Monday, 02 January 2012
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17 Month Old Refusing To Eat! Help!
A few days ago, we had a Facebook follower submit a question on the page. I thought it was a great idea and thought that I would simply post the question and open it up to the public to offer suggestions, advice, and experience! This is the question from our Facebookpage:Do I give him "healthy snacks" to supplement his diet, or lack there of, or do I offer lunch and then hold back anything else until he eats "what's in front of him."?
I don't want to start a habit suggesting he has options, but I don't want him starving.
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Comments (38)
Why can't he have options? At that age they have a pretty small spectrum of food tastes they like. So I don't really see how the options is bad. But I like giving my daughter choices to make. Maybe it's just me but I like my daughter to make choices. Usually she knows what she likes and what she wants. And within reason I let her have it. Like for dinner we all have one thing but I will say things like should we eat this or this. And she will pick one.
Ohh and I've Been doing this since she was a baby. I would talk to her and let her be involved in decisions so she would learn how to make them. Even though at six months old she really had no idea that grabbing something rather than the theyher was a decision. Now she knows. My daughter is 3. She has also been helping cook since she was 1. I give her small tasks to help with. It gets her more excited about eating.
I am an old school Mom when he get hungry he will eat he won't starve himself...
When my daughter was young we went to the store and picked up several see through containers and she knew those were hers then I would fill them with healthy snacks and breakfast and lunch choices and allow her to choose for herself during the day the evening meal I would put her foo on her own serving plate if she ate it was ok if not ok I knew she had already eaten well usually she would at least nibble
"I don't want to start a habit suggesting he has options, but I don't want him starving."
So what you want is for him to make the rules because you're too scared to take charge. Let him go a few meals without eating and he'll learn pretty quickly to appreciate the food you make for him.
My 16 month old refuses to eat sometimes. It usually only lasts a day or so, then she decides to eat everything. Pediatrician told me to wait it out (within reason) and make sure they stay hydrated.
I don't think there is anything wrong with giving options. I've always let my daughter
"pick" what she wanted. I tell her she can have "meal A" or "meal B". Both are things that she'd eat but it gives her the feeling of power to choose between them.
@seriously_meredith@xanga - That's what I do.
Maybe it's just me. But I would never let my child go a few meals without eating because I was insistent on them eating what I wanted them to. That is very bizarre to me. I would feel so cruel.
Ask a doctor before listening to random strangers!! I'd say that when a child is hungry (and healthy) he or she will eat. Children exposed to sweets and sugar or artifiial substanes at a young age might get addicted to this, and everything else seems tasteless to them....if that's the problem i agree with waiting til he is hungry, or I'd decrease the amount of these inredients slowly.
Children also have a reason to do how they do, (as far as I know, at such young age they are not even capable of thinking so far as to "trick" the parents) and it could for example be a mild allergy . Nothing that stops them from breathing or gives them eczema, but in a mild form allergies just make you feel unwell in one form or another (for example I am allergic to onions, but they do nothing but make my mouth numb and make me feel nauseaus for a ouple of hours .) The hunger might be stronger than the negative experiences from eating, but I'd do everything to not force them to do something that isn't really good for them.
Of course it could also be that he's just not hungry.
If you make him sit there until it's all done, you might get him to inadvertently join the CLEAR YOUR PLATE CLUB and down the road be a proud member of that club.
If your child has become a picky eater, then make what you know he likes. If he doesn't want it right then, take it away and let him go play. If he wants junk food- tell him no, he can't have junk food. Ask if he wants his lunch back. Or offer him another healthy snack. It's just him exercising his toddler independence and choices and what not.
You can agree to disagree. Don't make him sit there til all his food is gone. If he absolutely refuses, let him up to play, don't cave in on junk food, and if he really doesn't like what he has for lunch- change itup.
@Shl3333@xanga - I really think its caving to junk food. But i think its the parents fault. Because my daughter (3) thinks its a treat to eat carrots and celery for a snack. She loves her veggies. And her cousin eats them now too because he saw how much she loved them. But, she does love making homemade pudding lol. We just don't eat a lot of it all the time. I don't buy chips. But, another option that she thinks it the same I make sweet potato chips and we all love them.
Kids aren't goin to eat every meal every day. Sometimes they will eat more. But I really don't understand the clearing your plate. My nephew is very picky with his mom and my mom. But he eats everything when he comes to my house. I just try to make it fun healthy and tasty so they will actually like it. And I learned in my nursing classes kids don't like most of the flavors adults like because their taste buds take longer I develop and a lot f flavors are to overwhelming. I wouldn't want to force my child to eat something they didn't like or want. But like you said I wouldn't give them junk food if they didn't eat lunch. I would offer another option.We have had the same problem with our 3 year old for about a year. (We recently found out he's autistic there fore he doesnt like certain textures) We always try to get him to try certain things but if he wont eat a single thing we make him wait an hour or so and then give him something healthy to snack on. He loves things like fruits,yogurts and cheeses so he'll usually pick from those things. We used to force him to sit there until he ate his food but he absolutely wouldnt do it. This was before we found out about the autism. I personally would talk to your pediatrician before doing anything drastic but I dont see any reason not to offer healthy snacks if there is something they wont eat.
I don't know...maybe it's a cultural thing but I was always taught to eat what's in front of me. If I was going to complain about it then I could always make the choice...to not eat. It seems odd to me serve your toddler. I mean...what? Maybe this is because people have the money to not appreciate having any type of food in front of them so they don't teach their kid the same? I don't know that just seems bizarre to me to teach your kid not to be appreciative of having food. But again, maybe it's a cultural thing...
my one son was a picky eater. he would only eat certain foods from 1 till about 2yrs of age. and i did not raise him like that. i would tell him to at least try but he also had a bad gag reflex if he didnt like it came up. he loved eggs cheese and junk food and if got hungry at dinner he would eat his dinner or eat cheese. i had told the doctor and she said it is a phase they go through. know he is 14 yrs old. he still has a bad reflex and the only difference know is it dont come up know. but he still is a picky eater but more willing to try different foods. my other son was nothing like that. the only thing about my youngest is when he was able to eat people food he wouldnt he would only eat his baby food.i think he was about 15-18 month before he started to really eat reg food. i think alot of it had to do with him being 3 months early. and when he did start eating reg food he really only ate cherrios.lol
he will eat when he is hungary. We set all of out kids at the table. We DO NOT let them choose what to eat. I am not running a restaurant. We have a rule in our house. "you get what you get and you dont' throw a fit!!!" When my kids act like this. I have pedisure on hand. They get that to drink, No sweet snacks, no juice. I may be a mean parent and alot of the newer style parenting do not agree with me and allow choices. But it has worked the last 10 years. The dr. say that they will not starve them self. Some cases is that is all the child feels they have control over. It is not somthing I allow the kids to control. Good luck with whatever route you choose to take.
why is it so hard for people to accept that a child just might not be hungry? Doesn't mean he/she is a picky eater.. they just might not want to eat.
This is how we do it in our house.. What is for supper is for supper, and thats the end of it, Mommy is not a cook on demand. If you do not want to eat it at supper time, you will still sit with the family until everyone (cept the baby) is done eating. If you get hungry later, you can finish then. My boy's birthmom used to scream at him when he wouldn't eat, so I try my absolute hardest not to get frustrated.. Sometimes I just need to leave the room for a few.
I also do not cater to my children's food preferences. If I did we would only eat mac and cheese and pancakes. He know he has to eat (or at least TRY) whats in front of him.
Now my almost 15 month old is a different story.. we are in the midst of changing her from jarred toddler food to table food.. some nights it works, some it doesnt.. she is about 50% there.. but she is also coming off formula so its a huge transition and we are letting her lead it. (its a bit of a complicated situtation with my 2 tho)
You just have to find what works for your family.
@opster25 - we are the same way in my house.. except the pedisure.. my son gets sick off that stuff.
When he's hungry, he will eat.
If the kid won't eat the food you give him, take it away, put some ceran wrap on it, stick it in the fridge, then reheat at the next meal. If he won't eat then, repeat, and so on. He'll eventually get hungry enough. He'll get the idea ;)
I don't think there is anything wrong with offering options, as long as you don't turn into a short order cook. It's not like you're letting your kid have all the power, as some here are suggesting *rolls eyes*, but you can let your child have SOME choice. Or, if you know foods he prefers, you could make those foods more often? If he just refuses to eat foods he used to like, and it becomes worrisome to you, I'd say talk to the doc.
My 3 year old has gotten really picky with dinner. If she's had a big snack that afternoon, it's understandable, so I've started cutting back on snacks or we'll have a tiny, tiny snack. Some days, despite not having a snack, she's just not interested in her dinner (and, normally, I don't offer her a choice on what to have for dinner, but she can choose a side, like cottage cheese). We basically tell her that she can't have anything till she eats. If she doesnt' want her dinner, but does want her dessert, she can't have dessert until her dinner has been eaten (not completely, just several bites. I definitely don't agree with making kids finish their plate. I think that sets up extremely bad habits. I have a 3 bite rule, most of the time). After all, if she's not hungry for dinner, she's not hungry for dessert, either.
Hang in there. I think a lot of kids go through a picky phase or a phase where they're just so busy having fun and learning things that eating isn't really a top priorirty. I don't know. Hopefully, he'll get through this phase, soon, for you!
@LadyGwenivere@xanga - :( we only get pedisure when it gets reall bad. That only happened once.
@Megabyyte@xanga - please explain how allowing your child to choose somthing else for dinner does not make you a short order cook or have power over what is on the table. Last time I checked giving in and letting the child pick somthing else was giving them control. I have 4 kids if they all hate dinner and refuse to eat it I am now cooking atleast 5 meals. Not to mention the amount of wasted food and money. Really and was the rolling your eyes at us called for? Every parent has thier own choice she asked advice. No one child is the same and cause it works in your family with one child does not mean it works in other families.
@opster25 - I didn't think there was anything wrong with your comment or anything, just to make that clear. One near the top is the one I was rolling my eyes at.
And, I didn't mean that they should be able to choose something else at dinner, because then you would be a short order cook and that's what I said to avoid. I do agree that kids need to learn to eat whats in front of them and think it's ridiculous to be a short order cook for kids. I was talking about beforehand, before dinner is cooked. I just don't think allowing some choice is always a big deal. That's all I meant, really. I think, within reason, it can be a good thing. But, of course, everyone has a different method that works for them and one has to take the amount of kids into question. Since I only have 1, it doesn't seem as big of a deal to me as it may if I had multiple kids.
The idea of catering to toddlers is just ridiculous to me. At what age do you have to ween them out of the idea that you're their personal chef and will make them whatever special meal they want?
To a certain extent I can see "pick option a or b"... but even that's a bit of a stretch, imo.@Megabyyte@xanga - Our kids dont get to choose dinner, however they take turns choosing the ceral we have in the house. It is impractial for us to let kids choose. We have to plan our meal and budget. Then again we are feeding 6 people. But as we both stated everyone has differant parenting styles it is just finding what works best for your children and your family.
O yes somthing that I would like to add to the poster.. Our school had a program where all the kids learned about heathly eating while some things drove me nuts i LOVED the idea they came home with. Which is the "No thankyou bite" even if our kids hate eating something they have to have some on thier plate. We call it the no thankyou bite. Because kids are always changing and just cause they hate it today doesn't mean they will tommarrow. Although I dont think mckenna will ever like tacos. That one has stuck around for about a year and 1/2 actaully about 2 years. And is the ONLY meal I will make her mac and cheese. But she must try it every time. HA! We even do it as adults if we dislike somthing on the table. Dan (the hubby) is picky but he trys everything to set a good example and has even stopped the gagging effects.. lol.