I didn't "learn to ignore" my babies' crying. In fact, I was more aware of their patterns because I was timing how long they were crying and the type of crying.

Also, it's not like it's super easy to ignore a crying baby. I had to battle with my own impulse to go in and pick them up all the time.

There can be so many definitions of "crying it out." For example, if your child is 12 weeks old and you're letting him/her "cry it out," I'd call you barbaric. But if they're close to a year and they're still not sleeping through the night, even though their immune system is more than capable of going 12 hours without food, then I'd say do it. It just depends. And my rule of thumb always was, 10 minutes. If he cried more than 10 minutes, I'd go get him. But my son STILL, at 16 months, cries when I lay him down. But it's usually 30 seconds to a minute.

@CecilliaMarie@xanga - I agree with that...babies cant tell u what they need. Their only means of communicating that something is wrong is by crying. Sometimes it may only be that they need the comfort of being held. If my 4 yr old came to me & said, " Mommy I need a hug," I wouldnt just dismiss that need so I personally wouldnt do that with my baby either. But thats just me. Everyone is different. My way is my way. 

@happywthejourney@xanga - Exactly! A 4 year old can say that he needs a hug or wants to be held, but an infant can't. I hate that expression that hear way too often that babies cry for no reason sometimes...there's ALWAYS a reason, even if you think it's a minor one.

I doubt it.. But then again, they say these things about basically everything.... I dont have a kid but my mom let me cry it out as well as my brothers and sisters. My oldest has OCD (but so do other family members) but none of my other siblings have that or anything else, so I cant really believe this.

I remember when my sister was 1 1/2- 2 my mom would let my sister cry it out and she would be asleep within 10 minutes usually.. Babies cry alot because they are tired. Obviously parents are going to check to see if somethings wrong with the baby, if theres nothing wrong then let it cry

Frankly I could deal with an anti-social child way better then I could deal with an overly sensitive, needy child. But seriously, it's all about balance in my opinion. I think the problem with many parents is that when the child goes from the baby to toddler stage...they continue to run to the kid's side every single time the way they would when they were a baby. At that point in development a toddler will start to understand "All I have to do is cry and she will come running". Then it turns into coddling as the years go on. It's completely essential to provide a baby with lots of love and attention but after that you have to change your approach.

I've never, personally, been okay with the cry it out method.  I agree with whoever said that babies don't need to be independent or self soothe, yet. They are BABIES.

My parents used to tell me a story about how I cried one night and woke them up. I was an infant then and they checked my diaper, checked my clothes, took all my clothes off and I still wouldn't stop crying. Then they realized I was sleeping while crying, so maybe babies have nightmares? My parents had to wake me up and that was when I stopped crying. 

@misslei11@xanga -I understand the effects of cortisol.  I just think this article is a bit of an exaggeration (granted I didn't read it so perhaps they did distinguish between abuse and letting children cry it out).  Most people who use the cry it out method aren't abusing or neglecting their children.  There is a difference between letting your child cry hours on end and letting your child cry so they can learn to sleep on their own.  Most people who let their children cry are not going to damage their children's brains, give them ADD, or turn them antisocial.  Children whose cortisol levels build up to the point they suffer damage to their brain and they start developing poor adaptive skills to deal with their lives didn't get that way only because their parents let them cry it out.

I flat out don't believe in the "crying it out" method for babies under about 18 months, I have no doubts it causes long term damage.  My oldest had colic, she cried a lot and for hours in the first three months, I always held her or tried to soothe her but it didn't work.  However, I was not letting her cry it out.  How the heck do grown adults expect a tiny baby to go... "Oh, since I'm left alone to cry I must figure out how to soothe myself?" 

My boys never cried.  As soon as they fussed I took care of their needs.  I believe a crying baby has something wrong with it, I do not believe crying in infants is a naturally occurring response.  I believe it to be a response of despair or in young babies with colic.  Babies in other cultures do not cry, at least not like American ones do. 

I think that all the article is saying is that parents must be cautious to still examine the source of crying. If a child is in genuine discomfort or something is actually amiss, the child's crying may sound no different than when it doesn't want to go to sleep just yet, or wanted to throw more spaghettios and is upset that the fun was ceased. Parent's can't just ignore any and all crying. Obviously. Duh. I think it's very important to let children "cry it out" when it's warranted. Obviously if the child is sick or needs a clean diaper or is injured, letting them "cry that out" would be the absolute wrong approach.

I did some quick google research and found that the levels of cortisol needed to actually damage the brain is beyond the amount most humans make in any situation, "dangerous" or otherwise. Besides, if this were actually true, I would imagine I'd have extensive brain damage, a mad-crazy case of ADHD, or some other issues that are caused by a lack of neurons firing. Not only was I allowed to "cry it out" as a kid, but I was also massively abused throughout my childhood and adolescence and somewhat into my adulthood. The levels of cortisol in my body should have been more than the average person. Not to brag, but I was one of those "star student" kids through school: I was in "gifted education" through my elementary years (minimum of a 135 IQ to attend), I was in Honors and AP classes through high school, and I went to college concurrently during that time.

I suppose it's possible that I could have been more focused and been even more intelligent had I not gone through the exposure to amounts of cortisol in my body, but if this study is true and the effects of cortisol on the body are as dramatic as this person is stating, then I should have been a super genius and am now suffering some sort of ill chemical effects of my upbringing. Other than lingering self-esteem and depression issues, I seem to be quite fine, thanks. I realize this is anecdotal evidence, but I don't think that the proper amount of research has been done on the topic.

Likewise, I've allowed children to cry, the same as I have encouraged them to laugh. A balanced child is one that does not feel the need to come to their parents with every tiny issue in their lives (though if they want to, it behooves the parent to be there for them and support them, not ignore them), and teaching a child to self-regulate and audit their emotional responses to situations begins at infancy. When toddlers go to bed, do we want a response of them throwing a fit, and likewise, do people actually believe that children enjoy going through tantrums? Catching the issue early and helping a child to develop, however that's done, is the best way to deal with it. Different people use different means, and that's okay. What works for one kid doesn't necessarily work for another. The important part is to know your child (or the child in your care) and do your best to do what's best for them, not what's best for you, or what you blindly believe is the best (as in, "My father hit me, and I turned out just fine!" without really thinking about how you actually turned out).