Wednesday, 04 January 2012
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Mom Moments: The Things Our Kids Say
As a parent, I've had many "Mom Moments": times when my children have said or done things that just left me shaking my head in wonder. I thought you'd get a kick out of hearing about a couple of them.
- "I'm a poopbutt." (needing a diaper change)
- Daughter sticks two plastic balls in her shirt. "Look Mom! I have boobs!" Dear lord, I think I just saw what she's going to be like at 16.
- "I want to have that thing that goes like this [twirling motion with hand] so I can play with it. You know, the one that's black. You know, the one that brother had yesterday. You know, that thing that looks like this [draws line in the air.] That goes like this [jumps in the air]." I'm still trying to figure that one out.
- I discovered a missing shoe *behind* the crisper drawer and a pack of Uno cards just sitting on a shelf in my refrigerator.
- I'm pretty sure my son is responsible for the sharpie marks on the coffee table and the crayons drawing on our tv. I think they hide drawing utensils in random places because even if the box of crayons or markers is on a top shelf undisturbed, they will always find one anyway.
- "I thought you said big girls don't wear diapers!"
- My daughter came to me with a huge smile on her face and informed me that she and brother were playing nicely. She said "We're making it puff up in the air and chasing it around. Then we make footprints! It's slippery. Brother fell down but he's okay." Then she ran off to play some more. Can you guess what it was? Baby powder. I was in the ladies' at that moment. It was a very panicky moment, knowing that they were puffing baby powder all over the living room but not being able to rush in there to stop them.
- One afternoon during a very long drive into town, we were keeping my oldest occupied by shouting out random silly phrases, like "Stink feet!" or "Daddy farted!" or "boogie monster!" My husband decided to take it a step further and yell "Mommy poops in the bushes!" Of course, to a three year old, that was pure gold. Fast forward to the grocery store. We headed down a very crowded aisle and my daughter felt the need to continue our game. So she shouted "Mommy poops in the bushes!" Do you know what it's like to be stuck in a grocery aisle with twenty smirking people staring at you? And where was my dear husband? Ducking back around the end-cap to hide.
I know that I should be able to recall more Mom Moments but I think that sometimes they are just so...insane?...unusual?...mind-numbing?... that my brain blocks them from memory.
What about you? What are your most memorable Mom Moments?
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About the Author
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- From: greene_lily@xanga
- About Me: I'm a stay-at-home mom of two small children, a cat named Only, and a score of fish. I'm happily married to my high school sweetheart, celebrating 10 years of friendship and love. We're expecting a baby girl in January 2013. I love to sing, dance, and learn about old-school home keeping methods. We're into homeschooling, homesteading, and learning about Messianic Judaism. I'm a little strange and enjoy a bit of weirdness every now and again. Hope we'll hit it off and find something in common!
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Comments (11)
K: MOM MOM! What's this BROWN skin on me!!!
Mom (laughting): That's your nipple dear.
K: Stop laughing or I'm going to THROW you!
lol.. these are fun!
not a mom but tonight at the cat shelter a kid pointed out the no smoking sign that had a cat on it and said
Kid: You can't smoke in here?
Mom: No, there is no smoking in here
K: I didn't even know cats could smoke!
M: The sign is for the people, not the cats
K: Oh good! Cat's shouldn't be allowed to smoke, especially in here where other cats might not want them too.
made my night
Once, shortly after watching Titanic, I was playing Barbies with my brother [LOL]. I had a one-legged Barbie in my hand when my mom walked in. I said, "Look, Mom! It's a one-legged prostitute!!" [Do you remember that Leonardo DiCaprio said he used a one-legged prostitute as the model for many of his drawings?] My mom's jaw dropped, "WHAT?!?!!" At the time, I didn't know what a prostitute was...
Recently, my 2-year-old daughter was drawing pictures beside me. Her father and I asked what she was drawing, and she exclaimed, "Dick!!" OMG My husband covered for her and said, "You mean chick [bird], sweetie."
LOL...kids are so precious. I was horrible as a kid. I live in an extremely undiverse area (only whites) and whenever a black person entered the bus I was totally fascinated and called them blackbird or some other "nicknames". My mom was so embarassed -.-.
Once I sat in bus beside a quite hairy man, and on the opposite two seats there was a mom with her kid, and suddenly the kid said:"mom is this a monkey?"
My son isn't old enough to talk in full sentences yet, but I remember once he was playing in his crib, and my boyfriend kept calling his name, held his hand out for my son to give him the toy he was playing with. My boyfriend said, "SJ...SJ..." and my son, as if annoyed, reached his hand out (empty) and said, "Dada." LOL I was in tears laughing.
My boyfriend's 7 year old niece is one of those children that you swear has "been here before." Her mom brought in a pair of her co-worker's shoes that he was giving to her son and placed them by the door. Anyway. The next morning, she saw the shoes and said, "MOMMY! Whose shoes are these?" She said they were her friend's and the little girl said, "See. This is how it starts. People think it's okay to leave their shoes and then they try and move in!" And walked away shaking her head. LOL it'd be understandable if her mom was dating or brought different men in and out of the house, but since her divorce, she hasn't brought any man she dated around her children LOL
I'm not a mom, but I'm the big sister of a three year old, and she definitely says some interesting things.
My little brother asked me what a dildo was. =\ I guess he saw an episode of south park and cartman or whatever called some other guy a dildo.
I'm not a mom, but kids say the cutest things! If I ever have kids I'm going to keep a journal and maybe some cute video blogs where I ask thm questions.
I'm not a mom, but my nephew (who spends too much time around his daddy--my sister's ex husband. He has a vile mouth) woke up from a nap once, it was either Thanksgiving or Christmas (this is important to note: ALL of the family was over) and she had been trying to fix up a bottle for him, but the bottle she was using was broken.
Apparently, this had been an issue for her before, because as she's picking him up and trying to shake it without spilling (and failing), he shouts, "AWW, YOU FUCK IT UP AGAIN?"
Everyone laughed till they cried.
my one son is 14 years old. and a few years back we were under a weather advisory because they were calling for penny size hail. well anyway i had to take a friend to the doc and i had brought my son with me and he had heard on the radio about the penny size hail, and asked where all the pennys were at, i asked him what he was talking about and he said there was going to be penny size hail. i had to tell him what hail was and tell him they were going to be the size of pennys and pennys would not be falling from the sky lol. and shortly after that he asked if you milk a refridgeator. lol