Friday, 27 January 2012
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I am NOT Saving for my Child’s College Fund
…And I don’t feel guilty about it. Nope, not even a little bit. While it may sound harsh, it makes sense for our family. When I was pregnant with our first child, my husband and I went back and forth on how much we should save for her college fund. We decided to start a 529 college savings plan and put money into the account monthly. We did this for six months, and really felt like we were giving our daughter a great advantage in life.
Well, things changed for our family. Because of an unexpected illness, I had to leave my job when our daughter was five months old. I became a stay at home mom and our income dropped by 40%. We quickly had to reevaluate our spending and saving plans. We cut out a lot of our unnecessary spending and were still saving for her college fund and we were doing ok. We planned to have me return to work in nine months and our income would go back to what it once was.
Then, things changed for our family, again. We experienced all the benefits of me staying home to care for our daughter. And, I couldn’t imagine missing any more moments with our baby girl. We crunched the numbers again and had to make some tough decisions to make being a SAHM work for us for the next few years until our daughter started preschool. We cancelled cable, switched to cloth diapers, cooked from scratch, and made our own laundry soap, to name a few. Then we had to really question whether or not we should continue saving for college.
We did a lot of research and lost a lot of sleep. I found out that rough estimates of college tuition in 18 years for four years in an in-state college would be around $200,000. YEESH! I don’t even want to think about what it would cost if she went out of state or to an Ivy League school. When I really stopped to think about it, I realized that while we had only 18 years to save for her college expenses, she would have her entire working life to pay off her own college loans. If she even chose to go to continue her education.
My parents were not able to save money for me to go to college and they were very honest about it while I was growing up. I knew in high school that if I wanted to go to college, I had to do it myself. I worked hard, earned scholarships, chose to go to a school close to home (so I could save on rent), and worked while going to school. I was able to graduate in four years with ZERO student loan debt. I am still very proud of myself for achieving that! Not having money handed to me for school forced me to learn the value of money and taught me how to work for my own goals. That lesson has stuck with me and I am still so grateful for that experience.
So we stopped saving. After our bills are paid, all extra money goes into our emergency fund. Right now, saving for an emergency is more valuable to our family than saving for something our daughter might use in 18 years. After I return to work, we may start saving for her again. But if we don’t, I still won’t feel guilty. For me, teaching her to work diligently towards her own goals and be financially responsible are invaluable lessons that will benefit her throughout her life.
Are you saving for your child's college fund or not? Why?
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Comments (98)
Not right now, we're not. There's always a chance he may not want to go to college, and it makes no sense to set money aside for something he may not even be interested in.
If he expresses an interest in it when he's older, I will certainly try to give him a little bit of a head start. It won't be enough for the full ride, but he could supplement it with scholarships and grants, and some of his own funds if he really wants to.
This seems logical. I'd hate to think people save thousands of dollars for a 6 month olds college education 18 years down the line, thinking they are doing something good for them, when they are suffering in the present. Save what you can, when you can. There's also something to do said for a child who has to realize the value of a good education on their own, and works harder for it themselves.
If you can't save up, then you can't. Just be as your parents were: Honest. My parents were not, saying they had money saved up. By this, they meant they had a mutual fund. And as a high school dropout and a military veteran, they weren't even aware of how much college would be.
I got lucky. I was able to get a good scholarship that slashed my $20000/yr to $10000. I found a studied abroad that saved my parents money and was less even when you added in the plane ticket. And most importantly, I was lucky enough my parents are home owners with good credit and we are middle class. Home equity loan is how my parents paid for my college.
So yeah, I don't think anyone is going to shame you for it. BUT keep in mind it might be better to take some loans out yourself for your daughter's education, like a home equity loan (assuming you are a home owner) than force her to take how private student loans that are insanely expensive. I probably would have gone to a school in state if my parents had never told me they had money saved up. I thought we were good, so I looked at all schools, applied where I truly wanted, and promised that when I was accepted that price would be a major factor.
My parents did not save up for my college education, on the logic that they would not be paying for me to spend one or two semesters in college, get bored, fail all my classes and drop out. And they're right. I probably would not appreciate the full value of college education if I didn't have to work and pay for it myself.
I'm not a parent, but I hope to be some day. If my then-husband and I can afford to set aside money for our child's education, we absolutely will. Aside from rent, utilities, and other basics, it's a priority to me. I was blessed to have parents that paid for my college education (and for my other two sisters' college educations as well). Their sacrifice and hard work enabled me to attend law school, which I never would have fathomed if I was burdened with six figures of debt from undergrad.
Obviously, though the economy is tough. If things remain the way they are, and I have trouble making enough money to cover the necessities of life, I know that I wouldn't be able to establish a college fund for my son/daughter. Honestly, not being able to do so would break my heart.
there's so much i can say to this post...but all i will say is defending
your irresponsibilityand hurting your daughters future is
PATHETIC!The fact you aren't going to be saving up any money at all for your daughter to go to college is sad....at least save SOMETHING!!! $50 a month would even be something! my parents saved up money, and were able to pay a little over half my college education. the rest i earned with scholarships.
if i was a parent, i would be doing everything i could to make sure my child had every tool they needed to succeed in life, including money to go to college. there's better ways to teach them about financial responsibility, like saving up for their own car, or saving up for their own apartment.
being a parent is providing a better life for your child then YOU had...every parent should want that for their child. i wish your daughter the best of luck having parents who don't care about her future and are not going to help her have a better life than they had.
well
if i could, i would, but i can't, so i dont
but hopefully someday i'll be able to start setting money aside for her, but i don't think i would tell her, just because i wouldn't want her to rely on the fact that she already has the money so she doesn't have to try. I would want her to strive and work hard to get the best education that she can.
but who knows maybe she won't want to go to college, she might want to travel, but that's not the point.
the point is i do plan to have something set aside for, just at this very moment i'm so broke it's not even funny, but i know i will help my daughter anyway possible, so she can have her best chance in life.
My parents saved for my education, I don't have to worry as I'm studying through my undergrad right now. However this does not mean I value this education any less. Growing up I didn't have very many toys and often wore hand-me-downs (from my brother) so I understand the sacrifices made to ensure the probability of this higher education.
I'm honestly so grateful to my parents for thinking so far in-advance. Because of this I can somewhat balance my life between academics and athletics and not have to worry about the financials.My husband and I are saving for our 6 month old son :) We started when he was 2 months old and although we're only saving about 60$ a month for him, I'm really excited to help him have the best education possible in the future.
If it's currently hurting you financially to save, it makes sense to stop saving. Yet don't throw the idea out the window, as you currently are with your "AND I'M PROUD OF IT" attitude.
When you eventually come to a stage where saving up wouldn't be so difficult, do it. $5 a week, $10 a week, it will all add up.
@dead_poetic009xx@xanga - Oh dear god. 'if i was a parent'
yeah you're not, shut up.
@dead_poetic009xx@xanga - Your comment is way off base, but I know you must have expected a reaction.
Question yourself this:
1. How many college students whose parents paid for their higher education partied away at least the first year?
2. How many college students whose parents paid for their higher education changed their major repeatedly because they didn't know what they wanted to do?
3. How many college students treated their education as simply high school, grades 13, 14, 15, and 16? And then graduated with a worthless degree, no training, and moved back home and got jobs that required only a high school diploma?
All of these questions lead to one thing: wasted parental money.
It stands to reason that if a young adult must pay their college bill, it won't be squandered away. It is not something children are/should be entitled to. It is supposed to be a time when we learn to accept adult responsibilites and part of that means learning to manage money.
Your opinion is an that of an idealist. Which is fine for you. But you can't pass such harsh judgements on someone who is more in touch with what is real in their own experience.
My experience? My parents didn't pay for my college education. I worked hard and got a scholarship. To a tech school *gasp*. In 2 years I came out with valuable training and experience. Recruiters were literally waiting for me to graduate because I was highly employable. The day after my graduation? I got a job, a plane ticket, and an address for my new (paid for by my employer) apartment. I made over 75k a year - right out of college. And I had no debt to pay because I earned my education. All of my other friends? Well, they lived their very different lives and regretted not making the choices I had.
My parents paid for my college and I was able to walk away with a degree and be totally debt-free. My life is greatly better than my peers and I'm incredibly happy to not be tied down by doubt. I'm able to pursue my dreams instead of being forced to work at a crappy job I hate. I'm very appreciative towards my parents and I want to provide the same opportunity to my kids one day.
I think it's stupid for parents not to save up money for their kids in some form. If you don't have college saved up for, what about weddings, a fun family vacation to europe in their teens, or even a car? That money could be used in a great way even if the kid decides they're not going to further their education. Quite frankly, that's a big risk in itself. I would hate to be the parent that destroys my kid's dreams by saying, "well, I didn't save money for you because I thought you would hate college!" Great. Try being the person who ruined their opportunity to be ahead. I think it's a parent's job to give every opportunity they can to their child.
Furthermore, I don't think I'm lazy because my parents paid for college. I knew they were going to pay for me even when I was still in high school. So I worked my butt off and got high scores of the ACT and the SAT. I had a GPA higher than 4.75. My parents sent me to a nice private university far from home and because of MY hard work in the classroom and on tests, I got a great scholarship from the school. I worked three jobs in college as well. I knew that every little bit helped my parents. And now that I'm done with school and debt-free, I've saved over $15,000 in the bank. I work at a job I love - overseas! - and have saved more money than anybody else my age that I know.
A free college education enabled me, not made me a lazy loser.
We don't have "COLLEGE" savings plans, we just have savings plans. I say this because my kids could elect to not go to college and instead do a skilled trade. SO My husband and I's deal is that we will save what we can, and when our kids are old enough to go to college, then they can decide. Apply what we have saved (and what we can contribute towards college cost at the time) and go to college on it, Save the money and use it as down payment on a home when they buy a home, or Use it for their wedding. Either way. The child does not GET any of the money, its only spent on something it should be spent on. If they elect for it to be towards a home, then they will have to work harder to contribute to their own education. If they decide to use it for a wedding, they have to work harder towards their education. If they use it for their education, then hopefully they have learned to work hard enough and are responsible enough that when its time to buy a home or get married that they can have saved up for it, OR they aren't drowned in debt to where they can't afford anything. Whatever way they chose, they have to work hard for something and a lesson will be learned without me forcing college down their throats.
In any case, at the time, we will contribute what we can towards their college if they chose to go. It just depends how hard they want to work before/during college, or how hard they want to work after.
I agree with @sarahsmurfette@xanga, having money to pay for a child's education does not guarantee success for the child in the future. It's nice to have the money, but if a parent doesn't the kid isn't doomed.
OP: Your logic seems reasonable, I believe that spending time with your child during the formative years to teach her yourself rather than busting your butt to save up for the kid's college fund is a great choice. You can always obtain other means of college funding in the future but you cannot get back the time spent with your baby and forming her mind and shaping her outlook on life. It is a hard decision, but it is possible to live comfortably, save money for emergency fund AND and helping prepare your child for a bright future. I find it invaluable to be able to teach your child the importance of work ethic, the difference between right and wrong, etc. Personally, if I could save money for my child's education, I will but if I can't I will find another way (later). Another reader made it sound like you didn't care to save for your child's education. From your post, I don't believe you meant it that way at all. It is understandable, to choose one thing over the other. After all, when your child is young, it means so much more that mommy and daddy were there at her Holiday Pageant (or substitute other activity) to see her perform rather than both mommy and daddy had to miss because they were at work to be able to put $50 away that month for her college fund. And who knows, the emergency fund can be nice and fat one day and be split into emergency fund and college fund. The point is, that you still made a point to save SOMETHING!
with the rate of college tuition rising far outstripping the rate of inflation, there is little to no chance that your child will be able to graduate from college without enormous debt in the manner you were. it's ignorant to assume that because you did it, the burden will be proportional upon your child - because it is NOT. expect that cost per unit by the time she gets to college will be 300-500% what you paid for those units.
i'd say save up - not for college in particular but for your family in general. if you feel you've raised a child with a strong work ethic and who is motivated toward their education, you can help partially or fully finance that education... and if not, they can reap what they spend their years sowin'.
I wasn't even aware that parents were "supposed" to pay for college. Initially no one I knew got any help from their parents and we all just knew we'd have huge debts exiting college. I knew several people working multiple jobs as well to put themselves through college.
Of course, over time, I'd meet people that their parents were paying their tuition....and paying their rent.....and giving them money for food and clothes.....and bringing food to their apartments.
I'll probably save money for my children's college fund....only because its such a burden paying off student loans forever. But I would never expect anyone (and even my own future kids) to ever feel entitled to parental help to pay for college. I don't understand when kids say they didn't go to college because their parents couldn't afford it. Get loans...and/or a job like 90% of college students!
Man, there are a lot of self-righteous commenters on Momaroo.
I really don't think I'll ever understand why people feel the need to tell other people how to be a good parent ...especially when the person doing the telling doesn't even have kids.
Contrary to the comments here, there is a rather large difference between feeling pride and not feeling guilty. Do what you think is best for your family. It's really none of my business how your family handles their finances.
We're not saving for our dd's college expenses either. We are in the process of buying our first house, which is basically all our savings, and after that we'll spend some time rebuilding our general savings for a while, and then maybe we'll start college-specific savings. I'm also a SAHM and I feel that I'm giving my dd much more of an advantage being home with her than she would get from having more money in the future. My parents didn't save for college and neither did my dh's, but we both went. I graduated in 3 years because I was paying for it myself (with loans, primarily) and was motivated. I don't think it's necessarily bad for kids to have that motivation to work hard because it's their own money.
Y'all are so small-minded. Why save up for your child's college when you can be saving up for your child's future title as world dictator? Ruling the Earth is no cheap task. Srsly ppl, dream big. Yeesh.
I understand; if you can't do it, you just can't do it. And it sounds like you learned a lot from having to pay your own way through college. Still, if I have a child someday, I do want to be able to pay her/his way through college, or at least help her out. Just my feelings on the matter. It might be because of how I was raised; I was always told that until I graduated, school was my job.
We are saving for our children's college education, but that's because we can afford to. If something happened to my husband's job and money was tight and we made other sacrifices and couldn't make ends meet, we would not save. But that would be a temporary thing, hopefully. I understand you not doing it now, but you should still be open to the idea if you make more money again. The thing is, it was great you got scholarships and other aid....but what if you make too much for your child to receive any financial aid? Even through hard work, your children might have to take out loans. Any little bit is better than nothing and if you can't save now, maybe you can in the future. Just keep an open mind as any financial help from you will give them a great start!
@Kitzress@xanga - I'm in the same boat. Totally debt-free...and SO Happy that my parents paid for college!
@dead_poetic009xx@xanga - Sorry, but I believe that I should save more for my retirement than my children's college. Considering that retirement and medical costs are going to cost far more than college, I would prefer to take care of that and save my children than stress of having to take care of my husband and I financially when we are older.
If they do not get scholarships, they can pay for college themselves. Contrary to popular myth, it is entirely possible to get a degree without going tens of thousands of dollars into debt for a degree that is no guarantee of a better-paying job.
I think that if you can't afford to put money in your child's college fund, then don't. I don't look at your situation negatively at all; I appreciate the fact that you are taking care of your family's immediate needs before you plan for the future. I agree that an emergency fund is more valuable to your family at this point in time.
However, once you go back to work, and you can afford to contribute to the college fund again (even if it's only $20/month), I think you absolutely should contribute. My children will have no choice -- they will go to college. I am a teacher, my husband and I both have Bachelor's degrees, I have a Master's degree, and my husband is currently working on getting into vet school. I think education is THE most valuable gift you can ever give your child, so it makes sense to me to push education and replace those extra children's toys with cash for the college fund. I think that if you CAN afford to contribute to a college fund and you DON'T, you're doing your child a real disservice.
But obviously, you're not in that situation right now, so I understand and agree with what you're doing!