We're sitting at the 20 week mark and it's about that time to get serious about a name. As soon as we found out we were pregnant we had people asking if we had names picked out. Sure, I think about names while I'm hurling into the toilet, it's my favorite pastime! *sarcasm* I of course said it was too soon, we'd rather wait until we knew what we were having.
When we found out baby #3 was a girl, it started again. "Any names?"
Oh come on! We JUST found out, let us go buy some pink onesies first and let the reality of a girl after two boys sink in a little!
We had names pretty quickly with the boys. But we did something that no one else in our circle of friends was doing - we kept the name a secret. We were asked day in and day out, people gave us pouty faces and begged, and we held strong. We didn't tell anyone until they were born.
We plan to do it with baby girl as well.
I just don't see the big deal. Why do we need to tell everyone? For one, I don't want opinions. I don't want people asking questions or saying, "That's weird!" or that it doesn't fit with everyone's name in our family. And another, if we already know the gender, what other surprises can there be? Okay, weight and length, but people don't care about that. They want to know gender and name.
What would happen if we shared her name... and then decided against it in a few weeks?
So I ask -
did you share your baby's name before they were born? Why or why not?
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Comments (23)
I knew my first daughter would be named Caitlin Marie, so I knew years before she was born. After I knew my first child was a girl through ultrasound, then yes I started to tell people she was Caitlin. With my oldest son, I think I was wishy-washy but by time the ultrasound confirmed it was a boy I was set on Gabriel for a first name, but not the middle name. For my third, c'mon the third you realize nothing matters and you're all a pro by then. lol So, I had no ultrasound for my third and didn't know he was a "he" till he was born and I think he went at least an hour without a name before I had to sign the paper work and settle on "Matthew Kenneth".
My first little boy was born October 28, 2005 weighing 7 lbs 8 ounces. When I first found out that I was even pregnant I was 17 years old, and by the time that I had found out, my boyfriend had already left me and started dating another girl whom may I add was three years younger than myself. Any how, a month before I was to give birth to my son, my boyfriend and I had gotten back together and were sitting in his mothers living room with the entire family and asked them to help us decide on a babies name. Everyone in the room came up and liked the name Hayden, and then all agreed that the middle name should be Michael.. We ended up naming him Hayden Michael Blackstone. I'm a little older now and have a bigger family.. I have 4 children now, two boys and two girls.. Ages and names are.. Hayden Michael 6, Emily LeeAnn 5, Joseph Tyler (we call him Joie) 2... and Stevie Lynn (11 months old).
We never do and I get annoyed with people who want us to share. There is little left in this world that is a surprise, baby names are one of the last things left that are a surprise. I side with you! All our children get cute little nicknames while waiting. Like the one due in about six weeks here, we are calling it "noah" since well it has survived all the stress we have endured with being flooded out by Tropical storm Lee. Each nickname is unique and gives enough to curve curiosity.
glad to know I am not the only one who doesn't like to share baby names or even name ideas.
PS- I have a girl after 2 boys and she is such a blessing and so much fun. love the hair, dresses and yes even the emotions that she brings to our house hold.
I don't have kids yet, but I won't tell anyone name ideas. People hear a name and they instantly go "EW, NO DO NOT NAME THE KID THAT!" But if you name the kid that and never tell them before he is born, they're not allowed to complain about it.
We had the boys and girls name picked out before week 20. I had Diana picked out for years (Roman goddess) and went with Rayne (got the spelling from Bloodrayne). She's named after a goddess and a half vampire video game/movie character. We told everyone he would be Gabriel Allen or she would be Diana Rayne. There's no big deal whatever way you choose to go.
With my son, I had trouble deciding. My husband kept saying one name, then a week or so, I'd change it.
But with this pregnancy, I'm keeping the sex of the baby in an envelope til my husband gets back from Afganistan so we can see it together. I think that's a big enough surprise right there. I don't care if people like the names or not. It's my husband and I's choices, they may put their opinion in but I don't let it bother me.
@TallTanYoungLovely@xanga - I have a friend who does the SAME thing with pretty much every name I come up with. Her favorite is "please don't name your child that!" and everytime she hears "exactly, it's MY child. I don't care what YOU want me to name it!!" :) lol
to the original post: I'm not pregnant right now...but I've always been the girl who throws around names for my children -- and I've decided to not choose a name until the baby is born because I don't want a Joey and have him be named Tanner or something. I have a few lists so I can hold the baby and ask what name they look like :) I've always kind of believed the baby will also help you choose...like, a kick or a cry (if they're already here).
@TallTanYoungLovely@xanga - I actually think it's rude when people make snarky comments about names. I've had people make a face at my own name because it's uncommon & they had the gall to ask "why would your parents name you that?!". I respect that we all have opinions but if you dont personally like a name someone picks, I would just congratulate them & move on.
As for the OP: I dont have kids yet but I might share the names closer to the due date.
I really like this idea actually. I don't think i could handle not knowing the sex cause I want to plan for that little new addition and if its a girl I want tons of pink and a boy I want tons of blue haha but it would be nice to keep something between me and that dad.
@Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga - UGH! YES! That has happened to me. One "friend" in high school said after making a face like she was disgusted, "Oh blegh, I don't like the name _____." My name. Bitchhhh. She was not a good friend, though. We're not friends now haha.
we've shared the name of our expected girl from around the 3-4 month
mark. we were sure what her name would be from day one though :)
my sister is 35 weeks along with my nephew...and they have tried to keep it a secret.
It was NO secret what his middle name would be...Darrel...it is his father's middle name and his father got it from an uncle who passed away...
But, as time has gone on, My brother-in-law has made the mistake of referring to the little man as "Jesse"---so we are pretty set that his name will be Jesse Darrel Stanley...
I think I will keep my middle name going too...Diane...I was named after an aunt who passed away.
I'd go old style and not tell the sex or names. How boring to call people up and be like "I had the *insert name*" and then only be able to tell them about the weight, etc?
I don't have kids yet, but I don't plan on telling people what we will name our baby until close to the due date. I know everyone has their opinions, but what is it that they have to criticize a parent's choice of their name? I am sure each expectant parent has their reason why they picked that name. I have a friend who has 3 beautiful little girls...their names are uncommon but that's what she and her husband decided on so I kept my opinions to myself. What other people name their kid is totally none of my business. However, I do like traditional names like Elizabeth or Michael. Let the kid shine on his/her own rather than try to live up to a name!
nope. We didn't find out what we were having & we didn't tell ANYONE the names we had picked out, which we finally came up w/ boy and girl names like 5 weeks before the baby came. It drove everyone nuts that they didn't know the gender or name!
We definitely did. I hated that I always had to tack an initial on to my name in school because there were 10 other Julies running around. When I was pregnant, a ton of our friends also were. When we picked my son's name, we claimed it immediately. I'm so glad we did because 2 of the other couples also had the name at the top of their lists. It's a family name and I would have been crushed if I felt we couldn't use it. Yeah, some people gave their opinions, but they were the sort who are hard to please no matter what, so we didn't take it to heart.
Yep. Just because. If we ever have baby #2, and it's a girl, I'm going to try and keep it secret. If we have a boy, everyone already knows the name, lol.
@TallTanYoungLovely@xanga - She was never really a friend then. People are so ignorant nowadays. They think if you name isnt overused or in a baby book, it's made up. There are such things as ethnic names. I have alot of close friends who are Asian or Hispanic so I grew up hearing alot of beautiful names that werent in books. Atleast not in American ones.
we did with the first but not with our baby girl. when i announced her birth i announced her name. it was exciting for me, lol. i did it just because i could really.
With my first daughter, I hadnt picked out a name until a couple hours after she was born. I threw around a couple of names. Jayslin, mostly. I still love that name. I named her GiaMarie Jun. With my second daughter I had her named picked out at 7 months pregnant. It was one of the names I had thought of for Gia. Ayano (Eye-ahn-oh) Sakarra. People always mistake her name for "Ayana", (Uh-yah-nuh) but NO. FUCK NO. THAT IS NOT HER NAME. It makes me soooo mad when people say that name. Mainly because they think it is from mexican/hispanic descent, because I am tan. I am native american and german. Her first name is Japanese. JAPANESE. My dad kept saying her name with a hispanic ascent at the hospital and i had to tell him to stop talking before I got really pissed off. Pet peeve. haha. Muh bad. I truly love both of their names.
But my sons name is already picked out and im not pregnant. Its my husbands name Robert Guy, or RobertGuy Shogun. I looooove the name Robert Guy and the name Shogun, so since my husbands family has multiple Roberts they call him Robert-Guy (said like one word) and he thought it would be cool to make RobertGuy our first sons name.
At first, I told people my "top 3 picks of the moment". We really weren't sure. Towards the end, we started leaning more toward Jacoby, but I didn't want to hear people's criticisms, so I left it out of the list I gave them lol. Jacoby Stephen was born 8/15/2011
I completely understand the whole waiting thing. My aunt had a baby and throughout her pregnancy she'd keep changing her baby's name and every time she'd make a big deal about it and say it was the final name. It wasn't a problem or anything, but I just feel like it would've been more special to everyone if she had just waited. Obviously most people don't change their mind as much as her, but I think that unless you're dead set on a name, you're better off waiting. And even if you are dead set on a name, there's something special about not knowing the baby's name until it's born. I don't think I'd tell people until my after my baby's born.
I totally respect that mindset. Your baby's name shouldn't be anyone else's business unless you want it to be. That having been said, I'm sure I'll tell a few close friends (I suck at secrets) but I certainly don't intend to broadcast it. I have a semi-ecclectic taste in names, so I don't want people judging me before I'm ready!