Sunday, 04 December 2011
I used to be a member of Xanga many years ago. Back when I was in junior high and high school - it was my safe place where I could expose everything. As the years went by and I grew up, it evolved into sharing bits and pieces of my family life. I just pulled it up, and came across this post about our first pregnancy loss.
On July 15th, I took two pregnancy tests and found out I was pregnant. The only reason I tested was because I was having some funky brown spotting. On the 16th, I woke up with cramps and pink spotting. I experienced a couple of "hot flashes" followed my nausea, which I experienced while pregnant with B, so I knew it was morning sickness. On the 18th my hCG level was 47, and my progesterone only 2.7 Doctors want to see progesterone at 20 or higher. I demanded supplementation, and started taking Prometrium. On the 22nd, my levels were drawn again. hCG had gone down to 16, while progesterone increased slightly because of the Prometrium. Sadly, we experienced a miscarriage (or chemical pregnancy, since I was soooo early.) I would have only been 3 weeks (fetal age of 1 week).
I was, and still am, incredibly heartbroken. After 2 years of trying, when I saw 2 pink lines, I lost it. I screamed and cried and jumped for joy, praising God that FINALLY, it had happened. It was a very tough week, and I still mourn for that pregnancy. My doctor said that as soon as I get another positive test, to call it in so they can order hCG and progesterone to be run STAT, in case I need supplementation. Atleast I can get pregnant, right?
R.I.P little angel. I have not named you, and it is not something Daddy and I have talked about. Maybe we will discuss this. We may just call you our little angel. You will forever be in our hearts.