Monday, 23 January 2012
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Pregnant Perfectionist
No matter how much control you prefer to have over situations, you can't control every aspect of your pregnancy. While I certainly knew this to be fact, it hit me on a whole new level today.
Son,
With how uplifting my love is for you, today it makes my heart ache. At about 10:00am, I felt an unusual pain in my uterus. Between the violent shaking of your body and the contracting of my uterus, I was scared. Upon doing a bit of research, many women have described this feeling the same way I had... a seizure. Shortly after, I contacted a friend of mine who's daughter has a neurological disorder and is prone to seizures. This friend described experiencing the same thing while her daughter was in utero.
I called the doctor's office just to be safe and was told to go to the emergency room immediately.Upon arrival, they filled out my paperwork rather quickly and sent me off to the maternity ward where I was hooked up to monitors. They checked your heart rate and fetal movement for almost two hours and sent me home with strict instructions to return immediately when (or if) it happens again. After speaking with the nurse in the emergency room about the sensation I was feeling, she came to a similar conclusion as I... seizure.
I'm scared for you. I can't concentrate on anything but your development. All day I have wondered if there was something I could have done differently. From the time your father and I started trying to conceive, I have made sure to keep as healthy as possible. I drink about 70-80 ounces of water per day and I only drink water. I do not smoke, nor do I put myself in situations where I will be surrounded by smoke. I stopped drinking all alcoholic beverages once we started trying to conceive. I eat well balanced meals, take my vitamins daily, and exercise often (although not every day). My sweet baby boy, is there something I have done wrong?
While I know there is a large possibility you could be a very happy healthy child, your father and I have come to the conclusion that we can only hope for the best but expect the worst.I wish I could look into your eyes and tell you how much we already love you. No matter what the situation is, I will always take care of you and love you unconditionally. But until you are in my arms, I will continue to care for you the best way I know how.
What did I do wrong?
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About the Author
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- From: TK6927@xanga
- About Me: We have a beautiful 2 1/2 yr old daughter and one bundle on the way. Life is an adventure and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
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Comments (9)
Sometimes it doesn't matter how hard you try, things will still happen. All you can do is keep up the good effort and hope for the best. Sending good thoughts your way in that your new baby is born happy and healthy.
Sometimes it doesn't matter how hard you try,
things will still happen. All you can do is keep up the good effort
and hope for the best. Sending good thoughts your way in that your new
baby is born happy and healthy.
Until you know what, if anything, is wrong, there's no way to tell if it's something that could have been prevented or not. Crossing my fingers for you that everything's okay.
You didn't do anything wrong. You can't predict and/or control everything. I guess I look at things differently. I wouldn't necessarily expect the worse, the best, or anything else. If something is wrong, you can prepare yourself for the steps you need to take when you do know. The stress of expecting the worse is almost as bad as trying to control every living and waking moment you have. Just remind yourself that you have come this far in your life and you can handle whatever life throws at you and learn to live in the moment. If you don't, you will find that the perfectionism will cause you to miss out on life that is happening right now.
Make sure your vitamins are as natural as possible. Baby could have an allergy to one of the inert ingredients. Praying all is well with your pregnancy.
it's not your fault.. these things happen and we have no control.
i hope everything will turn out alright for you. i can only imagine what you're feeling.
Please don't think that anything that may happen is your fault. You can only do the best you can and hope for the BEST. Things happen and they are sometimes completely out of our control. I had preeclampsia and was in the hospital for 2 months when I was pregnant with my son. I did everything right and still that happened. There was also notching in his cord and he had to be monitored everyday multiple times a day. It was so stressful and I could do nothing to fix it. I hope that your baby boy is ok and will continue to stay in good health. He seems to have a good caring hearted mother to take care of him before and after he is born. And you take care too, please don't worry yourself because it will eat you up inside. Take care and God bless.
Marlo
Thanks to everyone for your kind words, it's very much appreciated!
Please keep in mind, this was written when my emotions were running high and didn't know who else to talk to. We generally keep ourselves pretty stress-free and know that we have no control over what happens at this point. The only thing left to do, is take care of my body and hope for the best.@livingcracked@xanga - YES & THANK YOU! Due to my daughter's allergies, I put a lot of time and research into my vitamins when we decided to add to our little family. Hopefully there isn't some natural ingredient the baby is allergic to. Maybe I'll do more research and see if there would be any other side effects I would be feeling if the baby was allergic to something I was taking. Maybe like vomiting, etc? Thanks again!!
@Erika_Steele@xanga - Thank you, and yes I definitely see your point. Sadly, I'm one of those ridiculous people who like to take control over situations. It's not always the best thing, but perfect for my line of work. I guess to say we are preparing ourselves for the worst while hoping for the best, is a little extreme. Again, emotions were running high when I typed all this out and now that I'm looking back at it all, I can see much clearer. Those pregnancy hormones are something else! My little brother is special needs and I know that we can handle anything life throws at us. It's just never something I expected to happen. I was always told that if you took the necessary precautions and took care of yourself during pregnancy, you'd have a happy healthy baby. I was just a little naive to believe it. Again, thank you for your input!
The same power that created that life is in control of it. God has a plan and in His sovereignty, he oversees life and death. I recommend asking HIM what to do.