Friday, 27 January 2012
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I am NOT Saving for my Child’s College Fund
…And I don’t feel guilty about it. Nope, not even a little bit. While it may sound harsh, it makes sense for our family. When I was pregnant with our first child, my husband and I went back and forth on how much we should save for her college fund. We decided to start a 529 college savings plan and put money into the account monthly. We did this for six months, and really felt like we were giving our daughter a great advantage in life.
Well, things changed for our family. Because of an unexpected illness, I had to leave my job when our daughter was five months old. I became a stay at home mom and our income dropped by 40%. We quickly had to reevaluate our spending and saving plans. We cut out a lot of our unnecessary spending and were still saving for her college fund and we were doing ok. We planned to have me return to work in nine months and our income would go back to what it once was.
Then, things changed for our family, again. We experienced all the benefits of me staying home to care for our daughter. And, I couldn’t imagine missing any more moments with our baby girl. We crunched the numbers again and had to make some tough decisions to make being a SAHM work for us for the next few years until our daughter started preschool. We cancelled cable, switched to cloth diapers, cooked from scratch, and made our own laundry soap, to name a few. Then we had to really question whether or not we should continue saving for college.
We did a lot of research and lost a lot of sleep. I found out that rough estimates of college tuition in 18 years for four years in an in-state college would be around $200,000. YEESH! I don’t even want to think about what it would cost if she went out of state or to an Ivy League school. When I really stopped to think about it, I realized that while we had only 18 years to save for her college expenses, she would have her entire working life to pay off her own college loans. If she even chose to go to continue her education.
My parents were not able to save money for me to go to college and they were very honest about it while I was growing up. I knew in high school that if I wanted to go to college, I had to do it myself. I worked hard, earned scholarships, chose to go to a school close to home (so I could save on rent), and worked while going to school. I was able to graduate in four years with ZERO student loan debt. I am still very proud of myself for achieving that! Not having money handed to me for school forced me to learn the value of money and taught me how to work for my own goals. That lesson has stuck with me and I am still so grateful for that experience.
So we stopped saving. After our bills are paid, all extra money goes into our emergency fund. Right now, saving for an emergency is more valuable to our family than saving for something our daughter might use in 18 years. After I return to work, we may start saving for her again. But if we don’t, I still won’t feel guilty. For me, teaching her to work diligently towards her own goals and be financially responsible are invaluable lessons that will benefit her throughout her life.
Are you saving for your child's college fund or not? Why?
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Comments (98)
My parents tried their best to pay as much as they could for me. Running REALLY FAST for the track team at a state school, let me cover half of my tuition. I value the shit out of my education, had a 4.2 GPA in high school, and get on my hands and knees and thank my lucky stars that I'm here at all.
My mom didn't save. Couldn't afford to. She was up to her eyeballs in debt until recently, lol. I'm in college now (what you Americans call college, we call university. I'm doing my undergrad) and my fees were paid by the college. Next year, they'll be paid again, and I'll get bursary via SAAS, and the same the following year. After that... gotta pull out a student loan, unless money is looking substantially healthier. That's life. I want an education, I gotta deal with it.
There's plenty of kids in the world who would dream of nothing more than getting an education but didn't even get the chance to learn to read. Worse things could happen, you know?
I guess if you teach your child well in the ways of the world before they go to college, they'll know what to do to keep themselves afloat.
Well, considering the fact that I graduated from college (even if it was a community college) and that my brother has attended college but never graduated and add to the fact that it's still a rough economy, I think that it's better to have bills paid.
Although, I think that there's a lot of jobs that pay more if not require college already. I think it more or less depends on what your child wants to do. While not everyone feels the need to go to college, there aren't a lot of jobs that don't require degrees.
@BimmerPhile@xanga - It is, however, your fault that you're incapable of reading all the words in a sentence, apparently. Nowhere did I 'claim' anything. Here is the offending sentence in its entirety.
"I really don't think I'll ever understand why people feel the need to tell other people how to be a good parent ...especially when the person doing the telling doesn't even have kids."
It's really a bit ridiculous you're clinging so hard to being right that I have to do this, but here goes.
"I really don't think I'll ever understand why people feel the need [...]"
This is not a claim, this is wondering, out-loud, why people feel so strongly. Later on in this same sentence, you'll find out what particular thing I feel they feel so strongly about. Ooo, anticipation!
"[...] to tell other people how to be a good parent [...]"
Notice that says 'good' parent. Not what constitutes legal behaviour. What makes a parent 'good' in the eyes of someone else is entirely, completely, absolutely subjective. From this point on, the sentence could stand on it's own. Exciting again!
"...especially when the person doing the telling doesn't even have kids."
This seems to be the offensive part of this sentence to you, because it excluded you from proffering unwanted opinions on someone's parenting-style. I don't care that you feel so strongly about the childhood of other peoples' children enough to berate their mother. I was merely wondering (again, out loud!) more why you felt the need to comment on the way someone else was raising their children.
You are, again, taking a statement that is not a logically constructed argument on a random weblog, and trying to say I'm making one out of it. I'm simply not. You're just too stupid or offended by someone else's questioning of your activity to realise it.
@DreamsEscapeMe@xanga - god i hate that too. I can only get merit based scholariships because my dad is a lawyer/engineer and my mom is an engineer.
All I know is that right now I'm finishing up my Bachelor's degree, which my parents are helping me with because they saved up for it. I am so grateful for them and without them it would not have been possible. Because they had the forethought and the caring to save up money for me, it has allowed me to be able to really go for my dreams. Because they helped me pay for my bachelor's degree, I will be going for my PhD immediately after I graduate, something many are not able to do.
All the success that I am achieving right now is directly due to the support of my parents. I'm not saying you are wrong for not saving up for your daughter, because you can only do what you feel is possible financially, but as a daughter finishing up her first four years of college, I can say the fact that my parents DID save is the best thing that ever happened to me. Hands down.
@Grtt@xanga - you seem to asume that beimer dude is to stupid to tell when someone is asking a retorical question
I'm the oldest of eight. Some parents just can't do it.
My husband and I are always getting into arguments over this. I don't want to save for our children's college, and he does. Of course, my parent's didn't save any money for me and his parents DID for him. I worked and saved while in high school, earned myself some scholarships, and decided to attend one of the top 5 cheapest colleges in the nation. I've always felt proud of myself for paying for college MYSELF without having any debt at all. My hubby, on the other hand, had a huge chunk of money set aside for him and each of his 4 sisters. After changing his major 3 times, being in school for roughly 8 years, and needing to apply for federal aid in the end, it just didn't seem worth it. His sisters, on the other hand, spent their "college" money on new cars, designer clothes, big houses they couldn't afford, and one actually used hers for a college degree (albeit a pretty worthless one).
Of course, I have nothing against parents who do save for their children, as long as they are taught how to use it properly and appreciate it, which my husband's family definitely was not. I
If your kid wants to go to college, that's their choice and I like the comment above about being honest. My parents never saved for our college cuz we grew up without much.
My mom was able to pay for my COMMUNITY COLLEGE tuition. 200k IS UNREASONABLY EXPENSIVE. YOU CAN TRAVEL THE WHOLE WORLD WITH THAT CRAP SHIT OF MONEY! All the professors at CC's have to have a masters degree and many professors at 4-years probably went to a junior college as well.
Maybe you can show your child options while they are young like, as early as middle school but at least by the beginning of high school. I wish I had that kind of advice when I was young. I had no direction when I was younger, despite my parents being college grads (in another country though. best your kids knows how the system works while they're young).
They can.....
-join the military
-pick up a trade
-GO TO SCHOOL ONLINE
-STUDY IN CHEAPER COUNTRIES ABROAD
The fastest way for them to graduate if they're college bound is to work part time in high school while taking community college classes. They can get their GE's done quicker.
If your kid wants to be a nurse or go to med school, they can always study in another country at certain universities where it's certified for US standards (some schools in the Philippines do. They teach in English and they crank out nursing & med students). People come from abroad to work in the U.S. with a foreign education. Why can't others study abroad & land a job back home? Some friends of mine are doing that right now.
I don't think there's anything wrong with not saving. My parents didn't save for me, and I have been paying for my school with scholarships and part-time work (My mom did take out a loan for me early in my undergrad years, and I could not be more grateful to her for that--all other expenses have been paid for by me, though). I still had to take out loans, but I know that in 3.5 years, I will graduate with a doctoral degree and be eligible for getting a good job.
I really do think that paying for most of my education on my own has helped me to value my education more. I had a few friends whose parents paid for everything, and they seemed to take college for granted. It's not to say that everyone ends up like that if their parents pay for it, but it seems more likely.
Also, I think that college savings funds can really be used against you to some degree-- when you fill out a FAFSA, the school looks at every single penny to your name and to your parents' names, and determines what your cost of attendance should be. If you have less money to your name, you will be offered more financial assistance.
You can't even put $5 a month into a separate savings account a month? There is aboslutely nothing you could cut back on and put that money into a new account? Like maybe little treats for yourself, like cups of coffee or anything else?
My parents were able to put $60 away a month for me since my birth and it was great for when I needed to buy a car for work and school. Also, your kid doesn't have to go to state college all four years -- I'm going to community before state, which saves massive amounts of money.
I have to admit, it sort of feels like you're making excuses for your own want to be a SaHM, instead of any need. Perhaps, then, it's time to look into new sources of income while being a mom. :|
My husband's grandma starts accounts for all grandchildren/great grandchildren and so on. She started an 18 fund for Diana when she was born and puts around 25 in a month. My husband got his when he turned 21 and we got 1000 and it really helped with some debts and bills too. The money can go towards a car, bills or college it just depends on what they want or need. We have a "my first piggy bank" we toss change into and already has over 10 that when she turns 3 we're going to let her use and pick out a toy or candy. I don't know about that one, I just started tossing money in and decided to make it a 3 year old fund. When his grandma dies, she's going to pass it to us and we'll going to continue to put money in. I think it's a good idea, it really helped us out.
@splinter1591@xanga - Eh, shoe fits. Though it wasn't really a question.
The 'you're a totally shitty mom!' comments merely got me to wondering. Since the blog and comments made me wonder it, I typed it. The 'claim' he has insisted I made, multiple times now, was never typed by these here fingers. The 'logic' he is insisting I'm using isn't there. There is no deductive or inductive reasoning in anything I said in my original comment. I wondered something. I typed it. He didn't like it. He's attempted to turn my 'huh ...I wonder' statement into the premise for an argument. Logical (a word he apparently loves) discussion and debate just doesn't work that way.
On top of all that, he hasn't even addressed the very thing that got me wondering in the first place. Why do people feel so strongly about what is 'best' for other peoples' children? Quite honestly, the funniest part about this whole conversation is that he basically hates children (based on every comment I've seen from him on Momaroo). It's pretty laughable that he's worried about this one not getting all her parent's money for college.
I've been poor my whole life. I hate that college is so expensive, its pretty much like only the rich can succeed. Since my family is poor, I will also be poor my entire life because I can't go to college due to lack of money. I work, but all of my money goes straight to my family to pay bills because if I don't pay bills, I get kicked out of my house. & then I have nowhere to go. It sucks. A lot.
@FaceY0urFear@xanga - it IS pathetic....i don't care if anyone agrees with me or not.
i never said SHE was pathetic....i said her irresponsibility was pathetic. read what i wrote before responding thanks!
@Mangonese@xanga - that's what i thought...then everyone started attacking me haha i'm glad someone else sees it how i do
@dead_poetic009xx@xanga - Well, perhaps it was your delivery.
I don't quite think her actions are irresponsible, but I think that there are some things that could be done.
For example, anyone reading this, if you're ever planning on having kids and you have any sort of steady income, it doesn't hurt to start a separate account now and jam a few dollars a paycheck into it. At the very least, you'll have an emergency fund if something comes up. And you'll have college for your kids already started before they're born. And if you don't have kids, hey! You have a nest-egg. There are very few drawbacks to putting money away.
Either way, you have to do what works best for your family. We have 529 accounts for both our boys and we put $30 in a month in each account. It's not a lot, but it's what we can do. They also have regular savings accounts that we deposit into regularly. My oldest I'm expecting will get a scholarship, but I'm not entirely sure how the younger will get his education. They're still little, so I'm not that worried...yet. I earned scholarships and worked jobs throughout college and my parents helped some, too. I worked hard for what I got and I expect my own kids to do the same. My husband and I will help them out some, but we're not going to foot the entire bill. I expect them to work!
I was upset when my parents told me they didn't have a college fund (growing up, it seemed like something parents were SUPPOSED to do), but now I understand they just couldn't afford it. And having to figure out how to pay for school was difficult (even with a full scholarship, there are plenty of expenses associated with going off to college, even if it's somewhere close to home), and I still haven't been able to afford a bachelor's yet, but I know I'm stronger and more satisfied knowing that I've gotten as far as I have all on my own.
And I dunno if anyone mentioned this yet, but it's important to make sure you have your retirement funds squared away before worrying about a college fund. No college fund = student loans, but no retirement account = financial/emotional burden to your grown children, who will probably have their own children to worry about.
@dead_poetic009xx@xanga - I disagree. My parents saved nothing for my college education. I did borrow some money from them to pay for what scholarships and loans wouldn't cover, and I am expected to pay it back. I fully intend to. I do not think that a parent owes the child money for college. It is the kid's responsibility to want to better themselves and do it on their own.
I wouldn't necessarily be proud that you aren't saving for your kid's college. Okay, so they might not want to go, that's completely valid. My dad didn't go to college, but he did go to a mechanic's trade school and that costed money as well. Granted, not nearly as much as college, but it was still something. I wouldn't say that it's irresponsible of you to not save for her education, but even a few bucks here and there would help at least with living expenses.
As for my experience, my parents did pay for my education. I wouldn't necessarily say it was handed to me though. And I did have to work to cover all the living expenses (room & board or rent & food when I moved off campus). And I did work very hard for my 2 engineering degrees. My GPA was always very important to me because I knew it would give me a competitive edge when it came to looking for jobs. And guess what? I graduated in 4.5 years with 2 job offers and zero debt! I'm better off financially than my peers (especially since in this economy a lot of them are still looking for jobs). If you instill a hard working attitude in your daughter and she gets good grades in school, then I think that should be rewarded with some money for college.
My boyfriend has been graduated with a fabulous engineering job that pays amazingly for almost 2 years now and he still has $100k in student loans. He's done all the math and if he continues to pay over $900 more every month he still won't be finished paying off his loans when he's 30 years old. It took my sister, who went to a much cheaper state college and only had half her education on student loans, until she was about 37 years old to pay it all off. It's ridiculous to think that unless your daughter is working 4 jobs and has massive scholarships, that she'll be able to leave college with under $125k in debt.
If you couldn't save that would be one thing. Times are tough and not everyone can save, I get that. But if you can save and just choose not to, I really think you should reconsider. Even if it's not a lot.
@sarahsmurfette@xanga -
I just wanted to address your points
1. Me and all the people I know worked very very hard our first, second, and now in our third year of college are working just as hard and we all get straight A's. No parties.
2. Me and my friends only went to college once we were fully set on a major. We worked whatever job we could get until then so we could help pay for college as well but some of us have known what we've wanted to do for years.
3. We're all working, going to school, and paying for our living expenses as well as training for employable jobs.
None of us would be able to do any of this without our parents help. They work so hard for us and so we work hard so its not wasted. I know not everyone is like us but had our parents not helped us we would have ended up like everyone else in our small town. Working at the gas stations or Walmart scrimping and squeezing each penny. Thanks to them we have the foundation for a wonderful life. And I plan upon paying them back for all of this as well.