Monday, 16 January 2012
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What's In a (Baby's) Name?
MINOR SPOILER ALERT! If you have not seen "Bones" season six, proceed with caution.
In the episode "The Killer in the Crosshairs" (season 6, episode 15) of the TV show, "Bones", Angela's father (ZZ Top's own Billy Gibson) suddenly appears in light of Angela and Hodgens expecting a baby, saying that a name for his future grandchild suddenly came to him somewhere "between A-7th heaven and A-minor genius" (the dude is a guitarist, after all). If you're at all familiar with Angela's dad, he's the sort of Texan you don't mess with (earlier in the series, Angela and Hodgens broke up, and the next thing Hodgens knows is that he's waking up in the middle of the desert with a tattoo of Angela on his arm).
Mr Z-Top is actually a really cool guy, and warmly accepts Hodgens as his son after the wedding (though not before sending Hodgens on a mad chase to reclaim his father-in-law's stolen car from a local biker gang bar), but Hodgens is still very frightened of his father-in-law. Which is why Hodgens has serious apprehensions about confronting him about his insistence on naming his grandbaby instead of leaving that tradition to the parents. At this writing, I haven't finished watching the rest of the episode, so I don't know how things turn out just yet.
This got me to thinking, though.
Just imagine you are an expectant parent, and someone insists that you name your child a particular name, and/or criticizes your choice for your yet-to-be-born baby.
What would you do? If you were (or are) pregnant - fathers, you can chime in, too; this is your child, as well, after all - how would such input from others make you feel?
And most importantly, what would you name your child?
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Comments (37)
@Pollypinks@xanga - I hear your point. While I don't think it's an especially bad thing to give a boy or girl a name that may be more traditionally a name for the other gender, I DO absolutely agree that we ought to celebrate a child being a boy or girl. I'm ALL for that. Some names, though, while being traditionally one gender, are actually fine for either. For example, my name is Michael and is, of course, more commonly a boy's name. But it's actually a gender neutral name.
@onefreebetch@xanga - Really? That's interesting - I've never heard of anyone who felt that way about middle names. Why is that?
@misslei11@xanga - You're most welcome. :)
@ThaPlatinumOne@xanga - Today, and certainly in days gone by, and for sure in the future, kids CAN be cruel. Tis a sad fact. And it should be something that one is well aware of. But I feel that we shouldn't let that be an actual deciding factor. Kids can be cruel about anything, even when someone has a normal name. The way we teach our children to respond ought to be of greater concern, I think. Your dad is going to have to learn to accept that.
Let's face it, if there's one thing we can give our kids as a heads up in life, it's a name. Making ourselves feel unique, different, special, whatever, isn't the point. The point is giving the child the best shot at life possible, and not imposing a name on him or her that he/she will have to spend the rest of their lives explaining and spelling to everyone on the planet. That, and the fact that they usually come up with some kind of joke like "My parents were high when they named me", to take the heat off.
Being a not-so-good Ashkenazi Jew, we keep with the tradition of not announcing a child's name till after they are born: at the boys' brit milah and the first designated day for announcement at the synagogue for girls. So no onw has any business with naming our child.
@Pollypinks@xanga - I hear what you're saying. But wouldn't it seem reasonable that a name ought to reflect the fact that we are unique, different, and special?
I certainly don't recommend names that are ridiculously outrageous (ie: "Moon Beam Unit"...an actual name from the 80s).
@hevcoh@xanga - Though I'm a Christian, I'm very not familiar with old Jewish traditions like the one you mentioned. Can you explain it to me a bit more? What's an "Ashkenazi Jew"?
@Rhindon@xanga - In my culture it is custom to name a child after its grandparents. When I asked my parents about how they chose my name, they said it was because my maternal grandmother's name is Maria. When I asked why they hadn't named me Maria Anastasia to also include my paternal grandmother, my father said nothing would be more insulting to his mother than giving her the dishonor of a middle name which nobody uses. We would offend my paternal grandmother more by giving her name as a middle name, than not giving it at all.
@onefreebetch@xanga - Hm. It seems odd to me that anyone would feel that way about a middle name. They can offer more blessings to compliment the first name if one puts that much value in names. But, it does make sense what you say. (There's certainly no moral issue about middle names.) If that's how your culture feels about middle names, then it's good you weren't given one. And it's good to honor your grandma. :)
first I absolutely adore that show and love that episode. secondly I already have had my kids names picked out for along time but haven't had any kids yet. Third no way would I let anyone but the dad have any input because I wouldn't want to be pressured or hurt their feelings if they insisted on a certain name that I hated. The names I've already chosen are:
Girl: Sophia Michelle, Alexis Michelle, or Theresa MarieBoy: Ryan Bentley or Bentley Ryan
-Autumn, :)
@Rhindon@xanga - Ashkenazi Jews are Jews who originate from the northren part of Europe, like Germany, or, in my case Hungary. We just have different traditions, slightly different "liturgy", and, till recently, pronounciation of Hebrew than other groups. One of the Ashkenazi traditions is we don't name our children after people who are still alive, and not announcing a baby's name till after birth.
@iloveyoulikealovesong@xanga - LOL You remember that episode? It definitely had me laughing, myself.
I like the names you picked out. I'm guessing you aren't married just yet (a hunch...I have no idea). Any chance you will be?
@hevcoh@xanga - Aaah! Okay. I've probably seen depictions of Ashkenazi Jews in movies and such, but never knew there was a specific reference.
Any particular reason why children aren't named after those still living?
And what's the purpose of waiting until naming the child until after birth? (I do think that tradition is a good one, say, as a part of officially celebrating and welcoming the child into the world. But that's just my thinking.)
@Rhindon@xanga - Hm, there is a whole lot of reasoning behind it, but part of it has to do with the concept of personhood in Judaism. One view is that life begins with the first breath (which I, too, believe), and we don't talk about the unborn as a full person. Also an infant who dies doesn't get the full mourning period that an older child or adult would get. It goes back to times with hich infant mortality rates, I believe.
Also, in all branches of Judaism newborn boys get their (Hebrew) names at their circumcision on or after the 8th day of their lives, when they become part of the covenant. There are exceptions, like I was a micro preemie that wasn't expected to make it, so I was named upon birth, so people could pray for me. You need a name for certain types of prayers, and "Baby Cohen" is just not a name. Hevel ben Yochannah is a name though.
Girls are usually named on the Shabbat after their births (or any day with Torah reading, Mondays or Thursdays).
In Ashkenazi tradition we name after relatives who pass on to keep their memory alive. In Sephardi tradition, children are named after their living relatives to honour them.
@hevcoh@xanga - Intriguing! I certainly have a LOT to learn about Jewish history and culture, let alone the Bible as a whole.
In response to the post that we are unique and special, I've talked with too many people over the years who don't feel unique and special because of their names, and would like to take a frying pan to their parents heads for naming them the way they did. It's all about the parents making some kind of statement, and never about what the kid is gonna feel like in 50 years. Complete and utter selfishness.