place. In many cases it's PCOS or endometriosis, both of which a woman needs to be treated for regardless of whether she's trying to conceive or not. I think it's very naive of you to make that judgement. You may not understand why women would want kids, and that's fine. I think the way you stated your opinion, however, was a bit harsh/rude.
it saddens me to think of all the women who they can have it all and put their biological clock on hold for their career or whatever and then start trying for a baby at age 35 thinking it will happen immediately.I feel that people are becoming more heartless these days and tact is pretty much gone.Jewelry cards
Metal labelsFabric labelsZip PullersBarcode labelsShoes hangersMetal buttonsJewelry tagsSize hangersshoes hooksit definitely bothers me that people are saying that if you need fertility treatments, you should just adopt. adoption is a complex process and also requires a different type of person than the average jane who wants a child. this is so important to realize.
when adopting a child, you have to realize you've got someone on your hands with memories and scars which they'll carry the rest of their lives. yes, some children in this system have not had it so bad but the plain and ugly fact of the matter is that the majority have really had tough childhoods- it takes a certain kind of person to be able to guide, nurture and support someone who has been through a lot at a very young age. someone who is not capable of that will put this child through even more unhappiness.
so the next time you're tempted to say, "just adopt", reflect on that.
@DuLcEpEcAdOrAuNa@xanga - @senorita_firefly@xanga - @haltija@xanga - This!
One must also consider the fact that going through infertility treatments is much easier, and even cheaper, than adoption. An adoption can cost upwards of $40,000 in some states, a couple can wait years just to be "approved" for adoption (there's a home study conducted, medical and psychological evaluations completed, and even financial records looked at) and when using a birth mother there's that constant worry that the mother will change her mind, and sometimes she does.
There's also more to infertility treatments than just IVF. I know of many women who simply needed progesterone injections in order to conceive. Oh, and just because a woman, or a man for that matter - they can stuff wrong with them too! - needs a little help conceiving a child does not make them any less qualified to be a parent. The fact is, most of us are simply hardwired to want to be parents!
@Face_Of_Innocence@xanga - If this was directed at me: Did I say that you said it was selfish? No. My comment was in response to ALL the negative commenters. Another commenter said that it is selfish to spend so much money on infertility treatments, and that sentence in my comment was in response to her. I put words in your mouth? No, I did no such thing. Also, you ARE entitled to your opinion, but sometimes opinions like that are better left unsaid. You know, to preserve a sense of kindness and not deeply hurt other women. My (and other) comments are in hopes of helping other people to have a better understanding of the pain of infertility. And to have a different perspective than your own. Isn't that what life is about? Growing, learning, being sensitive to others who are going through a tough time? Also, if you ever have to go through infertility, perhaps your opinion will change. I hope that doesn't happen to you, but it could, and it's a whole lot different to have a "philosophy" about something that you have no experience with than it is to actually go through it.
@sinicline2@ireallylikefood - I don't know why you quoted me... "I feel that people are becoming more heartless these days and tact is pretty much gone." It didn't really go with your comment. But just so you know, My husband and I started trying for a baby right before I turned 23 and he was 22. I am not one of the women who waited until after her prime reproductive years to try for a baby, yet it still has not happened. I don't know if that's the point you were trying to make, but I'm also not sure why you were quoting me word for word after you stated your opinion. Also, I think it's great that some women decide to wait until they are stable in their careers, find the RIGHT man before jumping into marriage and child-rearing, etc. Yes, it sometimes makes it harder for them to have a baby, but that doesn't mean that they should be openly judged for "waiting," intentionally or not.
@Face_Of_Innocence@xanga - It's people like you who are so stubborn and single minded that are the reason why infertility isn't covered by insurance companies, like it's "elective" or a choice we've made... It's not a "sign" someone should adopt, that's so incredibly offensive. Do you NEED biological children? No, why don't YOU go adopt. I'm sure you want/have them though, I deserve to want them too even though I'm suffering from infertility.
It's not always that easy to "just adopt" either. It's expensive, it's not a guarantee, it's a long process, and very few people even qualify. I sure wouldn't qualify to adopt a baby (partially because of my age, some agencies want 30+ year olds) but yet I suffer from infertility... I have the firm belief that I've been given the strong desire to be a mother for a reason, these G-d given treatments have also helped millions of couples (7.3 million suffer from infertility) become families when they otherwise wouldn't have.
Your logic is extremely flawed in many ways... Is cancer "nature's way" of saying
it's time to die? My BFF lost her daughter at 4 days old to a chromosome disorder, was that "nature's way" of saying she would have been a bad person? No, of course not. Would you go to a doctor if your arm was broken or you
had pneumonia, etc? Of course you would! It's no different with infertility, it's a disease
that we're getting treatment for. Go to Resolve.org and read more, it's
time to stop being so anti family/procreation and get your head out of
your ass.